"Why?"

Why? I often ask myself after reading about or seeing with my own eyes the things mankind ( ha, these days 80% of the things man does is anything but kind!) is capable of. Like in the case of our maid who after being with us for four months made off with dhs. 1,500. Looking at her one wouldn't automatically stamp her out as a thieving, conniving, midget-chalba. (My sis swears that the lady looked sinful and shifty - but then noting such a thing one doesn't just leave their money hanging around now do they?! I'll just thank the God that it wasn't my cash ( lool I'm nearing broke - totally of my own accord though) cuz had it been I'd have had her hunted down like the animal that she is, shipped to Saudi Arabia and demanded those sinful hands, that had the nerve to touch my sacred money with, chopped right off - and while they were at it they could take off her feet as well for carrying those sinful hands to my money......Ha! who am I kidding, even if that was within my power to have carried out I could never order such a thing. Least not for that amount of money. Money in general has little value in my eyes. I'm a classic spendthrift (that's why I'm nearly broke now. Hilariously my siblings and most people think I'm loaded and have these secret piles of hidden cash - purely the result of spending instead of 'saving' or hoarding as is the case in some folks) and have tried remedying that with measuring money in terms of things I find important to me. For instance 1,500 would be 3 months worth of tennis lessons (8 classes per month) with 150 left to burn a hole in my pocket. Definitely not worth ordering bodily harm to such a sickling (don't get me wrong, what I mean is: not worth ME, myself ordering a nation-wide search for the wretch in order to inflict punishment. Whereas if she happened to be in Saudi and the authorities caught her, well then whatever punishment she got she'd deserve cuz stealing *ain't* right ). Besides I could make triple plus that in 3 months anywayz (my tennis would be safe). Not to say that I'd forgive her though...nope I'd leave her for the God - that's His job.)

Heck, where was I? Yeah, so you see all kinds of people but it's really hard to just up and mark this person as a 'Thief', 'Murderer' or even lesser things like 'liar' or 'backstabber' etc. When u hear (or they turn around and get YOU) about someone you've actually seen (or met) doing something totally shameless or appallingly bad it's like OMGWTFBBQSAUCE! Seriously.. Like that maid is one instance...another was this indian guy who was this old guy's houseboy back in our old neighborhood (here in Sharjah). For five years I used to see the same old guy sitting out in front of his house in the afternoon. Out there minding his own business enjoying a bit of fresh air. For the same five years I'd see that same indian guy (he was maybe in his late 20's or early 30's) cleaning out infront of the house or carrying water in the evening time (during ramadan) to the nearby masjid. The old guy was cheery enough, occasionally waving and smiling at anyone who happened to pass-by on foot or by car. Anywayz after we moved out of that neighborhood I'd still see him (my brothers have friends in that neighborhood and frequently go to play with them and me of course being the older sis with a license was charged with transporting them back and forth). After a couple of months I started to notice that I didn't see him anymore. Neither of them, old guy nor his indian. I meant to comment about it to my bros. It was highly unlikely that the guy moved away, but despite my intention I forgot. Weeks later, possibly even a month or two later I'm reading the daily rag and my eyes happen to fall on a murder that had been commited in that very same neighborhood. My first thought was like OMG that poor guy! Didn't take long for my bros to get the details from their friends. When realization set in it was more like my infamous OMGWTFBBQSAUCE! That indian guy was a killer! I was pretty sure on more than one occasion I had walked by that same indian on foot.... The thought that I had seen a KILLER (and yes that bloody F*** was a damn killer in case u didn't go to the link and read the story. He actually killed that poor old guy and dumped his body in a manhole!) and not just someone who happened to accidently run over some poor unfortunate with a car but an actual COLD BLOODED KILLER. Shocking. I go out remembering that and most times involuntarily find myself moving a few inches away from someone - not that I'm afraid that they'd kill me but out of fear that I could be standing next to such a corrupt spineless piece of sheemot.. In the end the question is always the same.."Why?" yeah sure that indian guy said he did it in "a moment of madness".. Like Hell he did! What constitutes "a moment of madness" ? Did that mean he didn't give sheemot for what the family (heck, he saw the old guy's grandkids, knew his wife..) would feel? The pain he'd cause them? True everyone is going to die sooner or later but I think - no I know it's much worse to have someone close to u murdered. If the old guy died on his own ( how much longer is a 70 year old going to live?! 10 years more, 20? 30? 50?! Yalla! break out the FIZZY!) the family would accept it after sometime with no regrets. But murdered by a dog-who-could-have-ran-away-if-he-was-tired of-caring-for-him?! "Why?" "Why?" "WHY?" What makes a person throw away their pride as human to commit such disturbingly WRONG acts?! True he claimed "Madness" but I'm afraid I don't believe that.. Is there such a thing as "madness" to the point where you can totally disregard all human morals and stoop to a level less than an animal?! That's his supposed excuse. (true there are some truly and mentally ill psychos out there but the majority of the time people try to claim such illness as a means of escaping the consequences of their wrong) Lesser than him is the maid's thievery. Sure if caught she'd probably start pouring out rivers of crocodile tears and between her blubbering one would barely be able to make out that she did it out of desperation for her *grown* kids back in Indonesia. Like H-E-L-L she did. She wasn't our slave. She WAS getting PAID every month. Every fil she got was totally undeserved (after her thievery of course). So again "WHY?"... Let's go lesser ( lesser in terms of how bad...stealing is definitely above murder even though it's still wrong.) than those two crimes to "breaches of friendship" (yeah sure it's not a crime punishable by any law...least not that I've heard of.) You are wondering how the heck does that have anything in common with murdering and stealing, aren't ya? Common in the fact that it's hurtful to the person(s) involved.. Murder hurts the ones around the murdered, stealing hurts the victim of theft (and in some cases those under the victim, if any) the same with breaches in friendship (backstabbing I believe some say) no one expects a 'friend' to suddenly turn on them. It has happened/ will happen to all of us at some point in life. Surprisingly not just once either.. I can say it has happened to me a few times and I can claim I've gotten over all of them but the question still remains in my mind "WHY?" Sometimes a "WHY?" can never be answered...

Getting to the point of this post (yeah now you've just uttered my OMGWTFBBQSAUCE! u can't believe that after all this I'm now getting to the point of this post) which is "Why" I so terribly wish to study Psychology and Sociology heck I'll even minor in criminal science if the chance were to present itself! Simply to find the answer to that confounded "WHY?" that eats at me everytime I see examples of humanKINDness at it's best.

Of course though if I find myself doodling away in an Interior Design major class I'll swallow my initial frustration and patiently accept it as a stepping stone towards my Ph.D in Psychology/Sociology. After all that's life, isn't it?