Thursday, April 02, 2009

Pot & Kettle

She's been calling, msning and texting religiously these past couple of days. I dont answer my fone, I ignore her msnges and dont reply to her texts. I was angry, I promised that it would be a long time before I spoke to or visited her again. I'm a person who sticks to my word and it seems she must have thought I was joking cuz by the looks of her texts and msnges I think she believes I've just been busy lately - which isnt entirely untrue.

While I was packing my things for the weekend pilgrimage to the family den, I picked up a bottle of perfume. Nice smelling that one, but that is beside the point. The perfume had been a gift from her. The same her I've been ignoring for weeks now. I was wrong. Wrong in calling her a 'casual friend'. Certain things/actions move a person from being merely an acquaintance or causal friend to being more. Good friend, close friend or whatever. She had given me more than just perfume, and as for me I reciprocated with nothing. So where does that put me?

Everyone has their flaws, no one is perfect. Her 'flaw' apparently is being truthful to a fault cuz in reality what she said hurt, but it was truth. I expect that if I say something hurtful to one of my friends, whether knowingly or unknowingly, that they would forgive me. Especially if I apologize (she hasnt apologized, and I dont expect her to because one shouldnt be made to apologize for the truth). And I wonder, how can I be so unforgiving to her while expecting forgiveness from others. What kind of person does that make me?

I was ready to say I dont need ppl like that in my life, but maybe its the other way around. And if someone like her doesnt deserve me in their life, then how much more so for ppl even better than her?

I've become a horrible person and I ought to straighten out before I look to judge others. That's all I'm saying.

4 comments:

The Spear said...

:) To forgive or not?

Does she know how you feel?

Dragon said...

Well I did say to leave her ass alone, but I didn't know what she said to you was true! So you're saying you can't handle the truth and that's why you kicked her? Glad you realized your mistake, if you consider it such...I thought she was just mouthing off to you. Do what you gotta do.

Anonymous said...

Hi there did i miss something?

wanted to put my input but

i can't find the post about what actuall happened between your friend and yourself and what she said that led you to not be friends now?


thanks for this blog

El Hazard said...

Spear;

I finally returned her calls over the weekend. Apparently she didn't even know I was upset and had no idea what she could have said to upset me. I will forgive her but its going to take me time to feel ok with her again.

Neechan;

I can handle the truth. Just dont go springing truth when I'm already in a bitchy and emo mood. That day I tried to put on 'good mood face' for her and then she made her first comment and started pissing me off and I TOLD her that wasnt the time. She should have known then and there not to continue and change the subject. She was warned IMO.

Anon;

That would be the post directly below this one.