Don't Mock the Karak..

Contradiction:

Pronunciation / kän-trə-ˈdik-shən/, n.

The overwhelming sense that I've been robbed, betrayed or violated on some pathological level - and yet I feel thankful, grateful even, to the offender.

This sort of thing usually begins with me minding my own business, innocently going thru my surfing rituals. A name, more like a title carrying a badge of prestige, catches my eye. First instinct, ignore it, just let it go. That might work for a minute or two.. an hour even. The whining and pleading gets louder until I find myself pushed to the brink of insanity. Curiosity has me completely and utterly wrapped around its thumb and finally I turn to my saviour, the prince of searches, Google.

This time around 'professional curiosity' had me putting No Time for Goodbye under the 'scope. The article had described it as a truely masterful work of art that held the reigns to numerous bestseller lists. I had no choice but to hunt it down and get a look. I was happy to find it was part of amazon's Search Inside program which allows eager folks the chance to gaze upon just enough greatness to whet their appetites.

What I saw that day, bedazzled me. The most simplistic style and words employed for the task of telling the alleged bestselling tale. The words spoke out to me as if imploring me to relieve them of a burdenous secret. Lucky for me I didnt have to wait long. Mother happened to be going to the bookstore to hunt down some literary works she'd been craving so she offered to pick up that book for me while there.

The day I intended to start reading it turned out to be the same day mother took the liberty to promise that I, yes ME not her, would take the kids all out to the zoo and a place called Discovery Center in shj. All day affair in other words. It was fun, but it meant that I only got to read a few pages of the book. I got to finish the prelude. It was good. Strong start, but it left me with this nagging feeling. He had innovated. It was only the prelude and yet there was his gleaming creativity. I imagined the feelings running thru my veins were the same Christian Bale's character in American Psycho felt in the business card scene. It was ruffling to say the least. Abandoning the beguiling piece, I spent some quality time catching up with past episodes of Life. It wasnt until last night when I went to go work on my own prelude that I picked up NTFG again. I brought it to learn and learn I shall!

By 2am I was peeved. The book was like a slap to the face. This guy, Mr. Barclay, he was breaking every single rule in Novel Writing 101. From grammar to sentence structure, and if that wasnt enough his characters were urkingly weak. I wont even go into the details of his male characters suffering from a serious lack of testosterone on top of being chronically stupid. At that point I would have gone on to bed but realized I had gotten halfway thru the book and had only just really started it that night. (I'm usually a really slow reader so that was a big thing for me) I decided to stay on and see how far I could get.

I watched the digits on my clock change from 3:59 to 4:00 am. I wasnt 'peeved' anymore, no. I was freakin DISGUSTED and pissed out of my mind. I was about 50 pages short of finishing the 400+ paged book and the only thought pleading an answer in my mind was "How in bloody hell had that book scored 'Bestseller'?" I had to break then and there, book in hand, to have a look online and see who exactly authorized that right. I mean my God, I'm not above reading crap, especially if I know in the beginnning that the author was aiming for crap cuz then at least its entertaining. This though. "Oh Boy." To quote my grandpa's famous words of astonishment. It was an eye opener. I couldnt help but think it was a guy thing. I mean till I realized I've read some pretty great stuff written by guys before [Ludlum, Grisham, Crichton - and even though I've outgrown Pike and Stine they still had pretty good literary contributions]. Ok, so not a guy thing, just a Barclay thing. I could barely turn the pages anymore. In the end I just prayed and slept. I didnt wake up till well after 12. I finished the remainder of the book and just stared at it. Somewhere between the disdain and regret I was feeling for the book I had just pulled an all nighter for I felt this light of shining truth. I mean the most obvious of all facts was that if ppl's standards were so low as to celebrate such an affront to modern literature then hey they were gullible enough to accept any sheemot rubbed between two covers.

As much as I can complain about the book and how much of a disappointment it was, I have to concede that I learnt some pretty important things from it. I think the most important of which was plot structure. I mean I guess that was always important but I always find I get a little lazy by the end of whatever I am writing. Sometimes I give it a hasty ending or go with the first few hundred things that come to mind instead of waiting for a better plot element to come along. [Lesson one from Barclay: Stong plot/concept and see it through to the end.] I'm pretty sure I did it with POA. That was the reason I still havent re-read it in its entirety. Solely for fear of finding plot holes or weak elements. I'm going to re-read it though, soon, and I'm not going to be ashamed of what I find either. [Lesson two from Barclay: Baby steps. Take it slow and easy, no need to rush.] Cover each bit meticulously, air tight sealing as far as elements and grammar is concerned. I do that most times but now I'll triple and quadruple check till my piece is of sacred grade. [Lesson three from Barclay: ....hmm, there was a third lesson.. I smell mac and cheese, intoxicating carbs. Maybe I'll remember the third later and edit it in or something..]

I need coffee! A caramel spiked French Vanilla latte...::sighs:: mother has become so enamored with Lipton's Chai-latte that she forgot to buy real coffee.. ::more sighs::

A Random Rant

I used to feel very strongly against those who commit suicide - USED TO being a key phrase. Lately I've been finding my sympathies leaning towards them. Before, I always felt that it was the ultimate in giving up when someone chose suicide, it just seemed cowardly. I no longer believe they do it out of cowardice but for shame of not being able to live up to the expectations (even if they aren't grandiose) of those close to them. They may try, however meek their efforts may seem but falling short on a repeated basis not only blows their self-esteem but freakin' hurts to fail in front of those who actually believed in them and showed support. Then, to make things worse, there is no shortage of people who are naturally talented at whatever they set their minds to and they just add to the pain with questions as to why it is so hard for the other person. It would be their worst nightmare to wake up in the other person's shoes and find that no matter how much effort they put into something, they still end up failing.

I think the vacation was both, too long and too short. Too short because I was sick with the flu for 3/4s of it and too long cuz my brain feels like a pile of shat on mush. I seriously didn't feel like coming to uni yesterday. Didn't feel much in the mood for it today either, but since I only have one class today - which happened to be an exam - I felt I could make it through alive. Praise the Lord the exam was pretty easy, I've got enough frustration to contend with.

Tennis coach has become quite the moody whore lately. She went on a streak where she completely ignored me. I can't tell you guys how Ffffffff-ing happy that made me, no joke really. Unfortunately it didn't last, she decided to be a kiss ass so she could inform me about the "Fun Day" tennis tournament coming up. She claims all the "team members" should be present for that tournament. I am bloody tired of the freakin thing. Firstly, we have to PAY for it. That really pisses me off, cuz it's not like ppl from outside clubs or teams come to play us, we pay and play each other! Our own team mates, with the exception of one or two ladies from outside. The two ladies would gladly come and play anytime anyone calls them anyways so it's nothing so special to play them in this "tournament". When we finish you'd think they'd do something classy and pool the money we all paid together and hand it to the 1st place winner. Ha, instead we get a crappy semi-cardboard paper saying we "participated" in the fun day - not even what rank we got. Till last month we were getting these retardedly huge sweat bands for our wrists (I never kept any of them). Last month we got cups with a picture of a tennis ball and raquet or net and Sharjah Ladies Club printed around the rim- amazing gift for running ur ass all over the freakin court yeah? Very, um, useful but I honestly don't give a flying crap what I drink my coffee out of as long as it has a handle and no chips/cracks. So when she asked last time we went, who was coming, I was among the ones who weren't coming. She tried to tell me, as if I freakin care, that my absence would go on her permanent record. I surprisingly only answered "ok" to that rather then telling her what she could do with the bloody record. Today will most likely be my last day on the team unless she changes the retarded 6:30 time on wednesdays. It's freakin impossible to make it there at 6:30 sharp under normal circumstances. Even with flying through traffic dodging and weaving in and out of lanes at complete and total reckless speeds I can't make it at 6:30. The last time I was 5 freakin mins late and she was throwing a tantrum and when I tried to explain myself I had to hear the I-don't-respect-her lecture. Respect my ass. I respect the respectable not douchebag, washed up, sorry excuses of a coach like her. I seriously won't be sorry to quit. On the contrary I'd probably go more often and really improve my game - without Madam Romania breathing fire down my bloody neck. That would be a grade A smack in the face for her, ha.

Who says writing doesn't help? True it doesn't help for all problems but right now I feel I got a load off.

I wish I could find the time to read without feeling guilty about it... No, correction; I wish I was a 'faster' reader so I could read a book and not have it take days to finish. I so want to read Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I stumbled across a wiki article on it while looking for something else. Reading the article made it seem so inviting! Two more months... Thats the time I have left till we are off for summer vacation, I hope my marks are good and I don't find myself too moody to read during the vacation inshallah.

My math book is beside me screaming my name, I should study - it's why I came to the library after all....

Alice in Wonderland

I’m glad I get off early on Tuesdays now. I don’t think I would have been able to handle any more and I’m definitely sure I would have lost it today if I had marketing and ended up missing the bus and having to stay till 5 which would mean I wouldn’t get home till 6:30.

I managed to miss my IT class this morning. I think I may have 5 absences from that class now, 7 is the limit we can miss before we aren’t allowed to sit for the final exam. Pray I don’t reach that limit, I wouldn’t be happy to have to repeat IT next semester for something so stupid.

Management class was interesting, as usual, today. The professor talked about planning and how managers rely on it to accomplish many amazing things that wouldn’t have been achieved without prior planning. He talked very highly of Alice in Wonderland and now out of curiosity I have to go read it. [la wallah, a business professor and author of management books recommending a kids’ book of course I have to know why ^_^]. I remember seeing the cartoon as a kid but I was really really young. I just remember a talking rabbit, the purple cat and of course the blonde haired Alice. I remember nothing of the plot or what it was supposed to be about. I even recall feeling bored as I watched it cuz I didn’t understand what was going on – I guess that’s how young I was lol. I found it online though at Project Gutenburg. I really love that site, it always saves me when I get the sudden urge to read something I should have read years ago like the rest of my peers (or even my kid sister!). Anywayz here’s the link.. As for management class, I’ll of course blog about it on the Course Diary Blog.

An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish

OMG, It's been a while since I've read something amazing like this essay: An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish. Of course there were a few things the author Bertrand Russell mentioned that I wholly disagreed with, but in general I share his opinion and feel the same about the 'human race'.

I was taken in by his first opening paragraph which reads:

"Man is a rational animal-so at least I have been told. Throughout a long life, I have looked diligently for evidence in favor of this statement, but so far I have not had the good fortune to come across it, though I have searched in many countries spread over three continents. On the contrary, I have seen the world plunging continually further into madness. I have seen great nations, formerly leaders of civilization, led astray by preachers of bombastic nonsense. I have seen cruelty, persecution, and superstition increasing by leaps and bounds, until we have almost reached the point where praise of rationality is held to mark a man as an old fogey regrettably surviving from a bygone age. All this is depressing, but gloom is a useless emotion. In order to escape from it, I have been driven to study the past with more attention than I had formerly given to it, and have found, as Erasmus found, that folly is perennial and yet the human race has survived. The follies of our own times are easier to bear when they are seen against the background of past follies. In what follows I shall mix the sillinesses of our day with those of former centuries. Perhaps the result may help in seeing our own times in perspective, and as not much worse than other ages that our ancestors lived through without ultimate disaster. "

Every so often I get this overwhelming feeling that it's me myself that is the irrational, abnormal one amongst the human race because of my oversensitivity to things around me. When I read things like this I cling to them as proof that I'm not the only one that feels the way I do about the world around me...

Hmm, then again that could just mean that there are more abnormal people like myself out there.. I'll ponder about that later, right now I need food and anime =D