Don't Mock the Karak..

Contradiction:

Pronunciation / kän-trə-ˈdik-shən/, n.

The overwhelming sense that I've been robbed, betrayed or violated on some pathological level - and yet I feel thankful, grateful even, to the offender.

This sort of thing usually begins with me minding my own business, innocently going thru my surfing rituals. A name, more like a title carrying a badge of prestige, catches my eye. First instinct, ignore it, just let it go. That might work for a minute or two.. an hour even. The whining and pleading gets louder until I find myself pushed to the brink of insanity. Curiosity has me completely and utterly wrapped around its thumb and finally I turn to my saviour, the prince of searches, Google.

This time around 'professional curiosity' had me putting No Time for Goodbye under the 'scope. The article had described it as a truely masterful work of art that held the reigns to numerous bestseller lists. I had no choice but to hunt it down and get a look. I was happy to find it was part of amazon's Search Inside program which allows eager folks the chance to gaze upon just enough greatness to whet their appetites.

What I saw that day, bedazzled me. The most simplistic style and words employed for the task of telling the alleged bestselling tale. The words spoke out to me as if imploring me to relieve them of a burdenous secret. Lucky for me I didnt have to wait long. Mother happened to be going to the bookstore to hunt down some literary works she'd been craving so she offered to pick up that book for me while there.

The day I intended to start reading it turned out to be the same day mother took the liberty to promise that I, yes ME not her, would take the kids all out to the zoo and a place called Discovery Center in shj. All day affair in other words. It was fun, but it meant that I only got to read a few pages of the book. I got to finish the prelude. It was good. Strong start, but it left me with this nagging feeling. He had innovated. It was only the prelude and yet there was his gleaming creativity. I imagined the feelings running thru my veins were the same Christian Bale's character in American Psycho felt in the business card scene. It was ruffling to say the least. Abandoning the beguiling piece, I spent some quality time catching up with past episodes of Life. It wasnt until last night when I went to go work on my own prelude that I picked up NTFG again. I brought it to learn and learn I shall!

By 2am I was peeved. The book was like a slap to the face. This guy, Mr. Barclay, he was breaking every single rule in Novel Writing 101. From grammar to sentence structure, and if that wasnt enough his characters were urkingly weak. I wont even go into the details of his male characters suffering from a serious lack of testosterone on top of being chronically stupid. At that point I would have gone on to bed but realized I had gotten halfway thru the book and had only just really started it that night. (I'm usually a really slow reader so that was a big thing for me) I decided to stay on and see how far I could get.

I watched the digits on my clock change from 3:59 to 4:00 am. I wasnt 'peeved' anymore, no. I was freakin DISGUSTED and pissed out of my mind. I was about 50 pages short of finishing the 400+ paged book and the only thought pleading an answer in my mind was "How in bloody hell had that book scored 'Bestseller'?" I had to break then and there, book in hand, to have a look online and see who exactly authorized that right. I mean my God, I'm not above reading crap, especially if I know in the beginnning that the author was aiming for crap cuz then at least its entertaining. This though. "Oh Boy." To quote my grandpa's famous words of astonishment. It was an eye opener. I couldnt help but think it was a guy thing. I mean till I realized I've read some pretty great stuff written by guys before [Ludlum, Grisham, Crichton - and even though I've outgrown Pike and Stine they still had pretty good literary contributions]. Ok, so not a guy thing, just a Barclay thing. I could barely turn the pages anymore. In the end I just prayed and slept. I didnt wake up till well after 12. I finished the remainder of the book and just stared at it. Somewhere between the disdain and regret I was feeling for the book I had just pulled an all nighter for I felt this light of shining truth. I mean the most obvious of all facts was that if ppl's standards were so low as to celebrate such an affront to modern literature then hey they were gullible enough to accept any sheemot rubbed between two covers.

As much as I can complain about the book and how much of a disappointment it was, I have to concede that I learnt some pretty important things from it. I think the most important of which was plot structure. I mean I guess that was always important but I always find I get a little lazy by the end of whatever I am writing. Sometimes I give it a hasty ending or go with the first few hundred things that come to mind instead of waiting for a better plot element to come along. [Lesson one from Barclay: Stong plot/concept and see it through to the end.] I'm pretty sure I did it with POA. That was the reason I still havent re-read it in its entirety. Solely for fear of finding plot holes or weak elements. I'm going to re-read it though, soon, and I'm not going to be ashamed of what I find either. [Lesson two from Barclay: Baby steps. Take it slow and easy, no need to rush.] Cover each bit meticulously, air tight sealing as far as elements and grammar is concerned. I do that most times but now I'll triple and quadruple check till my piece is of sacred grade. [Lesson three from Barclay: ....hmm, there was a third lesson.. I smell mac and cheese, intoxicating carbs. Maybe I'll remember the third later and edit it in or something..]

I need coffee! A caramel spiked French Vanilla latte...::sighs:: mother has become so enamored with Lipton's Chai-latte that she forgot to buy real coffee.. ::more sighs::

Fleshy Part of the Thigh

I've been working on my new novel lately, though not as often as I'd like. Everytime I put pen to paper I get ambushed by a most annoying nagging feeling. Something wasn't right. It was like cooking and tasting what you've created only to find that something was off and it didnt quite taste as you were expecting. I absolutely abhor that feeling when I'm writing. I've already tossed out 2 of my previous drafts. This time around I like the idea and didnt really wanna resort to another chucking so I decided that until I figured out what was wrong, there was no point in moving forward. The idea of going over my previous works presented itself in such a way that I felt I could actually put aside my fear of reading POA-post publishing. I mean after all, I usually do go over my pieces after they are written but only with proofreading for grammar/spelling mistakes in mind. I never go and re-read them with objectivity on my agenda. Lol, so I'm going over my things and some of them it's like "What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this??" but I did realize what it is that I may be missing... Character development. Sometimes referred to as 'fleshing out the character'. Yeah I know that sounds like one of the most basic things that every writer thinks of first. The thing is when I first started making up stories to tell my little brother they were usually in the form of a play with his action figures (spider man, batman, ninja turtles etc.) or like when he got older and I'd borrow characters from shows that we watched and create a sort of fanfic version of them. In both cases we knew the characters already and all that remained was to add scenerios or a bit of character twisting to them.

I came across this site yesterday that suggested a pretty interesting way to go about character development. It suggested that each character be fully described on a page or two and set aside. From physical appearances to personality and preferences. Jot it all down like you'd do with the general or chapter outlines. Doing this would make the character more solid, relevant. I love the idea. In general I am obsessed with organizing things, though only a select number of things, writing is one of them. I already had a character list. I guess I'll just have to add a bio for each one now. It would work out good considering I was planning to make a webpage for this novel and I could now add the individual character bios to it.

So I guess I know what's on my agenda for today, besides watching South Park and Brothers & Sisters ;) Gosh, it's going to be so hard killing characters off now when you know they like fig juice and sleeping on soft hay in the corner of their cottage!

I LOVE UoS!

How much I missed it here. I'm in Sharjah for now and the first place I decided to go was my beloved uni. Not sure which home exactly it is but between Uni and the Club they both fall in the 1st and 2nd home categories. Ha, I'm beginning to believe that any place the family isn't in is home, and you know something.. I think I just might go with that. I only feel truly at peace when I know I am in a place where they are no where around.

Actually Sharjah feels pretty lonely these days. Hardly anyone is around (I mean aside from random folk). I still miss being here though. It wouldn't be a crime to entertain myself alone in the absence of the interesting ppl that are missing. Mother decided to extend her stay. She believes that somehow H might change her mind and come back with her... Maybe if hell were to freeze over, or a thousand years passed or if I suddenly became a billionairess over night (working on that =P) but at any rate I suppose she'll have to find that out for herself the hard way since she wants to pretend to be clueless to H's hints.

I almost wish I were taking summer courses. Ha, I probably should have enrolled. I guess though I have been using my time kinda wisely up in the prison. I've been plagued by new book ideas. I had one for a children's book while in the shower (Don't ask...I am in no control over where a new idea pops up at). I got out and wrote it up within 24hours. I found an illustrator for it as well though I'm not sure if it's the one I'll go with. I like her work but she might be too pricy. As for other projects I had an idea for a fantasy book and a skate-lit. Both I started but decided to put them on hold cuz they are about royalty and I wanted something from a different vein (Princess of Arabia is about royalty). Hehe my lips are sealed as far as the two current projects I'm working on. If I can keep to schedule they should be done sometime in July... I am horrible with schedules ;) So I guess they'll be done when they get done.

I told one of my classmates I'd meet her at 12 and it's already 11:58 so I guess I better get my arse moving....

Celebration Time..

As my favorite Freej character Um Khammas would say: “Yalla ya chabab! Barkooli Barkooli!” LOL

After many long hours, employment in the worst school known to mankind (MPS in case any of u guys might miss-guess) and a handful of disappointments, frustration, stress etc. I, El Hazard, have finally FINISHED my project.. And yes I have a big cheesy grin stuck on my face..

In other news, I finally stood up and gave a speech in Speech Comm. (Lol, awina I stood up of my own accord, HA, the teacher realized I hadn’t given any speeches and it was already the third week so he told me to get up there.) I had to speak about something meaningful to me.. a person kept coming to mind but he specifically said he wanted an object. I thought and thought and finally decided that it must be my laptop. Then we had to state reasons why the object is meaningful to us. I thought some more.. “Well, because my grandfather bought it for me.. It signifies my hard work in high school and I chat with meaningful people on it. (I nearly died when I lent it to Maria when her comp was down. She only borrowed it for a day and a night.. not sure I could go on living with out it!) I kept my finger tips pressed together so my hands wouldn’t visibly shake in front of the whole class, I shifted from foot to foot every so often to give the impression that I wasn’t nervous… To tell the truth though my speech was probably the crappiest and was probably filled with more ‘umm’ s than the whole class put together. By the end when the teacher was asking questions I didn’t feel as nervous as when I first stood so maybe that’s a good sign. I definitely feel I might do a bit better the next time I’m called inshallah. (Wishful thinking maybe…)

OOOOOOOOOh I nearly forgot, there is yet another reason for celebration… This post marks my 100th post mark. Yipeeyi Yo Kai Ya......

I really like going to school now (even if I'm all alone) but I still have an undying love for the weekends. I guess in the end my lazy side is just below the surface.

That feeling...

Haven't felt this way in a while.. irritation, depression, anger. A mixture of all three and more. Most definitely more, there's things bothering me that don't exactly fit into any of those 3 catergories. Take wanting to play tennis. Doesn't exactly fit under any of those headings - although maybe it's partly why I feel irritated.

I am glad haj is winding down (I think I have just about given myself an ulcer from worry) inshalla what remains of it will be uneventful and they'll ("she'll" but can't very well only wish for her safe return...well I can but you guys get what I mean.) return back safely. Lol Gulf News and the online Saudi papers will be happy. They were probably alarmed over the sudden increase in bandwidth being taken up by my multiple visits every few minutes since haj started.

I seriously can't believe my own stupidity! I've been trying since when to get to uni and then I get so close as to fill the application and all only to find out I need 1 short of a million stamps from multiple places back in the States. I go through the trouble of finding out what the hell I have to do to get those stamps. Lucky for me it only needed a big enough chunk of money and my school back in the States would do everything for me - I just had to send back the Diploma.

LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY! HA HA -not. I am a DAMN BAKA. Somehow I managed to totally forget about the whole thing and now it's already the 1st and the deadline to hand in all the necessary docs for the application to be accepted was the 30th (technically the 28th of Dec.). I might have been able to pull this off if I were able to get an official grant for more time (diploma procedure is going to take a month and a half from the time my school actually gets it). I guess I should just say sayanara to the idea of getting into the uni this semester as well =C

All of the above are sources of irritation but the biggest source of course orginates from the source of all things evil... if u guessed MPS kudos to u. It irritates me to the point of severe anger that those pretenders could get away with all that they have been getting away with. It's not right. If there is one thing I can't stand it's a pretender - even more so a successful pretender (successful in their pretending). Mother Supreme would be really screwed if I quit now with the exams coming up. Ha ha if she only knew what I have planned for her and the rest of the pretenders over there she'd rather all her staff walk out on her in the middle of an exam. This month we only have to go back for 2 weeks from the 7th till the 18th for exams- it's the owner's worst nightmare. The fact that he has to pay a full month's pay to the teachers and they haven't worked a full month just kills him. (Guy has an overly protective unhealthy obsession with his money. No joke.) I'd love to see the look on his face when he finds out that one of the teachers he had to pay a month's pay for only 2 weeks' work skipped out on him... priceless :: evil grin::

That aside, I've yet to get Khadija's (that teacher from hell) last name. Her last name is definitely crucial to the surprise I'm preparing them (any of you who know me well know my 'surprises' are always well tailored to the recipient ::very evil grin:::.) I think I could handle that place for 2 weeks more..

On another note, I almost have enough funds for my project. Sheesh this project better come out good and worthy of the headache it's been giving me!

I need sleep so I'll shut up for now...