Retards...

This is our classroom for e-commerce, its also the classroom for several other classes. When we had our e-com exam that wasn't there - I would know, that's my place. After exam week I noticed it. UoS-er's should be ashamed, if you are going to cheat at least try to be a little less obvious with it. (Though i guess if they were that dumb to need cheating in the first place they wouldn't be smart enough to be creative about it)

How Far?

"How far can I go without turning back..?" It was the question Yuta Takemoto often asked himself during the series. It's a question I find myself pondering at this hour of the night.

There's no question as to what I want anymore, I love UoS, and yes I am fully aware of the fact that they have limited choices in regards to majors offered and the registration office and processes/procedures can be hectic and irritating little pains in the ass but despite that I still love the place and it's where I want to be right now - putting aside talk of Canada. Last summer I started feeling irritated and doubtful about my major, English, it was never something I had in mind to study and it was just a spur of the moment choice at the time the university application was placed in front of me. When I was 13 I had made up my mind that I had wanted to study Computer Science. As I got older that aspiration matured into wanting to study IT. That was my dream. I love computers and everything that pertains to them so that sounded like the most amazing thing. Somewhere down the road though, I got hooked on and obsessed with Psychology. It completely captured my heart and desires. Forgotten was IT, replaced by this new intriguing prospect. Sure it wouldn't have been as flashy or sophisticated sounding as a career in IT but hey Psychology would help me understand why the world is going to hell and ppl seem to be ok with that. While I was taking my sweet time finishing HS I began to realize that Psychology isn't exactly a major that is offered here - least not in the universities I wanted to go to and if the university had it, it was only as a minor and not major. I wasn't sure what I was going to do then but I knew I definitely wasn't doing a distance degree (online university). I contemplated the idea of going to Canada but truth is I really love UAE and feel a sorta "homesickness" when I leave (when I visited my sister in Kuwait for only 2 weeks I could think of nothing more than how much I missed my cat, Jassim, and UAE). Then one summer, BW gave me an anime to watch. She said it was interesting and from what she described of it, it sounded as such. It was the same Honey & Clover I mentioned at the beginning of this post. If you didn't follow the link and you haven't seen it before, it was about some students in an art university. I found the student who was majoring in Interior Design to be very interesting. I was drooling over his internship at an Interior Design company and from that point on I decided since Interior Design is a major that is readily available in almost all the universities here that was what I'd go for.

I'm not going to get into why I chose UoS but it was a major turn off to learn that the Fine Arts College there is Co-ed so I knew I certainly wasn't going to do Interior Design there. I had already made up my mind though that I was going to study in UoS so now it was only to decide what to study. UoS certainly didn't have Psychology nor did it have my first love, IT, as majors. What I saw when I opened the uni catalog to make my final decision was Computer Science. The study plan played a major role in the major I finally settled on, which was English - reason being it was the only major in the whole book that didn't require a single math course. Of course with a prospect like that I dived in head first without a moment's thought. The registration lady told me I had to write down two choices, so English went as my first and Computer Science as my second choice.

So you see, English was never something I had planned to study, wasn't anywhere on my wish list. Then going through a pretty boring semester of foundation courses and then finding out we didn't get internships in the English Dept. (Heck that was one of the reasons I wanted to GO to uni rather than do a boring correspondence university degree.) I scanned the university catalog over and over last summer after my first semester. I considered Visual Media from the Communications College and then Public Administration from the Business College but both turned out to be in all arabic. I kept going back to Computer Science, but the math was really no joke. Then I had a bright idea, and thought about architectural engineer. They probably get really interesting internships and then have interesting jobs later. Again MATH. I resigned myself to the fate of English after that and promised I'd have to go study Psychology elsewhere to make up for the boring English major. (I'd come back here every holiday I got and after graduating I'd have definitely come straight back here.)

Last semester there turned out to be a shortage in classes we could take (I was late registering and there wasn't really much left to choose from) so myself and two of my classmates went searching for courses we could take as free electives from the other colleges. One of them found a course called Intro. to MIS. So we all signed up for it.

I only got to attend 2 or 3 of the classes before I was called by the registration for a "violation". The registar lady told me since I hadn't taken Intro. to IT in my first semester I'd have to take it then and I had to drop Intro. to MIS because IT was a prerequisite for the MIS course. I was really upset. Even though I had only taken 2 or 3 classes I had already fallen deeply in love with it. Everything happens for a reason though... I was looking in the uni catalog to find a replacement course for the Intro to MIS that I had to drop and I saw that MIS was a major in the Business College. Freakin' AMAZING. I was imagining how interesting that must be to have it as a Major - just imagine the internships they must get?! I went immediately to the registar and asked her if I could change my major and what were the procedures. She told me I was too late and would have to wait till the following semester. I was bummed at first, then I realized there were like 7 math courses in the study plan for MIS majors. I thought and thought about that fact. Till this sudden impulse yelled "Screw it! Face your fears" One of my classmates said something similar to that and encouraged me not to let something like math hold me back from doing something I'd enjoy. I made up my mind I was going to go for it. Then during the semester I had serious doubts and wasn't sure what I wanted anymore, and as always I have BW to thank for being the voice of reason when my reasoning is being unreasonable. By the end of the semester I was 180% sure that I wanted to go thru with changing my major to MIS and that I wasn't going to let the fact that it had math courses in it keep me from it.

I was totally psyched about it and even got the text book for the first math course I'd be required to take. All my classmates laughed at me. I tried explaining to them that I brought the book so I could at least study it from then until the following semester, this way I'd have a headstart and would at least have some clue as to what I was supposed to be doing. Of course they didn't understand that. No one understands how far down below average my mathematical skills are. Last semester I opened the book once, read 2 paragraphs, shut the book and dropped it under a pile of junk - that's how frustrated I was with how much I understood from it, which was zilch. Despite that, I changed my major anywayz - a decision, I, in no way, shape or form, regret.

I promised myself I'd study really hard and pass math and if it turned out to be really hard - well, I'd just study harder. BW offered to help me when she can and I admit I was reluctant at first to accept that offer. All the previous times I had help with math or tutors for it they'd explain and explain and explain and no matter how hard I tried to follow I could never keep up. The last thing I wanted was to have her wasting her time trying to help me with the impossible when the end result was always the same; me feeling extremely dumb and supremely frustrated. I began to wonder - and even then it wasn't so much wondering as I was sure that I wasn't "normal" when it came down to math and that maybe there was a form of dyslexia that worked in the numbers department rather than the usual literary one it beseiged.

The first math class I attended, the teacher called on me to answer something that was on the board. It was a simple single digit answer I had to give. I got it wrong (of course) and I'm guessing my answer was so far off that everyone (They all turned around to see who gave that answer) was wondering if I was truly and seriously that stupid or just trying to be funny.

Then the first night I showed BW what it was I had to study, she went over it with me and explained it all to me in the simplest of terms and as I had feared; nothing sank in. I went home, opened the book and not long afterwards, closed it. I couldn't make sense of anything.

The second time she sat with me, I was so ready to call it off and contemplated dropping the math course all together.. Ha, she must have sensed that somehow cuz the things she said that night were enough to light a fire under me and get me motivated enough to really put my everything into trying to understand math.

By the third and fourth times I was surprised to find that little things were starting to sink in. Things I had never understood before and were now beginning to make some sort of logical sense. For that I have to thank both, BW and a (former) classmate of mine who sometimes helps me in the car on our way to uni in the mornings. That improvement, though I bet it was really small, in comparison to what I should know, felt huge to me and it was more than enough to make me feel like I actually wanted to put more effort into understanding the concepts. I started spending my breaks between classes solving equations. At first more were wrong than were right but the more carefully I worked the closer to correct my answers became until I started coming up with correct answers on first tries. I started practicing solving equations before going to bed every night and then one night it was way after 2am and I was tired but felt reluctant to go to bed. It was like the reluctance to stop when you're in the middle of watching an interesting show/movie/anime or playing a vid game and are on a high level... I was ACTUALLY "enjoying" solving equations - and not just solving but ending up with the CORRECT answers for the first time in a very long time.

That was two weeks ago - or maybe 3 by now. Last week I had become so totally obsessed with practicing and solving equations that I kept the book and blank papers beside my bed and equations were the last thing I looked at before I slept and the first thing I touched in the morning. There was only one problem; I was getting the right answers and all BUT it was taking me 40+ mins for each equation. The time we are allowed for the midterms is only 50mins and there was no way in hell that the midterm would only have one question on it so I was doomed, I thought. All my hard work for abso-freakin-lutely NOTHING. Give up I had, though shameful to admit.. BW told me to practice while timing myself and my prob would be solved. I did nothing that day but solve and note times and it worked! I felt confident almost to the point of being cocky and was actually looking forward to the exam. Scoring 3/4s of whatever mark the midterm was out of would have made my semester (though I wouldn't want that for any of my other subjects - that would be an amazing score for me in math.)

Gosh, I've gone on quite a bit haven't I? I'm trying hard not to rant, but those of you who know me probably have already guessed I am really upset at the moment. Does it still count as a "rant" if you are trying to keep it under control and not just write whatever angry thoughts come to mind???

Maybe I should just stop here and go to bed, it's already after 2am and the cursed math class is at bloody 8 in the morning...

Dreaming of Espresso

A double espresso with milk would be absolutely amazing at the moment. Drained doesn't even describe the feeling at the moment. I spent my break today solving random equations on finding the equilibrium price and quantity of each. I reviewed both of the topics, then went over the section about black market profits. I then timed myself to see how fast I could solve each equation with it's multiple parts. I got my time down from 11mins to 6mins to 5 mins to finally 3mins. Then I tried to solve the final equation which introduced Black Market Profits and my time jumped back up to 7mins - and on top of that the answer I came up with was totally wrong.

Those of you who know me are probably wondering what the heck is going on.. well yes this is me actually "talking" about math. Amazingly I am starting to get the hang of it and actually find solving equations and getting the "correct" answer somewhat satisfying... In the end though I do feel like I am progressing alot (huge thanx to BW) it doesn't really cover the very vivid truth though.

Truth is, I'm worried - with all due right of course. Tomorrow is the feared Business Math midterm. I've been working my ass off for it and still end up making little stupid mistakes that add up and mean big mistakes. I thought I had at least scored a 10/20 on my last math quiz (quiz 2). I got the paper back today and was pretty surprised to find otherwise. I had practiced even more on Thursday evening (with BW) and on most of Friday, so I figured now I must be able to spot my mistakes. I couldn't wait till class ended so I could sit down and try and come up with the correct answer without having to ask BW what my mistake was.

WARNING: IF YOU HAVE STRONG FEELINGS AGAINST MATH, THEN IT IS HIGHLY ADVISABLE THAT YOU DO NOT ADVANCE BEYOND THIS POINT...

...YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.....

This is what quiz 2 looked like. It started with this equation:

P = -2Q + 50

P = 1/2Q + 25

a) Determine the equilibrium price and quantity.

b) Calculate the tax paid by the consumer and by the producer.

This is what I did (after the teacher marked my paper 8/ 20 [4 mark improvement over 4/20] ):

P = -2Q + 50 = 1/2Q + 25

50 – 25 = ½ Q + 2Q

25 = 2.50Q

25/2.50 = 2.50Q/2.50

10=Q

My original mistake had been calculating 25/2.50 in my head, and somehow 2.50 being half of 5 became half in my head so I solved it as 25/0.5 . So fine this time I caught my original mistake, but then when I got to finding the equilibrium price I found something else wasn't right.

P_d = -2Q + 50

= -2(10) +50

= 20 + 50

P_d = 70

P_s = ½ Q + 25

= 0.5(10) + 25

= 5 + 25

P_s = 30

In the end Pd is supposed to equal Ps.. I couldn't understand why the hell that wasn't happening. I thought about it for a while and wondered if maybe the original equation was supposed to read:

P = -2Q - 50

P = 1/2Q + 25

I tried the new "fixed" equation and came up with:

P = -2Q – 50 = ½ Q + 25

= -2 Q – 50 = 0.5Q + 25

= -25 – 50 = 0.5 + 2Q

= 25/2.50 = 2.50Q/2.50

10 = Q

P_d = -2Q – 50

= -2(10) – 50

= -20 – 50

= 30

Then both equations (Pd & Ps) would come down to the same thing (30). And the answer to part (a) of the quiz would have been

Equilibrium Price = 30
Quantity = 10

So now my question is: did the teacher really make a mistake like that???

White Rabbit

When logic and proportion

Have fallen sloppy dead,

And the White Knight is talking backwards

And the Red Queen's "off with her head!

"Remember what the dormouse said:

"Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head"

This song was played in both Supernatural and Sopranos and suddenly this particular part is stuck in my head. Come to think of it, whenever I feel moody the first thing that comes to mind is "Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall" it's also from the same song.

I think I've finally realized something that used to puzzle me before. I used to wonder how shabab would pull such painstakingly obvious dangerous car stunts and not seem to have a bit of fear. Fear is there, it's not that they don't have any. Just that when the bloodstream is over-run and taken over by the adrenaline the person can think of nothing else but the moment of that feeling - or rush as I think it is called. I think I experienced it today when out driving. I was coming up on a roundabout just as an 18-wheeler (truck) was going around. I miscalculated it's speed and drove straight into the roundabout. The moment I did I knew my mistake. Can't say I felt much regret at the time though - not as I realized the sound of the truck right there on top of the car was far too close, not as I realized what a horrible sound metal crashing metal makes, not as I realized the glass of mother's car was being shattered to bits and the car was flipping over and over on it's side pressing the sides of the car closer and closer and certainly not while I was wondering "Gee, what am I supposed to tell the mother when she returns from Bu Dhabi to find her car totaled beyond repair - heck, screw repair, after this it would probably be unrecognizable!"

You know, that 'rush' probably carries with a person till death and doesn't just suddenly desert you after the fact. Yes, that too I realized as I drove out the other side of the roundabout and watched the truck, thru my rearview, turn off at the exit road before the one I took. [And yes in case you're wondering that was my imagination - except for, the truck really had been in the roundabout and I really did miscalculate but managed to fix it before regretable damage was done (alhamdillah), it was adrenline rush city though.] It did make me wonder what the chances of me dying in a car crash would be. I'd say 90% chance but then again it's become such a common cause of death amongst young ppl these days and my sis is always saying in this family things always have to be unique - so unique that it's almost far fetched. Unfortunately that is pretty true and I often wish our family was closer to 'normal' than 'abnormal' but what can a person do? Fate is fate unless it's the changeable kind and family doesn't really seem to fall into that category. So I'd say my chance is around 60% - barring I don't get my wish to go 'surfing' one day.... (Not exactly dangerous IF you know how to swim, but that's just it. I DON'T)

Emotionless

Less than an hour till the greatly anticipated Marketing midterm II ::sarcasm implied::... I've honestly done the best I could and if I fail after my efforts what can I say??

I was listening to a nasheed (an ancient one by nasheed standards) yesterday evening and this odd feeling captured me. I don't have the time right now to explain it but I think the closest to what I feel at the moment would best be described by the japanese word "ejanaika".

My friend is getting frantic for me to get moving and be outside the exam room door so I best get going...

Caffeine Urges..

I awoke this morning with two desires: A large Caramel Macchiato and to get some studying done for my finals next week.

Realization: Today’s Friday – school café is CLOSED.

Fine, I’ll settle for a homemade instant cappuccino..

A search in the kitchen cupboards turns up a “Carrefore” brand weak imitation instant coffee.. Ha, ha HA – as coach would sarcastically laugh. Ain’t no way EL Hazard would lower herself to drink such vile, weak liquid..

sErIoUsLy! The trademark cappuccino “froth” in that stuff is merely two bubbles clinging to the side of the mug! I mean even the VENDING machine at school can manage a semi-glorious froth on your cappuccino! Ha, fine when you don’t have a horse ride a cow right? I’ll drink tea with milk. I search the cupboards again and find every exotic and weird tea the stores carry: Vanilla & Pineapple, Raspberry & Echinacea, Green tea w/ orange, Green tea w/ mint, Green tea w/ apple, Green tea w/ java, Green tea w/ lemon, Green tea w/ ginger…..(Ya waylna min Green tea afan allah!) lemon & ginger tea, sage tea, anise tea, Earl Grey tea, Darjeeling tea, M- something tea (purple box).. Allah yasamhich Umee! Ma 3andna “normal tea”?!

I searched some more and found a box of store brand imitation Lipton. “Fine” I thought digging the box out from underneath “Exotica tea land”. It was oddly light. I opened the box and found it was EMPTY! Nooooooooooooooo! I could hear the exotic teas snickering mockingly.

Allllllll the way in the back of the cupboard I saw a container with tea granules. Aha! I can make karak. Dismissing the appearance of those tea granules (I think they were old and it wasn’t good tea quality aslan..) I turned them into a sick looking imitation karak. Even the color looked miskeen! I drunk it even though I’m very picky about my karak. There are only three karaks that I really like (believe me I’ve tasted many), from the karak shop down the street from my house, Karak at Bookworm’s house, and Karak from a Shamsi lady’s house (her karak was to die for.. it was a cross between cappuccino and karak.. kinda creamy with froth on top).

I drank two cups of my creation and looked like this:

It definitely didn’t arouse desire to study.. so instead of studying I hung around online. It wasn’t until after I went to go reheat that stuff (I had to study and can’t study without some caffeine..) I noticed the cute jar of dried tea leaves Bookworm had given me some time ago. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I’m saved! (I made tea with that before and it was great) I normally don’t like to waste but I had to toss that awful karak and make a fresh pot.
Hehe, with Bookworm’s tea my karak looked and smelled marvelous. Lol Such great tea would definitely need great milk.. Stole a can of mother’s sacred Rainbow Cardamom flavor milk and dumped it into my concoction. Perfect-o! (Lol, she’ll have plenty to say when she sees the emptied can in the garbage…I’ll justify it, she has more in the closet =P )

Equipped with passing Karak (not as great as any of the above mentioned 3 but a pretty good imitation if I do say so myself =P ) I shall dive into some grammar for my Language Development final..

Ediilee, Allah yakhaleekum!

Grounded

Since 6 am I’ve been trying to come up with a topic to turn into my Speech Comm presentation for the final exam. For all that trying I’ve come up with ZILCH. Well sure I *had* two perfectly good topics: Kyoto Japan as an informative speech or Marilena the Wicked as a persuasive speech. I’ve scrapped both. The last time I gave a speech even though I thought the topic was deeply interesting it came out really crappy and my mates had boredom written all over their faces. It was really embarrassing and I definitely don’t want a repeat of that – especially not with a final grade at stake.

Extreme Sports as an informative speech came to mind.. I’m not so sure of it though. A few minutes ago The Origin of the English Language also as an informative speech came to mind. I’m not sure either of those would do. I wish I could talk about Nasheeds – I get the feeling though they’d be more bored with that topic than they’ve ever been the whole semester…

::sighs::

The Price of Addiction

I’m glad this round of exams is finally over.. I feel I need to go and throw up all of the diet coke and Lays salt & vinegar chips I consumed all this week during study time.

Back when I was going to MPS I usually would stop on my way and buy a bag or two of those same salt & vinegar chips. They quickly turned into an addiction. I’d usually have no less than two bags a day. I thought BW’s equating them to dried oil was funny in a way, I never saw the chips like that. One morning I brought them and had opened them preparing to eat when I took a sniff (yeah I know that sounds kinda animal-ish but it’s a habit I have of smelling food sometimes before I eat it – I do it more if it’s something I have never had before.) the smell really turned me off. I was holding the chip and looking at it and it suddenly looked extra greasy to the point where it was like transparent and shining. *Ugh* Needless to say I couldn’t eat them after that. Instead I switched to the French Cheese Lays (LOL as if!) they looked better than the vinegar ones. They at least weren’t gleaming from the oil. Finally I just stopped eating them all together.

A couple of weeks back I started eating them again. For some reason they didn’t smell ‘greasy’ anymore and the vinegar tasted really good. I ate them off and on that week. My stomach grumbled. I ignored it, I thought it was just hurting to be hurting.. It does that sometimes. Then one day during the weekend I had a meat sandwich (one of those fatayar things) a bag of those lays – or maybe it was two bags – and a diet coke. Not even an hour later I was doubled over from the pain in my stomach. I thought maybe the meat sandwich might have been the culprit. Actually I was almost sure it was, never for a moment suspected those chips.

I hadn’t bought any chips till this week when exams started. I suddenly had a taste for coffee again (really fell outta touch with my former fave drink since the time I had to abstain from it last summer.. I was down to like a cup once a month.) I figured it was perfectly ok to go and indulge since I didn’t think I was anemic any more. Ha ha HA. I ordered the best cup I ever remember tasting from the 1st Avenue Café we have there at school. It was a Caramel Macchiato. (now that I think about it it’s an ESPRESSO coffee with flavor and a fancy name.) As soon as I took a sip my head felt funny. I finished it and went to wait for the bus to go home. I felt light headed the whole short walk to the bus and as soon as I got on the bus I slept like a log. I was afraid I’d miss my stop for sure and even dreamt that I missed it. (lucky for me I kinda woke a bit before my stop and then fought off the strong screaming urge to drift back to sleep.)

Don’t u know the very next day EL-stupid-Hazard absent mindedly went and ordered the LARGE version of the same Macchiato! I mentally kicked myself when I realized midway through that I was drinking coffee again after the day before. I had hell for the rest of the day. I was in the store that evening and while I was waiting in line I suddenly felt so dizzy. I was sure I was going to fall. I stood near the wall and closed my eyes (can u guys just imagine the embarrassment?! I’d never be able to go to the Co-op again had I fainted in there – and it was my favorite co-op.) Ok so that means either I’m still anemic and just imagined I was all better or coffee has decided to hold a grudge against moi for deserting it for so long…

At any rate I drank diet coke more often than coffee now so I’d just stick with that I thought. During exam time a diet coke 3-4 times a week became at least 3 times per day starting with one at breakfast while I’d study at the last minute in the cafeteria. You know, I’m only now seeing that that was really bad – and it’s not because I wanna puke out this week’s worth of diet coke and chips! I had those vinegar chips a couple of times this week even though it wasn’t as much as the coke. This weekend I decided to continue with those vinegar chips. I woke up Friday morning craving them. By Friday night my stomach was killing me like that time before when I had that sandwich. This morning was when it finally dawned on me that it was those damn chips that have been hurting my stomach. I still had diet coke today with a croissant – bad idea. I hope this wanting to puke feeling goes away by tomorrow. I sure don’t think I wanna sit through Islamic Culture with this feeling.

One good thing has come from all of this though:

I.HAVE.LEARNT.MY.LESSON!


I’ll go healthy this week so the effects of all that garbage will wear off…





I wanna drink Macchiatoooooooooooo!

Something to smile about

Came across this news article... U all can conclude I am smiling like an idiot in anticipation of next week =)

Yi, maybe I'll save my smiling for "after" tomorrow. My midterm speech is due and Language Practice Exam...

Ha, before even tomorrow I have to make it thru the rest of today. Tennis Lesson tonight, means I have to see Marilena the Wicked. If I was a "guy" (ever noticed that all the school shootings have always been carried out by guys?) I'd probably have already beaten her to death with a racket. Monday she went way overboard when I told her I wasn't coming. Thing was I knew I didn't have anymore time on my lesson card and needed to renew it (which is the dumbest thing cuz if one is on the team one really shouldn't have to pay for lessons/team practice..) -I'm obviously broke. That and I was in the middle of doing my speech for my speech exam which at that time was due the next day. My mom wasn't home which would have meant I would have had to catch a taxi to the club. At 7pm infront of my house it takes at least 30-40 mins to find an empty taxi willing to take u to the club - plus the fact I didn't feel like getting off of 8 dhs for it. All of that and it was just more favorable for me to keep my tail home and finish my speech like a good student. My downfall was when I decided to be "decent" and call the club and say I wasn't going.

I really am quite stupid, the last time I decided to pull an act of decency and call in, the coach went whole witch on me and I should have learned my lesson then. Anywayz after some thought I figured the most logical excuse the coach would understand would be that I had an exam the next day and needed to finish my assignment for it. I was telling the gym receptionist that when she decided it was better if I told the coach myself (ha, I feel sorry for all the receptionists over there that have to put up with the TWO wicked Marilenas - the ice skating coach over there is also a Marilena and every bit the devil the tennis Marilena is... maybe it's the name?) Anywayz I barely finish saying I couldn't come because I hadn't finished my assignment and she blows up on me. (I made the mistake about going for tennis the night before that with my doubles partner) She just kept going on and on and on about how come I didn't know I had that assignment to finish the night before when I was there playing tennis (I actually thought I was going to finish it the next day before tennis anywayz) and why was I only calling ten minutes before the lesson (technically I could do that cuz I hadn't renewed my card and they don't like to let u go for ur lesson anywayz if u don't pay so I could have even called 50 mins into the hour lesson and said I wasn't coming and it wouldn't have made a damn difference) I told her anywayz I hadn't paid and I was just calling to let her know (as if the animal cared) then she tells me (I called one day an hour before the lesson and cancelled and she told the receptionist to write me in as absent meaning I'd miss that lesson and wouldn't be given a make up) she erased that absence they had written in so I had a lesson (Wallah! since when did the coach start doing things like that?? I don't even think that's allowed) but she sees I didn't deserve her generosity (that's exactly what she said) and if that's how I'm going to be then she isn't going to be generous anymore (WTF???!! Her and the word generous are exact OPPOSITES). Then she goes into how I'm not taking my responsibilty as a team member seriously and how I come one day and then miss the next 5 days (i SWEAR she's lying.. this month I've only missed two lessons and even those were way apart) and that she also sees that she probably made a big mistake promoting me to the team and she's done me a FAVOR (her exact words ppl) and I'm being ungrateful for that favor cuz with her favor team members are paying like 3 times less than the regular tennis students blah blah blah.

Maybe it's totally wrong but when ppl tell me they are doing me a "favor" like that - wallah I'm paying and coming and we practice while she sits her ________ in the chair and yells at us for 90% of the lesson (she rarely gets out of that chair anymore)- but yet she's doing me a favor??? Does favor not mean u are actually doing something for the person? I never asked to be on the tennis team.. I stopped going for nearly a month while I was getting everything together for Uni and quitting MPS, one day she happened to see my sister after skating practice and she asks about me. My sister told her I was planning to go to Uni and join the tennis team there and BAM all of a sudden the coach tells her she has this offer for me and I need to contact her right away.. But in her opinion I went and begged her to please please put me on the team.

My blood was boiling. Of course that meant the end of rehearsing my speech. At the last minute I decided I was going to turn my persuasive speech into a speech to persuade my mates that the tennis coach was truly wicked just for the sake of being wicked. I am so sure that topic will get me a straight A for my presentation and argument alone. Seriously what the hell does she gain from being the way she is and saying the things she says?

My doubles partner/friend signed on msn that night. She hadn't gone to tennis either cuz she was out someplace on a school assigned trip or something and got caught in traffic and couldn't make it back in time. Even though she knows the coach can really get down and witchy she was still amazed that the coach could actually say the things she said. By then I was seriously going to quit tennis for real. Who in their bloody right mind pays to be spoken to like that? When I'm that angry I usually don't listen to what others say but some how my friend managed a direct hit to my biggest weakness and I reluctantly agreed to stay on. I so wasn't feelin it though.

The next morning in Grace's class, which is supposed to be about analyzing articles and determining the modes and purpose of writing, "suppposed to" I said but lately she's been going pretty psychology class on us. It was good though. I really felt her class that morning. It seemed as if it were tailor made for me to hear that day. She was saying that sure teachers and ppl in general say spiteful things which make us turn around and wonder and think deeply as to why or how could they say such things. In the end they don't care and we should learn to adapt/tolerate and not let such things get to us (of course she said it in a way cooler so psychology class way) I felt loads better when I walked out of her class. But in the end I still wasn't prepared for my speech. When the speech comm doc called me up I decided to try my luck and ask for a postponement. I nearly died from shock when he said "ok".

Both the speech comm doc and Grace seemed totally weird when I first met them but they've definitely earned my respect..

(Gosh! I so hadn't meant to write about all of this in this post... maybe I should change the title it only suits the first paragraph...... no I'll leave it as it is.)

Be Warned pt II

Second contemptible party.. dammit I just remembered someone else who pissed me off at school today, scratch 3: it’s 4.

The animals for classmates (including the two demon spawns for group mates lazy beasts). One girl, actually she’s my friend – I often have fun teasing her about usually being late for class- she knows it’s good natured teasing though. And it’s not really her fault she’s late...well at least not 95% of the time. She comes from the other end of the campus which takes at least a good ten minutes if u aren’t running. Anywayz some how she didn’t know we had our mid-term today. I feel badly about it cuz I see her all the time and I knew but it never occurred to me that she might not have known the exam was today. Anywayz she gets to class and asks if it was possible to postpone it till at least Tuesday. The teacher would have done it but then chaos broke out in the classroom. All of the “humans” agreed that they wanted to postpone the exam but then when the teacher said Tuesday some said Thursday, some said they have exams on Thursday so any other day they claimed they’d agree to (which was a lie cuz other days were proposed and they still whined) and then one idiot (I seriously wanted to get up and do violence on that chic) actually came up with: “But I spent the whole weekend studying for this exam cuz it was today and now that’s all going to be wasted.”

@#$%^& What kinda of a dumb @$$ excuse was that???!! I mean the girl really is an idiot if she even bothered to study then it shouldn’t matter whether she did the test today or the day after tomorrow the material should still be in her damn head (sheesh I’ll cut the profanity.. I’m really irritated.. maybe I’ll take a minute and go squeeze that stress ball I got a couple of times)

Ok, so as I was saying. With the exception of that one individual.. the teacher was so ready to postpone the exam till even next Sunday if everyone just shut up and agreed. Don’t you know even to have it postponed all the way till next Sunday the Mdala3een Niggas all raised hell whining they have exams. The policy is if we happen to have 3 exams on one day we have the right to go and complain. Going and complaining or rather whining is OPTIONAL if we feel we can’t study for all three at once. Those Mdala3een Niggas always whine whenever they have just TWO exams in one day. Where the hell do they think they are??? Is Uni not comprised of studying??? If they can’t handle a few exams go the hell back to KG…I’m sure they’d have lots of fun coloring and playing with puzzles. I’ve never seen such stupidity in my entire life – with a very few exceptions. Meanwhile while they are whining only thinking about the fact that THEY –Lord forbid- would have more than one exam in one day, are completely ignoring the fact that this poor girl who didn’t even know there was an exam today would have to sit for it even though she didn’t study a lick so Miss My-Whole-Weekend-was-Wasted can sit for the exam today instead of the day after and the rest of those pansies can have an exam per day. The last time we had Islamic Culture exam I had three exams in one day plus a quiz and they were all one right after the other with only break enough to walk from one class room to the next. It didn’t kill me. And I doubt they’d die if they did it once in their damned lives.

The girl stood in front of the whole class and begged for them to agree to postpone. They didn’t care. My Favorite Twins and the girl next to them argued the poor girl’s point. One of the twins pointed out that since it is religion class if someone did happen to spend their time studying all weekend for it it wasn’t wasted cuz that fool is supposed to know the stuff anywayz and if she didn’t maybe it’d benefit her. Two other girls gave another outburst about how if they postpone it they have other exams later. The other twin tried to explain to them to be rational and think of how they’d feel if they were in the girl’s position. They just shrugged and carried on. It was back and forth between the twins’ rational arguments and those of the uncaring rocks for classmates…actually I refuse to acknowledge those creatures as mates. In the end the teacher told the girl to sit down and the exam was going to be today since agreement on postponing couldn’t be reached.

I felt really bad for the girl. I hadn’t studied really myself (figured it was pointless since I had a feeling most of it was coming from what was discussed while I had my routine power naps during class times) and I would have rather gotten the test over with quickly just to get it out of the way but I raised my hand in favor of postponing – we WERE supposed to be mates so we should have all been sticking out for each other.. Unfortunately animals can’t act like anything other than animals much less caring civilized individuals.

Thankfully the teacher seems to have a shred of compassion in him, he told the girl after she sat down and I guess his conscience was about to kill him that she could leave and didn’t have to sit for the exam. I hope that means that she can sit for the exam later Inshalla.

Being that it was a religion class and all and in no religion is it tolerable for people of the same faith to act in such an uncaring manner towards their brethren of the same faith or even others of other faith (heck no person should be uncaring of another person whether that person be living or even dead) the teacher should have given all of those uncaring creatures an immediate and unchangeable “ F ”. What’s the point of taking a religion exam when u fail in basic etiquette/manners/protocol whatever the hell you wanna call it??? True it’s a uni requirement and all but it’s obvious that if they can’t even pass a simple test of consideration they need to go way back to the beginning and fill in the gaps their parents obviously neglected to teach them about.

I’m seriously considering not turning in that project I slaved over for 3 days and sleepless nights so those two can get an F.. I don’t care if I have to get an F with them as long as they get it.

My God… I am so irritated right now I think I’ll go strangle that poor stress ball. (Poor thing has eyes that bulge when u squeeze him too hard)

Nameless Post 111

Haven’t felt like posting in a while.. I was really depressed and frustrated with life. Everything about it, especially with the things I have no control over. I was losing interest in everything and it seemed anything I turned to to relieve or at least ease my frustration was either wrong or increased it. A great way to feel in the middle of midterm exam time. I’m not sure if it was the reason but for sure it must be part of the reason I failed the Islamic Culture exam – that and the fact I can’t stay awake during that class to save my damn life. (In the end the professor gave each of us – all of his students- 3 points, which was enough to lift me and a few other girls out of failure… In my opinion I still failed.)

The last thing I wanted to do was go to uni. When I’m in that mood I just lock myself in my room for hours at a time.. sometimes even for days straight. I’d regret accumulating all those absences if I stayed home these past 2 weeks so I was forced to go to school. I hated every minute of it and every thing and body annoyed me. I was living only for the moment I could get on the bus and return to my sanctuary.

I get picked up from the first stop on the busses route. Among the many advantages of being the first on the bus (after getting whatever seat I want) is getting to observe those who board the bus after me. I do it all the time. For more than a week I had completely ignored everyone on the bus and just stared out the window. Last Thursday I don’t know why but I found myself observing my bus mates as they boarded. I noticed that most of them get dropped at the stop by either one or both of their parents. It irritated my mood greatly. I was near turning away when I noticed one of the girls who always sits across the aisle from me. (by pure chance sometimes, no matter what bus we board or what row I sit in…heck even the times cuz lots of students have different schedules and go home at different times so that usually means on different buses – it is rare when I don’t see her on the bus.) I suspect she’s a freshman like me. We always get on the bus between 6:40 and 7:00 am which means we have to get up pretty early every morning. Anywayz, despite the earliness of the hour she always boards greeting everyone with a huge smile and amazing bounce in her step - just brimming with energy and eagerness to see what the next day of uni will bring. One of her parents drops her at the stop every morning as well but I seriously doubt that could be the reason for her bright mood every morning, maybe part of the reason… (Mashalla Alayha – I hope she continues to be bright every morning…amen ya rabb) Seeing her made me think.. think in a way that I hadn’t been thinking in the past two weeks. It made me realize that while everyone has things going on in their lives that they can’t control there are still plenty of things that they do have control over. These past few weeks I was letting all the things I have no control over get to me and the anger and frustration I was feeling due to that was causing me to lose control over the things that a person normally has control of. I’ve said before that I’m not normally a competitive person. Though that feeling of competitiveness bites me from time to time, sometimes over things totally trivial to other people. I couldn’t stand what my anger was turning me into and I certainly wasn’t about to lose to Miss Bright and Cheery on the bus. From that moment I resolved myself to control what is within my power and ability to control – completely. I desperately needed to loosen the tension that had built up. A certain good friend of mine decided we should go play tennis together – something we hadn’t done in ages. It was relaxing and for the first time in these long two weeks I felt happy. It was as if all my frustration, anger and problems were locked out of the court and all that remained was the relaxed feeling of being free. I tried to explain how grateful I was to my friend for coming out and playing with me but all I could come up with was that it was appreciated. Appreciated doesn’t seem like the right word. In the end I guess it’s a feeling that can’t be described or put into words. I hope that she always finds someone there for her when she is in need of a friend.

It’s only 10 pm but already I feel the urge to sleep.. This will be one of the few times I give in easily to the urge without a mini-war.

I’m exhausted.

(Btw, this post really is number 111)

Thank God it's Thursday =)

And I thought last week was crazy! Ha ha.. HA. I have seen some sights this week and I seriously believe my eyes will never be the same again.. EVer!

One morning as I was sitting in the bus, waiting for it to pull off, I saw something quite big run into the street. It half flew, half ran. I saw wings so I knew it wasn't cat or dog but it was too big to be a normal pigeon or the other small birds one normally sees. It did it's cross run/fly thingie to the median in a very ackward way. It was now closer and I could see it was in fact a duck (cute black and white one). It was then that I noticed there were two guys chasing it. That duck worked them as it zig-zagged on and off the streets and both duck and guys were dangerously close to being hit by one of the passing by cars (there was no traffic so the cars were driving normally). Finally they chased the duck to the other side of the road out of sight. A few minutes later I saw them passby with the now captured duck. I really felt bad for the duck cuz the guy who caught it was obviously angry after having such a workout so early in the morning and was carrying the duck by its wings (ouch!).

That was the morning.. after my last class that afternoon I was walking to the school cafeteria to see if the day's menu looked appealing and I happened to pass by the lounge room. The lounge room is part of the cafeteria but instead of the normal lunch tables and chairs there are sofas and coffee tables (we're allowed to carry food in there if we want). Anywayz, for no explainable reason I decided to have a look inside as a passed.... I seriously thought my eyes had definitely seen everything when I first saw two girls "necking" (I mean that in a literal sense..they were in fact kissing each other "passionately" on the necks) on campus. But the day I peaked in the lounge room was even worse. I saw a girl actually LAYING on top of another girl! (They were with a group of other girls also sitting around on the sofas. The two guilty girls were fully clothed but it was still pretty sick to see).

The final for that day which was less than the first two but still not something I expected to see - especially not on campus - a SUV with two girls hanging on to the sides as the SUV sped down the road..

I have absolutely no doubt that the world is coming to an end....

The next morning as I walked to the bus my eyes were graced by a cat's tail - which was about 5 or 6 inches long- just laying on the floor. I considered taking a pic of it for you guys but I wouldn't wanna be flagged for such graphic depictions of "violence" on my blog.. I do wonder how that tail got detached from its owner though. It's been there in the same place for 3 days now. I see it every morning on my way to the bus.

That was the sights of this week (rather the major ones that burned themselves in my memory).. Study wise it was also pretty crazy. Some how the professors for Islamic Culture and Language Developement (hardcore British English grammar) both decided that today was the day that they definitely had to have their exams. Speech Comm exam was supposed to be on Tuesday but the Doc canceled cuz he had to invigilate another class' exam. In the end that meant Speech Comm exams fell on the next Speech Comm day - THURSDAY. So Tuesday evening was when it finally set into my thick head that I would have 3 exams come Thursday.

Couldn't make up my mind which exam I was dreading the most but Speech Comm and Language Dev were definitely in close competition. It was crazy.. one day - Wednesday- to study / prepare for 3 exams plus the weekly quiz we have in Lang. Prac.. (Even though my presentation for Speech Comm was ok and ready on Tuesday I wasn't happy with it and there was alot of room for improvement..) I had classes on Wednesday and got home at 2. Relaxed a bit and studied before I had to go to the club for tennis. Team practice and the coach was already moody with me for missing 2 days in a row (The first time I didn't feel like going and roasting in the sun cuz it was in the afternoon instead of early morning or evening. The second time I was legitimately sick and there was no way I could have gone). I carried my books got there 2 hours early (had to take my sis for skating practice) studied. practiced. studied some more till 10 pm and then finally left the club came home and studied some more till I fell asleep on my sofa with my laptop on my lap.

Before I left this morning I downloaded a few anime and J-Drama pics to add to my presentation. I studied some more in the bus. Opted to skip breakfast and cram in a couple of minutes more studying and do some last minute touchups on my slideshow. My classmate came and forced me to have something so I had one of my fave drinks (Chocolate Caramel latte thingie.. excellent source of caffeine) and a part of cheese manakish. By the time I looked at the clock again it was 5 mins to 9. No more time, islamic cul. is all the way on the other side of the campus in relation to the cafeteria I was sitting in.

Islamic wasn't that bad.. I think I might have studied enough - "might have". Next it was off to the quiz. Praise the Lord it was easy. The teacher pissed me off though. She asked a question and the answer was a word that meant to give us the wrong info when we are looking for a correct answer. She said it begins with a "M". I thought and thought and thought and the girls gave her all kinds of wrong answers. Finally I called out "misleads us to the answer" She frowned and said that none of us understood what she was trying to point out and that the answer was "Misguides".. took me a few minutes to realize that she had misunderstood what I had called out and thought I said "Ms. - leads us to the answer." (we call her Ms.). I swallowed it and decided better not to start problems over a simple misunderstanding. Lang. Prac. ended and it was off to Speech Comm exam (between each of these is only 10 mins which get used in transit to the next classroom) I was so dreading Speech Comm exam the most. I decided before I got there that I was so not going to be first. I needed time to collect myself. Thankfully when I got to the classroom one of my mates A.A.T was setting up her laptop and then she proceeded on and went first.

A.A.T is really shy and had said so in her intro presentation when we first started the course. She said lots of things in her intro speech about herself and how she feels about things. I so could relate with 95% of what she was saying I immediately took a liking to her though I was too shy myself to go and make friends with her. Anywayz, so she went first today and her speech was really good. Her presentation was of course informative (we were supposed to give informative speeches) her topic was Ice Swimming. The topic was ok and all and her presentation also looked ok but what really got me was how she presented. I could tell she was a bit nervous at the beginning (we have both done the same amount of speeches - 2 before today which made 3) but as she got into her presentation she got more and more confident and I guess that was the result of her ambition to do well. Some of my own nervousness started to melt away. If she can drum up that amount of confidence and present like that then so can I!

After A.A.T another girl went. I reviewed my flashcards (advice from the great one =P) and mentally went through my slides. The girl finished and I parted with my seat moving to the front to become the next victim..

Breath...breath. Cleared my throat (cuz last time I just started talking and ended up doing more squeaking than talking) and started with "Ohayo" (we have to start with something that would catch our audiences attention and we also have to greet them so I decided to kill two birds with one stone) I went through the mandatory brief overview of the presentation and then on to the introduction (I had placed pics of cartoons that aired here that they might have seen as kids) there were immediate gasps and suddenly the classroom was filled with nostalgic air - I had their full attention. At the beginning I kept thinking that A.A. did it and that if she could then so could I. Before I knew it, like Kath had said happens, I got really into my presentation so much so that I didn't have to look at my flashcards except for once - I actually enjoyed it. My mates also really enjoyed it. At the end of my last presentation I handed out brochure things that I had made. So one of the girls said she thought since the presentation was about anime that I'd hand out anime CDs, Lol. If I had thought about it I probably would have made some to hand out at the end.

Later one of my mates complimented me on my presentation. She said it was very good and she felt it was 'different' than the previous two presentations I gave. In the end I just needed confidence and a suitable topic I felt most comfortable with. My thanx to Kath for the topic idea, to BW for lending the manga books (visual aids get us extra points during presentations) and the biggest thanx to A.A.T.. I wish you guys all the best in ur studies - heck in everything =D

The last exam for today was Lang. Dev. I finished in about 30 mins and spent the remaining 30 revising my answers. Inshalla those answers were correct!

Gosh, it's only 11:40 PM but I'm already ready to crash.. Thank God it's THURSDAY!

LiveJournal hates me =S

It really does.. I used to have an account on there years ago but for the life of me can't remember the password or even the correct spelling of the user name. I try to post a comment on blogs over there (that's when the server actually allows me to view pages over there.. I once couldn't access any LJ pages for a month!) and it always accuses me of being a spammer/mass commenter or something silly like that. In small letters it reads that maybe it's just my IP address and something having to do with the network so contact my service provider. HA HA. AS IF I'd even dream of wasting time on the phone with etisalat for them to tell me they don't know what's wrong with it.

Anywayz, today I was finally 'permitted' to visit LJ. I visited a few pages and among them was Kath's blog =) Brilliant writings u have there Kath (I suspect it's something that runs in the family... ;) Both u and BW are talented writers "bismilla mashalla alaykum" =P ) I was a bit worried over what topic I might try and present for speech comm mid-term exam this Tuesday. Your post "The Internet is Dying" gave me a great idea and solved my prob! I'm going to present an informative presentation about anime and how it has become part of pop culture today ::grins:: Arigatou.

What a week....

It's been a month now since I joined the university. Everyday is more interesting than the previous and I look forward to the next day (even though I still love the weekends =P ). For this whole month we haven't had much to do though. Class work wasn't that much and homework assignments were almost non-existent. So last week when 2 of the teachers decided to dump involved assignments on us (of course both choosing the same due date and that meant we only had 2 days to finish) it was like the biggest shock. Can I add here that they were both graded assignments... which meant no make-ups and no late hand-ins. When I got home that afternoon I was tempted to just get online, watch some anime and play monopoly (computer version - very addicting). I was in the process of logging on when I remembered the last graded quiz that I had the week before. I didn't bother studying before it and then ended up with a shameful mark. I didn't even have the face to tell the one person that really cares how I do at uni what I got. I had promised myself then that I wasn't going to get anything less than perfect - and why should I? It's not like this is math where I have absolutely no control.

The first day I managed to stay off the net. Just checked my mail and read some news. Did loads of work and finished one of the assignments (took 4 straight hours). The second day there was a pop quiz in Language Development class. I had been inadvertently studying for it. I was calling myself reviewing but in the end it turned out to be beneficial cuz I got 100 and 96 on the two pop quizzes. I had started the presentation assignment when I got home from school that day but felt really sick and decided I'd sleep a bit and then finish off the assignment. I ended up sleeping for 4 hours. I had no time left. The assignment was due in the morning and I knew I didn't have enough free time in the morning to do the assignment then so I stayed up all night and finished it. I really went all out with it and made brochures to hand out at the end of the presentation summarizing the main points and giving a few further tips.

After all of that, Tuesday the Doc decided I, along with 3 other girls would do our presentations on Thursday (yesterday). The Language practice instructor had a quiz prepared for us on Thursday as well. I like the instructor but she has a tendency for making mistakes. There were several in the quiz and even though I made sure to study for it I got an 8 from 10. Normally I'd just shrug it off cuz in the end I was sure I got 10 but she was going to write that in the grade book for sure and that would of course affect my grade at the end of the semester so I bugged her to see the quiz and what it was that I got wrong. She was nice about it and let me see only to find out that I did get a 10. The other girls started complaining and she told us she would fix the marks soon and not to worry cuz those were her mistakes. The speech comm presentation was next. By that time I had kinda been looking forward to it. I had decided I was going to force my nervousness away and give a good presentation. Ha ha HA.. that resolution was the first to go when it came my turn to stand and present. I immediately started reading from my papers cuz I totally forgot what the hell I was supposed to be talking about. The Doc was amused, he liked my topic and where my idea was going but he seriously wasn't going to allow a presentation to be read off of papers. So he took them and told me to start over. I stuttered, umm-ed, coughed and somehow managed to reach the end of the presentation. In the end I'm not sure what I got. Doc told me it was excellent but teachers say one thing and write something totally different when it comes time for actual marks. Is it even possible for someone to get a good mark when the presentation itself is good but the way u present it sucks? Presenting I think would count for at least 3/4s of it, IMO... I'll just have to wait and see what I get on that presentation.

There was a trip to Awafi today. Uni was taking the female students out there. I kinda wanted to go but that would have been a) too early to get up and get out on a weekend (they were leaving the school at 8) and b) that would have been too much time away from net connection for me =P

Anywayz, after I watch a bit of anime and play a round of monopoly, I shall crawl right back into bed inshalla. Sleep batteries need a serious recharge! Lol. After last week I haven't seen any one fall asleep on the bus.. It was on the bus coming home one afternoon that a girl sitting near the front fell asleep. Maybe she was snoring, I'm not sure but for whatever reason the bus driver noticed that she was sleeping and started SINGING to her - or rather about her. His voice wasn't too clear but it was obvious that he was singing and that he was singing about her sleeping. The other girls tried to stifle their laughs - of course moi was the only one that was successful ;) The girl who was sleeping woke up and was sooo embarrassed. The bus driver said she must be really tired and what do we do in the uni that makes us so tired. The girl explained that she has a part-time job in the afternoon. The bus driver said something to the effect of sleep and he'd wake her up at her stop. LOL needless to say the girl stayed awake the rest of the ride.

So, that was last week... next week promises to be interesting as well - Midterms begin on Tuesday....