Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

Outside of UoS ((Meshy alhal)).. Inside of UoS "hal" doesn't "meshy" at all. On the contrary it is quite constipated. Indeed I wonder if ole chancellor Sam still possesses the reins of UoS or is it that good ole UoS has poor Sam by the reins. Pause.

So after a few semesters, one can actually get used to making pilgrimage to the once "forbidden wing" of the sprawling UoS campus. So, hal is meshying all is well and good in the world then *bam* 4 month summer holis and UoS flings its doors open once again to welcome back returning zombies and new-blood-soon-to-be-zombies. Quite the welcome indeed. While we were all off chilling in various corners (and some out the country corners) UoS was having a free fall all dig party. Internal uni roads suddenly looked like Sharjah in its digging hey-day; complete with detour cones, red and white detour ropes and of course huge no HUGE sand mountains.

Parking was bad before, enter new fall semester with the usual staggering numbers of new bloods - and it seems each one of them was given a set of wheels (no matter how beat down those wheels may have been... I did see someone come in a Ferarri today) to bring along to uni. Get there anytime after 8 -heck probably from 7:30, and you'll find yourself contemplating parking in AUS, since parking in any place other than a designated white lined parking spot at UoS will get your car tire-locked by the ever dutiful security chaps.

There was this huge empty area behind the new library UoS has erected. They had torn up all the grass and looked like they were measuring it out for something. They didn't dig down to put in foundations and building stuff so I thought it was safe to rejoice. They were actually going to skip the stupid process they have of turning big area into huge unnecessary lavish landscaping - don't get me wrong, I love an awesome landscape but at some point acres and acres of it gets to be a bit much and hey why put up 5 date trees while suffering parking shortage when one could just put up 2 trees and more parking spaces...

My rejoicing was short lived. Their measuring ended and they started planting fresh gorgeous looking date trees. 1, 2, 3, 4,...9.. 15 O_o WTF. UoS, 3n Jad?! We need parking spots not a flipping date tree forest! Over the next few days I noticed they were carefully measuring spaces between the trees and that the trees didn't actually in fact cover the whole area. "Great!" I thought. There's hope for this place yet... or so I thought. I imagined I saw the part were cars would drive in cuz like there was a break in the trees surrounding the perimeter, but I also noticed they hadn't removed the curb from the side walk so like cars could drive there. Everyday I passed thinking they'll get to it. A shipment of huge decorative ground tiles came in. I figured maybe they'll use those for the edges or something. Ha, after a few days they started putting those down. :: Palm to face :: .. It dawned on me that they were doing some sort of memorial-ish looking area. I got a BB msg mentioning a rumor that they were constructing valet parking. I laughed, and laughed, paused and laughed again. I figured it was an insanely ludicrous rumor and nothing more.

A month later, much wiser. Should have known better. UoS committee of campus beautification (ultra ultra top secret committee that few know exist ::checks over shoulder for sniper:: ) voted against making uni student life one less hassle free- by building a multi-story car park and instead gave the ok to valet parking.. pause. pause. pause. pause.pause. UoS is a university by the way. As a matter of fact, UoS stands for University of Sharjah.

I'm not quite sure but mall, hotel and other places of rest & relaxation/entertainment are all short words. Can one really mistake a huge long word like u-n-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y for something like m-a-l-l? I didn't really think so.. Last I checked universities didn't have "valet parking". I'm starting to wonder if maybe we'll get a cinema with gold class and maybe an indoor ski ramp or a water park next semester. Lord knows they'll need a 'project' to work on once the library and memorial /valet parking area are complete..

It's kind of weird but I've suddenly realized, while looking at UoS's facebook page, that I do indeed still love UoS. Despite its many quirks (and jerks - Allah ygharbl ibleesk ya wld alshgra Doc J). No harm no foul right? Guess we'll all graduate stronger people ;)

Shot Heard Around the World

I used to hide away and only try to save myself
From falling in love or staying up on the shelf
I was afraid to walk the streets alone or by your side
Just waiting up for something that could save my life

No, there's no way out, stuck inside my head now
Headed for a break down when I should be headed for the door

'Cause I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

If we could light up every street with our cellular phones
Then maybe we can save ourselves or maybe we won't
But it doesn't even matter if we got no plan
As long as you're holding on to somebody's hand

Because a way out, stuck inside your head now
But I know we can break out if we can all just step outside the door

'Cause I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

I'm gonna kiss the sky tonight, maybe you should try it
I'm gonna learn to fly tonight and you're invited
'Cause all the things that we've become are making me so fucking numb
And this time I have had enough
Goodbye and say hello to the end of the world

I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

Disclaimer: I don't own this song. I just thought the lyrics suited my mood perfectly and wud serve as the perfect post for this sucky month. Thanx s for sharing.

Ciprimil

To what extent does the benefit of feeling every emotion outweigh not feeling anything at all? I find myself asking that same question almost every night. To love, to be happy, to feel pride in something done or joy over an accomplishment, those are good feelings. Fleeting moments which fill us with hope and optimism. But in the end, they are merely fleeting moments which come and go. Sometimes the time between those 'good' moments is prolonged and for a time nothing seems right. For some people they can carry enough hope and optimism to last them till the next time a good moment is upon them. But what happens to the others who have no such stores?

I ask myself, if given the choice - to feel or not to feel? Which would I choose? I certainly would not miss any emotions if I had the opportunity to rid myself of them. Even the ones that are supposed to be good do nothing more than cause pain. What would an emotionless person care if no one trusted them, or if people told them the truth or not. Feelings of being alone would probably go unnoticed. Things people say or the way they treated you wouldn't matter. To feel nothing would be the most awesome feeling ever. It's unfortunate a way to accomplish that has yet to be discovered. I would settle for them to be 'dulled' , as it is referred to, because as of the past couple of restless nights, I neither want emotions nor see any need for them.

Wanted

Best friend wanted..

Description:

» Honest

» Sense of humor

» Positive

» Pessimistic

» Classy

» Spontaneous

» Fun

» Free spirited

» Believes

» Outspoken

» Non-conformist

» Not afraid to show emotions

» Sincere

» Loyal

» Knows when to shut up and listen

» Knows what I'm thinking even when I don't say it

» Knows when to lecture

» Trusts me

» Feels comfortable enough to confide in me

» Comfortable with me confiding in them

» Doesn't block me out

» Takes me seriously

» Can forgive me if I wrong them

» And if they can't forgive, at least hear me out and allow me to earn back their respect

Those are the first things that come to mind, I'm pretty sure their is more.. Maybe I should start my own reality game show like Paris and Brody (Ha) - I wonder how long the winning contestants lasted as their best friends..

UOS - The Low Cost AUS

I had an interesting day today. Interesting days are rare. Partly the reason I've come to love Thursdays. They're just so full of random spontaneous events and occurrences.

I got to my beloved university early today though hot Dr. J (another post for another time) canceled all Thursday sessions until later on in the semester when we have to do presentations. I had some time to kill so I kinda bummed around in the car till my Global Marketing class at 2. So anyways, I'm not sure if I mentioned it here before but UoS had started "co-eding" some of its colleges (at first claiming financial crisis was the reason - ha I bet if this was during the time of petrol/gas prices being raised they'd blame that also.) though it was pretty obvious that was a well crafted false-hood when they added the college of business to the co-eding agenda. So yeah, in UoS's version of "co-ed" the girls are required to make pilgrimage to the guys' campus and sit in classrooms amongst fellow male mates with a wooden joke of a partition (seriously it was a JOKE it stood like barely elbow high and when one stands up the guys are right there.) and 2 entrance classrooms with signs on each entrance designating which is for the guys and which is for the girls. (I don't think anyone bothers reading them cuz we all enter from whichever door is closest regardless of what it's labeled). I remember telling my classmate the first time I saw the partition that it wasn't going to last and by the next semester we'd be sitting in the guys' laps and all would be right in the world.

How ((almost)) right I was (only off by timing). When we walked into the classroom for GM (which is on the guys' campus) the partition was goner than gone. Took a moment to figure out what was different in the classroom. I couldn't help but laugh. My classmate who walked in after me gasped and gasped then gasped again. She was fuming, raging, boiling. She kept going on about how could they do that. How could they take down The Great Wall. I told her she shouldn't be surprised considering it was only just last semester I told her they were going to tear it down and have us lapping up. Seriously, she ought to save her gasping for the co-ed mixer parties, complete with spiked punch, we'll soon be having. Then they'll make the dorms co-ed. YAYs~!

It's amusing and sad at the same time but hey its not MY personal uni so why should I give a damn if 'Chancellor Sam' leads the once reputable institution down the toilet just to prove that he, like Obama, can and has brought about 'change'. In the end (though it actually has already started and is in full motion, case in point being the group of like 10 freshies that sat around a table in the cafeteria and egged a girl on as she danced on top of said table shakira style - and yes there were male professors passing around and we have male food servers in some of the outlets) anyone with any bit of class or self respect is going to either a) send their offspring to the REAL AUS or b) send them abroad where there are real segregated unis that aren't trying to compromise their original purposes and bullshit everyone into thinking they need to co-ed.

I mean don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with co-ed unis IMHO. The problem is when an institution that was built with one purpose and is chosen by most for that purpose (like segregation) goes and decides just like that, that they need to 'modernize'. There is nothing backward about segregation of the sexes. Just look at the countless segregated colleges and universities around the world. I can think of 3 off the top of my head. Bresica (canada), another one that I forgot the name of in Australia and another in Columbia SC (USA). Their chancellors, even though they aren't even muslim, aren't running around trying to 'modernize' them by co-eding (which if you think about it is BS, cuz to modernize is to update outdated facilities or bring in new majors that may not have been previously offered in the region). People want co-ed, there are other institutions for that. Same here. People want co-ed there is no shortage of co-ed unis here. It wasn't a necessity to make UoS a co-ed institution. But like I said, it's not my uni to decide what goes and what doesn't, though, it will be amusing to see how Chancellor Sam will cover his ass when his great modernization move back fires and UoS loses what remains of its dwindling reputation.

I Love Thursdays, they are just so random ~

We used to be friends, a long time ago

They kiss and make up. That's what friends do. Or so I'm told. I mean it usually goes, I apologize for harsh tone or harsh words used when my temper flares and she accepts. She always accepts. Accepts that yes I was the one out of line or too hot blooded and that yes it's nice that I realize that and apologize.

It seems to never occur to her that my apologizing solves nothing. On average we fight almost every month and every single time it's about the same damned thing (just slightly different context). The last fight we had was a couple of days ago. I was so done. I told her I was done and she said fine. Not 'ok, because we are friends let's try and work things out as friends.' She said "fine". If she wasn't going to give a damn why should I? I told myself I wasn't going to care anymore. I mean after all it seems to be a common fault with all of my so called friends so why the hell should I be bothered by one more sharing the common fault demoninator? Against my aforementioned intentions, Z convinced me otherwise. She made good points despite one of them being that friends should always talk out their differences. I used to believe that even when I never could actually muster up the nerve to do it. Then when I finally did, that friendship completely dissolved faster than 'kool aid' in water - and apparently by social technicality the fault is placed on me. That's exactly the sorta crap that pisses me off and I feel like if that's what it comes down to who needs friends? Their was a time when I only had online friends. No real life physical there in your face friends. No work, no drama and I could honestly say I never felt that empty hallow feeling that real life friends leave. I miss those days.

I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. In the end it changes nothing and people will be people. Boredom and being alone are the two worst sucking combination.

'09

2009, Two Thousand Nine, '09.. It's almost surreal how fast it blew by. Can't really say I'm actually saddened by its departure though. I was getting tired of writing '09 anyways. Seeing as this is probably going to be the final post of '09 this would usually be the post where a blogger jots down a few resolutions for the new year. Useless. Utterly useless for me who needs a new resolution almost daily - getting out of bed in the mornings is more and more becoming a loathesome chore. Daily resolutions are my bargaining chip that make it that much easier to get out of bed. So yeah, no new years resolutions for me.
With this I wave off '09 and acknowledge '010 / 20-10 / 2010 - however it may be called with a respectful nod.

Sticky Note to '010: Don't put 100% faith or expectations in anyone but YOURSELF, cuz in the end you'll be 100% disappointed.

Change..

I wanna leap. The truth is, I'm terrified of what happens - or might happen - afterward. Not knowing scares me. I know it's impossible for any of us to know but even if I did know, I'd probably still be afraid. I'm the girl who hates change. Any and all kinds of change. The mere thought of changing even the simplest things that most people wouldn't bat an eye at nauseates me. And yet, I still cling to the very edge with this burning desire to just let go. "Change is good." I can chant a million consecutive times over to myself but in the end I always find some new reason no matter how insignificant or trifling to cling to my edge. It infuriates me that in all of these years I still haven't figured out what it is that I truly want. My actions and words are nothing more but huge contradictions of each other. At times I find it easier to pretend I have everything all figured out simply because the reality isn't something I wanna face. I point the finger in every direction but in the end it always leads to the one person I want it not to point to. It's become a cycle, I turn it over and over in my head, I don't get the answer I want, I get frustrated, and blame everyone around- be it family or friends - for my frustration. Sometimes I still naively believe that if we hadn't drifted apart I could talk to her and she'd help me figure things out. A fresh perspective and unclouded judgment was what I loved most. I still catch myself in the process of dialing her, my pride gets in the way though. She couldn't/can't be bothered to answer my calls or even afford the common courtesy to at least return them when she isn't busy, I am so not going to chase after her. But who am I kidding, in the first place she isn't obligated to do any of that and in the end it is me that needs to realize that change is going to happen whether i like it or not. No one is going to wait on the edge with me when they see their turn to leap. I understand that but always believe the next person I meet will be the one that laughs insanely while telling me it's ok not to leap and it's ok to be afraid...

To Tip, or Not to Tip

When I go to the grocery store to shop and allow the bag boy to bring the cart out to the car and load my purchases into the trunk I usually tip - that is when I allow them to 'cause most times I just take the cart out myself. It's pretty much an unwritten rule with me that those guys get whatever coinage change I received from the cashier.

When I tip for other services though, like getting air put in my car tires or getting the front windshield washed (without actually getting gas) I usually pay 5dhs in coins - never a bill. (Bills always feel too much for a tip.) It feels wrong to tip less than that though. The way I see it, to tip less than 5 is like an insult both ways. Makes the tipper look cheap and the tippee (probably not a word but who's really keeping track? Anywayz just think employer and employee.) a creature - not even human- unworthy of a decent tip.

So the night before I had gone to this full service gas station - it had everything, Mc D's, Baskin Robbins, Dunkin Donuts and the normal gas station convenience store. It was mother's car and the windshield was insanely filthy. I'm not even sure how I made it to the station in one piece but yeah I had decided surely filling the gas tank would merit the gas guy going ahead and washing the windshield. Somehow he didn't bother doing it and I forgot to ask (I was busy trying to wake up little Annie, who was asleep in the backseat, for Mc D's ice cream - which was the reason we had gone out in the first place.) So I was done paid for the gas and everything then pulled into the Mc D's drive thru before realizing that I hadn't gotten the windshield done. The drive thru line was pissy long and it was a while before we finally got our order. In which time I had deeply contemplated the windshield and tipping issue. See, if the guy had done it when he filled the tank then I wouldn't think to tip. But now I'd have to go back and get the windshield done and if it were the same guy who filled the tank then that wouldnt be a prob. No tip. But if it were a different guy - which it was, he wouldnt know that I just filled my tank there and I'd have to tip. I had already spent 72dhs in gas and only had 2 dhs in coins - I had bills but seriously I wasnt in a very tipping mood since the window should have been done when the gas tank was filled. So now I was wondering should I even bother tipping. Long story short, he got 2dhs and I drove off. It still bothers me though, evidence in fact that I'm blogging about it...

Uukh Galbi!

I haven't felt like blogging of late (obviously, lol). I've kinda been enjoying the freedom of not only being liberated from summer course but also my arch nemesis : Business Mathematics. Yes, I can hardly believe it myself (ALHAMDILLAH) that I finally - somehow- managed to pass BM. I gotta hand it to the professor though, he was a bad ass at explaining. Way better than the previous two lady professors I had. I almost wanna believe the sexist saying that male math teachers are the better of the sexes.. big exception will be made for BW - of course, cuz she had the power to make me understand lots ;) But yeah, I'm glad that's behind me.

Mostly since the end of summer course I've been playing tennis, loads of PS2 soccer (football to the rest of the world) - I found this option where u play in this like career mode and you get to create your player including his name and appearance, kinda like SIMS. So yeah I kinda got addicted to it and play everyday.

About the only productive thing I get done is attending art classes in the mornings (w3, I am so not a morning person). Its fun though. We're learning so much cool (useless) stuff. We also take Arabic calligraphy. I like that alot as well. It calms me down when I'm moody.

I've decided (though I haven't actually done anything yet) to go back to Quran classes and seriously memorize. I figure its about time I got holy and did something that would help me in the afterlife. I'm looking forward to that inshallah. I miss the feeling of doing something that actually matters.

In other news, I've been job hunting. Unemployment doesnt suit me =P I scored an interview for Sunday. Khair inshallah.

I found an interesting story about my favorite sportswear company, Adidas. And then read a very retarded story in Gulf News. I mean all these copyrighted things still make tons of money and there will always be people out there who have to have the originals of certain things and will still put money into those things even if they already have a downloaded version. (I mean sometimes I have the original of something and I go and download it from torrents or whatever so that I can use it on my comp/phone/ipod, whatever makes life easier) They should stop being such tight asses about it and live their lives.

Lastly, I'll leave you guys with a Fares Karam clip. Its music, and while I dont usually listen to music unless its like on tv (which is where I first heard this clip) or whatever, I found the lyrics so cute...

That Which We Reap

::sighs::

Pot & Kettle

She's been calling, msning and texting religiously these past couple of days. I dont answer my fone, I ignore her msnges and dont reply to her texts. I was angry, I promised that it would be a long time before I spoke to or visited her again. I'm a person who sticks to my word and it seems she must have thought I was joking cuz by the looks of her texts and msnges I think she believes I've just been busy lately - which isnt entirely untrue.

While I was packing my things for the weekend pilgrimage to the family den, I picked up a bottle of perfume. Nice smelling that one, but that is beside the point. The perfume had been a gift from her. The same her I've been ignoring for weeks now. I was wrong. Wrong in calling her a 'casual friend'. Certain things/actions move a person from being merely an acquaintance or causal friend to being more. Good friend, close friend or whatever. She had given me more than just perfume, and as for me I reciprocated with nothing. So where does that put me?

Everyone has their flaws, no one is perfect. Her 'flaw' apparently is being truthful to a fault cuz in reality what she said hurt, but it was truth. I expect that if I say something hurtful to one of my friends, whether knowingly or unknowingly, that they would forgive me. Especially if I apologize (she hasnt apologized, and I dont expect her to because one shouldnt be made to apologize for the truth). And I wonder, how can I be so unforgiving to her while expecting forgiveness from others. What kind of person does that make me?

I was ready to say I dont need ppl like that in my life, but maybe its the other way around. And if someone like her doesnt deserve me in their life, then how much more so for ppl even better than her?

I've become a horrible person and I ought to straighten out before I look to judge others. That's all I'm saying.

This probably wont make sense...

I don't think I have ever moved so fast in my life.. there was no moment of hesitation or stopping for any reason, it was purely on instinct. Once I reached my car I sat there. Sat there and waited. It was safe. Like a cocoon, protected from anything looming on the outside. I waited and watched. It wasnt long before the first unrecognizable figure made its way out. Then a few more. Then a swarm of black. Some recognizable, while others remained just figures in black. Still, I couldnt bring myself to pull off. I had to see 'them', or more specifically her. And yes I was well aware of the fact that on some level that could be considered stalking but I didnt give a damn.

Once the intial sea of black subsided I knew she'd make her grand exit. I knew her well, and she ALWAYS had to have a marked exit and entry with her personal entourage surrounding her at all times. It seemed like forever between my swift escape and her leisured exit. When she finally did, I caught my glimpse. In all these years nothing changed. A swift, protected and direct walk to her car.

I should have known better. That glance alone brought back memories I had tried my best to suppress and forget. Memories of a time when we were all friends. That was a very very long time ago. Or so it seemed. I am no longer that person I used to be and sometimes I wonder if that maybe for better or for worse. It's never easy when someone just suddenly shuts you out, no reason or at least no logical reason. Ppl grow up and grow apart, go their separate ways and somehow if u dont understand that or dont want to understand that, it leaves you in a very screwed position. I'm not going to lie to myself. I was happy back then. I mean sure, I wasnt problem free but when I look back at that time it's the sparkly happy things I remember. The only thing I've kept from that time is a watch that one of them had given me. Everyday, without fail, I put it on -even when the battery stops working and I need to get it changed. It meant alot to me and even when I dont actually think about what the watch meant I still find it a very important object to me. That group taught me alot of things and it leaves me wondering if that was their only purpose. Everything has a reason right?

Funerals are depressing, and not just because of the dead people or grieving relatives...

Once..

My eyes are on the verge of burning they are so tired. Go figure, today was math day. I can't understand the inherent fixation some teachers have with making things seem more complicated than they already are.. and some are quick to lay the blame on the gender factor in this equation but that is so not it. I mean seriously, those who say that females never teach math properly are dead wrong. Like the math professoress (not sure if that's a word but I really dont care at the moment) I had last semester was a hardnose but she was good at what she taught, left us feeling pretty secure - and yes I know that would leave some wondering why the hell was I failing it that time if she left us feeling so secure. It was my own personal fault though, nothing to do with the teacher or how she taught.

All week, or maybe more like all month, I’ve been in a pretty crappy mood. I mean for all intents and purposes I shouldn’t be.. Today wasn’t much different – or rather I should say, started the same as almost every other except it didn’t quite end as I thought it would.

S is studying some medical related major and this semester the course requires them to learn how to draw blood from patients and test it and stuff. She’s been really psyched about it for ages and I volunteered to be her first lab rat. When I was a kid, the mere thought of getting an injection at the doc’s set me off. I hated going to the doctor with a passion simply for that reason. And when it did happen, they usually had to call in the nurses to hold me down - such was my dislike for injections. I even carried on for finger sticks. I just didn’t like the thought of a sharp object piercing my skin. And yet, if someone had told me back then that I was going to voluntarily let a friend draw blood I would have said they were totally BSing.

So S asked me the night before to wear an abaya that she could access my arm easily. I obliged, though it still hadn’t set in that she was actually going to be drawing blood. All month she had been saying she was going to but like every time, something would come up. This morning I wore a ‘blood drawing friendly abaya’ and went on to uni. I don’t have class till 11 so S came and hung out for a bit while I worked some math probs. At quarter to 9 she said we’d go to the lab – and we did. The moment we set foot into the Health Science building I felt those familiar dead/dying butterflies weighing heavily in the pit of my stomach. We get into the room and its all ‘medically feeling’, then S decides to show me the dummy arm (I think she said the med students named it Sam..) they use for practice. I’ll add a pic of it to this post. I saw that and was seriously freaked. That’s when it finally set in that I was to be her FIRST… UNO... AWAL. “Dear God,” I thought. “It would be so classless and uncool if I backed out on her now.” I touched Sam’s arm (his skin had a pretty rubbery feel to it and kinda on the tough side.), and the weirdest thought came to mind. I had already decided that I’d let S do my left arm in case anything went wrong and I ended up paralyzed for life – I’d forgive her of course, but it was just in case. The thought that was on my mind was if any coach would allow me to play tennis even if I couldn’t actually toss the ball to serve and if there were any tournaments would I be allowed to play. I mean I’d have no problem receiving the whole game with no service of my own.

Ok, so by now S has gotten a key to the medical cabinet containing all the needles, tubes, gloves and all that other stuff. I watch as she gets a white tray and begins neatly piling her blood sucking paraphernalia on it. I’m hella nervous and start talking, I mean really talking cuz that’s what I do when I’m nervous. While S was preparing, a classmate of her’s comes in with another eager volunteer in tow. So S and classmate begin preparing together (they were both extra extra cheery – almost humanly impossible cheery for so early in the morning). So us lab rats waited it out, I knew I was nervous but I wasn’t quite sure about the other girl.

Finally S asks the classmate to go call the teacher (since this operation has to be supervised). The teacher arrives and has a few words with them about their preparation. She tells them they need to put more things onto their trays. Like instead of one tube, needle, syringe thingie, band-aid, and cotton, they needed like 3 of each (In case anything was to go wrong for any reason.. my heart skipped a beat, not the type of thing I wanted to be hearing after seeing Sam’s arm..)

Anyways, classmate and her first victim decided to start things off. I couldn’t really see what went on over there but after a few moments classmate was apologizing profusely to the volunteer. I prayed S had steady hands and held my breath knowing I was next. S came over, tied a tourniquet thingie to my upper arm and admired the visibility of my arm veins. The predator and its prey came to mind. Then the teacher came over, had a look and gave S some last minute pointers while S rubbed the spot with an alcohol swab. S then picked up the needle and syringe and began fixing the needle on it. Somehow during that process the cover on the needle popped off and there was this HUGE ass needle point staring me in the face. It was bloody HUGE and I might have thought I was exaggerating but I could actually see, very clearly, the hole in the tip of the needle where my blood would be sucked through. Right then I decided I couldn’t look. I turned my head, shut my eyes really tight and clenched my teeth. I told S to just tell me when it was all over.

Just when I thought she would dive in, she paused, and wiped the spot again with a swab and dabbed it dry. Then there was a sharp prick, hurt for like a nano-second. It was in and for no logical reason I decided to look. – for a split second. I watched that deep colored vein blood go into the syringe thingie. I’m not really a fan of blood so I had to turn away again. She finished, took the needle out gently and the teacher pressed a fresh cotton on.

Relief, it hadn’t hurt as much as I thought it would and thank the Lord I didn’t end up like poor Sam.

That over and done I left the med lab to the comfort of the lounge in the business building. There were clusters of students scattered about socializing, but I didn’t really know any of them despite sharing the same building. So I decided to use my iPod to kill off the remaining time till class. I was playing a pretty intense round of Vortex and listening to my favorite AlSafi tracks when I felt a hovering presence. Some one was trying to get my attention –which surprised me but it turned out to be my math classmate M.

She’s a really sweet person, though I haven’t known her that long. She only just started speaking and hanging out with me like week before last, despite the fact that we’ve been classmates for nearly 6 weeks now. But hey, I guess that’s something since I can’t really say I know any of my previous math classmates or even my current ones save M and her friend.

Anyways, we were chatting online last week and she asked me why don’t I socialize at uni more. She said, we only live once and life is boring if we don’t have someone to love in it or enjoy things with. We have to live, love and laugh. I’d say she was having a philosophical moment but that is the way she is. She’s just one of those people that make you laugh with her even when you’re feeling extremely crappy.

So we talked for a while before class and she helped me understand the concept of tax in demand and supply functions. After class we parted ways and I went to AUS. I was supposed to meet another S there and go home. (LOL funny thing is I met a totally different S there than either of the first mentioned Ss. This could get confusing. First S will have to be SR. Other S will be SK and the S I bumped into unintentionally will be SS) ok so SS and I chatted for a bit while I waited for what truly seemed like forever for SK. By the time SK finally showed up I was feeling really drained and just wanted to go home so I could dive into bed.

That didn’t exactly work out as planned. I got home and laid down, but just couldn’t sleep. So I decided maybe I’d work a few math problems. Math book was in my bag with my laptop and when I went to get it I ended up getting out my laptop, setting it up and using the net. I never made it to the math book. SK wanted me to come over to her house, which isn’t that far from mine, but I told her I couldn’t even move off the bed much less think about putting on outside clothes and going out.

I laid there for a few hours and then a little after 5, Z msged me and asked if I wanted to join her and some of our teammates to play tennis at 7:30. The thought was daunting in itself. Not only would I have to get up, but change into tennis attire AND somehow get to the club. That didn’t take much thought, I replied and politely declined the well meaning offer.

I continued laying in bed till M’s words randomly came to mind. “Live.” By definition I believe she means go out and have fun / make life worth living. “What have I become?” I’m the one always scoffing at those who can’t handle a bit of work in the mornings/afternoon while still maintaining a healthy amount of activity in the evening and yet here I was just like one of them – dying from the little bit of morning uni. Long story a bit shorter, I managed to extract myself from moping about in bed and got to the club by 7:15. It was fun. Hell it was a heck of a lot of fun. I ended up laughing so much my sides hurt.

Wow, I started this post days ago and then got so busy with uni I never got around to publishing. I suppose I hadn't finished with it, but I dont remember what else I had planned to write and I certainly don't feel like even being bothered atm.

The Hydra Executives

Lemme start with I honestly dont know what possessed me to watch the first ep of this show. I generally hate reality tv. I'm not quite sure which but it was most likely because of either the billboards they have posted on the highway going to sharjah and coming back from there, or the fact that it's a UAE reality show and I was curious to see what UAE would come up with.

That's the promo for it that I watched before I found the full eps on hollywood.tv, the show is aired on Wednesdays at 7pm and 11pm on Showtime and Infinity TV respectively but I watched the first 2 eps on their Youtube account. Just type in The Hydra Executives in the youtube search bar and the eps come up.

It wasnt really what I expected, though after the first 16 min part I was interested to see what happened next. It has this appeal, for those of you who like business. The good Doc, host of the show (with seriously heavy accent) insists it is edutaiment. Agreed on that point. End of first ep, had me a bit pissed though. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who wants to watch it, but yeah i was pretty ruffled by how things turned out. I made peace with that though, I mean there was kinda a point to it and all but I had my suspicions. So I watched the second ep and the way things turned out in there definitely didnt make me feel any better. It feels like the judging is a bit biased - though admittedly I'm a bit biased myself... I'll be waiting for the rest of the eps now, I definitely want to see how this all unfolds in the big picture.

You Touch It, You Buy It

Here's an interesting article I stumbled across on yahoo.com. The article was basically pointing out the connection between potential buyers and how touching/feeling/holding the potential purchase actually heightens the chance of the buyer making the purchase.

Makes me wonder. I've driven alot of cars. Different cars. I can envision myself with a number of them. Whether it's a car I've been dreaming of, or something that looks cool, is fast and has excellent handling. At any rate, in all my wildest fantasies I've never pegged myself to be a Camry type. Such a generic, standard issue car. Borderline boring is what I might have said about it if asked last week. So little brother's usual car is in for servicing and the Camry is sorta a fill in till he gets his ride back. Little brother travelled a few days ago and asked me to drive him to the airport so he handed me the keys to the Cam. At first it was a bit awkward, about a couple of minutes to adjust to the handling and feel of everything. Different from other brother's Mazda and definitely different from mother's Previa. And yet it still had that feel, or rather, Toyota flavor about it. By the time I got him to the airport I felt more comfortable in terms of the overall driving feel. It was late though, so I just went home without really taking it for a more indepth spin. The following day I opted to take it to sharjah. Nothing like taking a car out on that long stretch of highway to put it to the ultimate test. I was reasonably impressed. Despite it being a cheap Toyota car it was fitted with one of those beep once to let you know when you've gone over 120kmph but once you hit 121/122 it goes silent and just flashes a little light saying 120kmph. (I cant stand the cars that have to alarm once you hit 120 and proceed to get louder the faster you go) It did 140 pretty smoothly, not much noise or shaking - as some cars like to do if you go a bit fast. Climbing to 160 was just as smooth, didnt leave you feeling like it was straining to maintain that speed. It was more like "I'm at your service, would you like more power?". I mean sure it wasnt reeking power like the Lexus but it was doing a pretty impressive job for a Camry. So I was cruising at a comfortable 160, nothing more nothing less. Suddenly I hear this noise like a helicopter was trying to land. For a few seconds it got louder, and I was wondering if it was really from the cam or not. Slowing up some, the noise eased up a bit then I was 100% sure it was from the Cam. I was thinking what the hell? My first thought was that there was some prob in the engine or something. Pulled over to find one of the back tires had blown. Totally shredded, looked like wolverine had taken his claws to it or something. (Pretty ironic since just a few weeks back I had been telling my mom and bro that I needed to learn how to change a tire since it was something I dont know how to do and would come in handy one day.) So I'm sitting there at the Dubai-AD border with a shredded tire waiting for my bro to come and fix it, and I'm like "Wow, our first day out and this is what you do to me?!" After like an hour or 2 of waiting the tire was changed and I was back on the road. I felt pretty sour at the car but I carried on with my day and by the return ride home I had decided to name it. Misty. Dont ask.

The car has definitely seduced me. I'm thinking to ask can I keep her - or at least get her little brother Aurion (IMO Aurion is the classier sibling). The power of Touch & Buy... Perhaps.

D is for DemonSpawn

I'm not sure which I hate more; ingrates, snitches or those who don't have the balls to behave like normal people.

Having said that,

My stepbro is an ass.

It is definitely to his good fortune (and he ought to thank his Lord a million times over) that I am bound by my very own personal code of ethics and can't swipe my fist across his face simply for being a most detestable creature.

'Yay' world.

For the first few moments after one wakes up (or has been woken up) before reality comes barging in, there is this complete and total zen like peace. Unawareness. Blissful ignorance. Whatever you choose to call it, its there.

I was disturbed from my morning slumber prematurely. I had no intentions of seeing morning and had hoped to wake up sometime after 1pm. Instead, at only 10am, I found myself sitting at the edge of my bed wondering where those first waking moments went. From the second I opened my eyes I felt like crap. No particular reason for that feeling stood out but I was sure that once the sleep fog cleared from my head I'd know right away. Today's much anticipated and talked about date came to mind. Its 'January 1st'. New year. A day celebrated world wide by mankind irrespective of sex, race or religion - and yeah some may argue that certain religions/nations dont actually celebrate or recognize the Gregorian new year but they still congratulate each other on their own respective new year dates. Either way, I don't understand the celebrating/congratulating. Maybe if it were done to mark Dec. 31st/last day of their respective calendars and people were celebrating having made it thru another year or having had accomplished greatness in the year passed or something of significance worthy of being celebrated. Then maybe I might vaguely understand it. But as it stands I honestly don't see what the hell there is to celebrate? And no, I'm not saying this with Gaza in mind. I'm saying this wondering if everyone got a divine memo, to which I was excluded from receiving, stating beforehand that this coming year, or any other past/coming years, will be a year of great achievements, victories and etc. To be frank, I see no apparent reason why the changing of a year should be acknowledged any more than the change of a second, minute, hour, day, week or month. So a year is longer than all of those aforementioned, 'yay', what of it? Decades are longer and still centuries are even longer than all, I dont see anyone celebrating those. So I ask again, what the hell is there to celebrate?

As one kind, mankind, what exactly is being celebrated? Did someone receive credible info that in this 'new year' all the warring parties of the world would agree on peace? [It's totally not impossible. Take palestine for example. Instead of all the insane terrorism both sides are guilty of, why not just divide the whole land into three equal parts. A part for those nationalistic jews, a part for the nationalistic arabs and lastly a part in the middle for the innocent/unbiased/nonprejudiced from both sides, who can live in a peaceful - or at least tolerant manner. Next, build up huge ass walls to keep the volatile nationalists apart. And of course build or give them the means to build up equal facilities, ie hospitals, schools and etc. Very simple solution to a very screwed up problem that should have been handled decades ago.]

Maybe world peace isn't the reason for celebrating, maybe a solution to world hunger/poverty was found. [ You know like all of the better off countries pitching in and effectively eliminating that problem. And yes, please spare me the impossibilities of it, because with all the technological advances, modernization and globalization or whatever the filp we wanna call it, that has been reached in this day and age, surely a solution can be found that enables the giving of the most basic human sustenance.]

So neither peace nor poverty's ends are being celebrated, what else is there that I may have missed? I mean warring and poverty are top world issues aren't they? And if the world isn't celebarating the solution to either of those what else is out there worthy of collective merry making?

For all the happy sparkly optimism attached to every new year I can honestly say I am so not feeling it. I wasnt feeling it last year (which was technically the beginning of this week, Dec. 28, 29, 30 or 31) and inspite of the changing date my mood did not feel obliged to make a miraculous 360 turn to gaiety.

I ought to have curtailed the amount of blog reading I do after the time I had a really really weird dream which basically took everything I had read in that week and meshed it with a few prominent plots of shows I had been watching and then put me in the middle of all of that. I almost feel sorry for the fact that blog reading has become like a hobby to me. So many interesting thoughts, opinions and in general randomness that you wouldn't ordinarily get the chance to hear from strangers you happen to passby. Reading comments is an added bonus. People's reaction to what has been written and posted. I usually find all of that very amusing, but lately Gaza and the New year have made for very grim readings. The top 3 subtopics that stem from Gaza and 2009 are:

The arab world doing nothing for the Palestinians
Shaykh Mohd bin Rashid cancelling official new years celebrations in Dubai

and the most depressing of them all:

Muslims being terrorists and 'enjoying the misery of non muslims'.

Muslim blogs are checkered with remarks on how the arab world and its leaders are turning a blind eye on our Palestinian brethen but has anyone really stopped and gave thought to that? Has anyone thought that maybe, just maybe the arab leaders really wanna do more than just send food and medical supplies? No one likes to see innocents being massly slaughtered but truth of the matter is, the Israelis have labeled the Gazanians as the instigators of this current massacre and just mentioning that Hamas is holed up amongst them gives the Israelis automatic American approval to do as they please. So scenerio #1 sees a few arabs, hundreds, maybe even thousands, form a little unofficial battalion and rush over to Gaza to fight against the Israelis. Of course, in their minds they are making 'jihad' - which would be wrong since there is no jihad unless their is a leader, and not just any leader but one leader whom all the muslims agree is the leader and follows. That seems like forever from now, given the way muslims cant agree on anything. The outcome of that unorthodoxed jihad would only end with more trouble. The US would be able to label the aid of the innocent Gaza people as helping the Hamas and then they'd lay blame on the origin countries of aforementioned jihadists, which would most likely end in the US justifying attacking those said countries 'to rid the world of terrorists'. And you know what? The world would conveniently forget it was the Israelis who started a wildly disproportionate retaliation on Gaza in the first place.

Scenerio #2: I had a lengthy bit to write in defense of the arab leaders but I think their actions speak louder than words. After all, weren't they there for Afghanistan and Kuwait when they were attacked by the Russians and Saddam? I have great faith that they will also come thru for the palestinians when the time is right - or in other words, when more good than harm will come of a more proactive approach. At any rate I may be wrong in thinking, but I believe a leader's first duty is to the citizens of his country and the palestinian president ought to get his folk in check because all of those random fractions going off on their own little rogue suicide bombing/killing assignments and killing innocent Israeli woman and children arent helping peace arrangments. Even in a real war, muslims arent supposed to harm woman and children of their opponents.

The second-highest-bitched-about-topic across the blogsphere was of Shaykh Mohd cancelling 'official' new year celebrations in Dubai. I've already vented my stance on NYCs so no need to state that again. As for the whiners, they still got to party right into the NY from what I heard - and even if they hadn't Abu Dhabi isnt that far and NYCs certainly wasnt cancelled here. [Instead Shaykh Khalifa ordered the gov. depts not to charge palestinians immigration and residency fees.] Other whiners whined that SM isn't doing enough and that the cancellation was simply a cover for covert intentions, some even saying he should sell some of his assets and send the money to Gaza. Can't people just be happy he showed respect for the Gaza ppl in his decree [I'm sure he sent or is going to send humanitarian aid to them as well since the UAE always sends out lots of that regardless of the country being affected]. Seriously though, those same ppl accusing him of his lack of 'doing' would have had grand mal seizures if he had went ahead with NYCs and they had a display of fireworks that rivalled those of the Atlantis opening. There's just no pleasing some people. My last word on that subject as a whole: 'ah salute'.

The most damningly depressing reads are by far those blogs/comments stating that muslims in general are terrorist and revel in the infliction of calamity on non muslims. Totally untrue. For one, those claiming to be muslims and going around shooting ppl, blowing up places and spilling the blood of innocents are definitely not following the religion properly - if they can still even be considered as part of the religion. That other bit about muslims rejoicing at the mishaps of non muslims is also very wrong. If that were the case, why were arab units over in china providing aid the last time it was hit by a major earthquake? And weren't they also over in the tsunami hit countries giving aid to those afflicted by the disaster? Now that I think about it, there probably isnt much convincing a normal muslim could do to show the general people of the world that religion is not responsible for individuals who decided to go rogue and do things unsanctioned by their religious affiliation.

I'm already tired of 2009, I'm going back to bed.

The Devil

Hearing my 16 year old bro sing his rendition of Timberlake's Sexy Back is a friggin nightmare! I seriously dont understand why his mother doesnt rip him to shreds for it. Goddamn him.

Anyways, I finished the last ep of Maou (The Devil) tonight. A masterpiece, I bet Shakespeare himself would be impressed! Toma and Ohno did a superb job portraying their roles. I'm not going to say anything more here, wouldnt want to spoil it for anyone, but I will say that I recommend it highly =)

Made In America

"What the flip?!?!" Is the first thing that came to mind when I saw the ad. Who in their bloody right mind would pay $3.99 to smell like a freakin burger, let alone a whopper???

"The scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." is how Burger King is advertising their new men's perfume. And here I thought the end of the world was near when I had to sign in to the oldest MSN messenger because the net has been acting like an ass due to "cable trouble in the mediterranean".. But back to the subject of seductive scents, I truly pity the male who goes out and secures a bottle of that stuff. Wallah what do they see us females as?! Awina we're some carnivorous animals that can be seduced by a male that smells of spray-on artificial beef patty (Not to say that we'd go for a guy that smells like real beef patty either).

The maker, campaigner and buyer of such a retarded product should all be shot.. Or better yet, doused in their ingenuity and placed in some lion/tiger/meat eating animal infested safari. Haha let them seduce the wolves and the vultures can have the leftovers!