Sunday, August 19, 2012


I love twitter. Despite it's 140 character word limit, I love it. Everything about it. there isn't quite anything like it. I do quite a bit of posting there these days and I'm guessing the word limit has a lot to do with that. It's both restrictive and freeing at the same time - if that makes any sense at all. Some things just can't be shortened, like what I'm about to post about now. I considered making multiple tweets, but for the sake of continuity (and less hassle - plus I kinda missed this ole blog) I decided this deserves a blog post.

I titled this post after the twitter handle of one of my very dearest dorm (well former dorm) mates, Fa6ma. I think she knows or at least has a very good idea why she has a very special place in my heart, it seems it's everyone else who has the big question mark over their head. All of my friends from the dorm are special in their own way so it's kinda understandable for one to wonder what makes her extra special.

Being a person that gets accustomed to routine and familiarity of places, moving to the dorm for the first time in Fall semester 2010 was disastrous for me. I only knew one girl there and she seemed preoccupied when I first moved in. Other dormies can literally smell "fresh fish" and I didn't really realize that the dorm area was females only at night, so whenever I would go out to walk around I always dressed fully in abaya and shayla. Oh how they stared. My roommate was weird. I had been kinda excited about the prospect of having a roommate and thought since we shared a room we might become friends. She turned out to not really be the type to socialize with people she didn't really know. I tried for a bit but gave up after a week or so cuz she just seemed more content to stay silently on her side of the room rather than converse with me. It was the most awkward and uncomfortable situation. No freedom to go out in a car and hang out with my outside friends whenever I wanted with the heavenly curfew of 10pm, dorm area walks consisted of awkward stares like I was some exotic zoo creature, and there was only so much staring at my computer screen I could do. There was one friend from outside that would constantly chat with me and check up on me on BBM but I still felt extra lonely.

After a few weeks of sleepless nights and crying into my pillow, I decided to bake. It was calming and helpful to be the only one wandering around at 3 am baking to my heart's content. One night I decided to back chocolate chip cookies. There were a lot. I figured I ought to sell them, they were the best I'd ever made.I figured no one would buy random cookies from someone they don't know, so I decided I'd take a few bags over to the one person I knew in the dorm. I knew she knew plenty if not everyone and she would surely put in a good word for me. I gave her a bag and she took me to her room were she introduced me to Fuchi (Fa6ma) and their friend Hessa. I had met her sister a few times before, but never really paid much attention to her and certainly never recognized her if she wasn't pointed out to me by her sister. I sat in their room for a while and it was Fuchi who decided to buy the very first bag of cookies from me #heart (well there were a group of pj clad girls I ran into in the hallway on my way to Fuchi's dorm, they brought a bag for Three Dirhams which was technically a charity since I was trying to sell the bag for ten dirhams so that really didn't count. On their account they did say they would put a good word out for me..)

Fuchi's sister was usually busy so I found myself alone with her and Hessa whenever I went to their dorm. A few times I would feel shy to always come to their room, maybe they wanted privacy or something (I felt like rooms were like homes, and that maybe they might grow tired of my repeated visits). When I would show up again after a few days Fuchi would always ask where was I and why didn't I come. In the dorm we have a curfew, by 12 am we should be in our own buildings because the supervisors lock the doors. I was always super careful to get to my dorm by no later than 11:30pm and whenever I would start to gather my things and leave Fuchi's dorm building she would always ask me why did I have to go. Lol at that time I had no idea there were *options* hahahaha.

The next semester Fuchi's sister left. By that time I had made friends with exactly one other girl who lived in the dorm building across from mine. I still wasn't convinced it was ok to go hang around Fuchi's room every night, so I started to hang out with that girl from across the way. She told me its ok to not go to my dorm building till late. The first time we were watching shows and I stayed til 12. The next time it was till 1 am. And after that I stayed til 4 am. It became somewhat of a habit. Then one day Fuchi called me in the afternoon and asked why hadn't I been coming to their room. I said I didn't realize she wanted me around. She laughed at me and insisted I come that night and sit with them. That was the beginning of many fun nights. She and Hessa would take me around to meet their other friends from their dorm building. There were many of them, I couldn't keep track of names / faces / relations (some had sisters in the dorm with them). It was fun though. Fuchi never failed to call me whenever I didn't show up.

By the following summer semester I was roommate-less and often didn't mind sitting alone and enjoying having the room to myself. Fuchi took it upon herself to ping me (on BBM), msg, call or physically show up to bang down my door and drag me out to either walk around in the dorm area and be silly with them or go to a party. No matter how big or small their fun was, Fuchi always remembered to ask about me and drag me along.For the first time in my life I felt like someone actually cared that I was around. I felt like I was part of their group of friends and not just some random outsider.

One evening before the weekend I was feeling extra crappy and depressed. I don't even remember what the reason was but then everyone went home for the weekend and I sat in my room alone till my brother came and decided to drop me at the mall. It was my favorite mall (DFC) but even that didn't make me feel any better. I found a place to sit and although he wouldn't be back for a few hours I stayed there. I hadn't been talking to anyone and out of the blue my phone rang. It was Fuchi. She never called me on the weekend. I assumed she must want something to be calling. After all, most people only called me if they needed a favor or wanted something. I answered, she asked about me. I thought she was just being polite.I was wondering when she would get to the part where people ask for something. It never came.She was suggesting things to do to feel better and telling me not to stay angry etc. In the end of the call she was preparing to hang up and she still hadn't mentioned anything she wanted. So I asked her if she had called for something. She said no she was just worried about me and wanted to check on me. It was the sweetest thing ever and a call I will never forget.

That call and the fact that she always, no matter what, remembered to include me in any fun they were having is mainly the reason I don't leave anything fi 5a6rha. For my friends in general if I know they need something I will do anything to help them, but Fuchi didn't wait to become my friend to be nice to me #heart

She will always have a special place in my heart and no one ever has the right to question why because I think what I have written here is more than reasons enough.

Allah la y7rimni minha 2bdan #heart