POST-HIGHSCHOOL SHEEMOT

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

2010-11-02T19:47:00.003+04:00

Outside of UoS ((Meshy alhal)).. Inside of UoS "hal" doesn't "meshy" at all. On the contrary it is quite constipated. Indeed I wonder if ole chancellor Sam still possesses the reins of UoS or is it that good ole UoS has poor Sam by the reins. Pause.

So after a few semesters, one can actually get used to making pilgrimage to the once "forbidden wing" of the sprawling UoS campus. So, hal is meshying all is well and good in the world then *bam* 4 month summer holis and UoS flings its doors open once again to welcome back returning zombies and new-blood-soon-to-be-zombies. Quite the welcome indeed. While we were all off chilling in various corners (and some out the country corners) UoS was having a free fall all dig party. Internal uni roads suddenly looked like Sharjah in its digging hey-day; complete with detour cones, red and white detour ropes and of course huge no HUGE sand mountains.

Parking was bad before, enter new fall semester with the usual staggering numbers of new bloods - and it seems each one of them was given a set of wheels (no matter how beat down those wheels may have been... I did see someone come in a Ferarri today) to bring along to uni. Get there anytime after 8 -heck probably from 7:30, and you'll find yourself contemplating parking in AUS, since parking in any place other than a designated white lined parking spot at UoS will get your car tire-locked by the ever dutiful security chaps.

There was this huge empty area behind the new library UoS has erected. They had torn up all the grass and looked like they were measuring it out for something. They didn't dig down to put in foundations and building stuff so I thought it was safe to rejoice. They were actually going to skip the stupid process they have of turning big area into huge unnecessary lavish landscaping - don't get me wrong, I love an awesome landscape but at some point acres and acres of it gets to be a bit much and hey why put up 5 date trees while suffering parking shortage when one could just put up 2 trees and more parking spaces...

My rejoicing was short lived. Their measuring ended and they started planting fresh gorgeous looking date trees. 1, 2, 3, 4,...9.. 15 O_o WTF. UoS, 3n Jad?! We need parking spots not a flipping date tree forest! Over the next few days I noticed they were carefully measuring spaces between the trees and that the trees didn't actually in fact cover the whole area. "Great!" I thought. There's hope for this place yet... or so I thought. I imagined I saw the part were cars would drive in cuz like there was a break in the trees surrounding the perimeter, but I also noticed they hadn't removed the curb from the side walk so like cars could drive there. Everyday I passed thinking they'll get to it. A shipment of huge decorative ground tiles came in. I figured maybe they'll use those for the edges or something. Ha, after a few days they started putting those down. :: Palm to face :: .. It dawned on me that they were doing some sort of memorial-ish looking area. I got a BB msg mentioning a rumor that they were constructing valet parking. I laughed, and laughed, paused and laughed again. I figured it was an insanely ludicrous rumor and nothing more.

A month later, much wiser. Should have known better. UoS committee of campus beautification (ultra ultra top secret committee that few know exist ::checks over shoulder for sniper:: ) voted against making uni student life one less hassle free- by building a multi-story car park and instead gave the ok to valet parking.. pause. pause. pause. pause.pause. UoS is a university by the way. As a matter of fact, UoS stands for University of Sharjah.

I'm not quite sure but mall, hotel and other places of rest & relaxation/entertainment are all short words. Can one really mistake a huge long word like u-n-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y for something like m-a-l-l? I didn't really think so.. Last I checked universities didn't have "valet parking". I'm starting to wonder if maybe we'll get a cinema with gold class and maybe an indoor ski ramp or a water park next semester. Lord knows they'll need a 'project' to work on once the library and memorial /valet parking area are complete..

It's kind of weird but I've suddenly realized, while looking at UoS's facebook page, that I do indeed still love UoS. Despite its many quirks (and jerks - Allah ygharbl ibleesk ya wld alshgra Doc J). No harm no foul right? Guess we'll all graduate stronger people ;)

...

2010-08-26T15:58:00.001+04:00

"Ku-dos" said EH

2010-08-01T17:31:00.003+04:00

I'm seriously clapping my hands in applause - like seriously. UAE dives down the rabbit hole and The Royal Kingdom of Saudi Arabia dives in right behind 'em. I hope the royal court of hearts has enough tea down there, its going to be a looooooooooong winter.

Shot Heard Around the World

2010-07-15T10:29:00.001+04:00

I used to hide away and only try to save myself
From falling in love or staying up on the shelf
I was afraid to walk the streets alone or by your side
Just waiting up for something that could save my life

No, there's no way out, stuck inside my head now
Headed for a break down when I should be headed for the door

'Cause I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

If we could light up every street with our cellular phones
Then maybe we can save ourselves or maybe we won't
But it doesn't even matter if we got no plan
As long as you're holding on to somebody's hand

Because a way out, stuck inside your head now
But I know we can break out if we can all just step outside the door

'Cause I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

I'm gonna kiss the sky tonight, maybe you should try it
I'm gonna learn to fly tonight and you're invited
'Cause all the things that we've become are making me so fucking numb
And this time I have had enough
Goodbye and say hello to the end of the world

I found out there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
And I know you can't hide, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world
Lights out, there's no such thing as a miracle, a miracle
But baby don't cry, it's the shot heard 'round the world

Disclaimer: I don't own this song. I just thought the lyrics suited my mood perfectly and wud serve as the perfect post for this sucky month. Thanx s for sharing.

Ciprimil

2010-06-08T19:16:00.003+04:00

To what extent does the benefit of feeling every emotion outweigh not feeling anything at all? I find myself asking that same question almost every night. To love, to be happy, to feel pride in something done or joy over an accomplishment, those are good feelings. Fleeting moments which fill us with hope and optimism. But in the end, they are merely fleeting moments which come and go. Sometimes the time between those 'good' moments is prolonged and for a time nothing seems right. For some people they can carry enough hope and optimism to last them till the next time a good moment is upon them. But what happens to the others who have no such stores?

I ask myself, if given the choice - to feel or not to feel? Which would I choose? I certainly would not miss any emotions if I had the opportunity to rid myself of them. Even the ones that are supposed to be good do nothing more than cause pain. What would an emotionless person care if no one trusted them, or if people told them the truth or not. Feelings of being alone would probably go unnoticed. Things people say or the way they treated you wouldn't matter. To feel nothing would be the most awesome feeling ever. It's unfortunate a way to accomplish that has yet to be discovered. I would settle for them to be 'dulled' , as it is referred to, because as of the past couple of restless nights, I neither want emotions nor see any need for them.

Wanted

2010-05-26T14:42:00.002+04:00

Best friend wanted..

Description:

» Honest

» Sense of humor

» Positive

» Pessimistic

» Classy

» Spontaneous

» Fun

» Free spirited

» Believes

» Outspoken

» Non-conformist

» Not afraid to show emotions

» Sincere

» Loyal

» Knows when to shut up and listen

» Knows what I'm thinking even when I don't say it

» Knows when to lecture

» Trusts me

» Feels comfortable enough to confide in me

» Comfortable with me confiding in them

» Doesn't block me out

» Takes me seriously

» Can forgive me if I wrong them

» And if they can't forgive, at least hear me out and allow me to earn back their respect

Those are the first things that come to mind, I'm pretty sure their is more.. Maybe I should start my own reality game show like Paris and Brody (Ha) - I wonder how long the winning contestants lasted as their best friends..

Royal Ad

2010-04-22T02:33:00.003+04:00

This is the commercial featuring Saudi Prince Abdullah bin Meteb that has Saudi undies in a bunch. People ought to save their complaints for things that actually warrant complaining..

The jumping horse brought someone to mind. Controversy aside, I'll dedicate this post to K ;) Enjoy =)

Everyone Isnt a Tin Man

2010-03-31T23:06:00.000+04:00

Keep treating people like they don't matter and one day when you reach out for them they will be gone.

I Dont Wanna Be Anything Other than what I've been trying to be lately

2010-03-06T09:19:00.001+04:00

(That line was stuck in my head, so I just had to use it as the post's title...)

1. I ~~like~~ LOVE speed.

2. I take a simple word, phrase, sentence or situation and over-process it then turn around and ponder some more about it. (Not a good thing most times...)

3. 95% of the time I like to be alone, but in the other 5% connection with others becomes almost as important as breathing.

4. Lately, I've become obsessed with dieting and changing my image.

5. Thanx to my afghan friend, I crave 'mantoo' (afghan cuisine: non-vegetarian steamed dumplings topped with 'dhal' and yogurt ) every morning. I'm going to have to learn to make it one day..

6. I read trashy mags for creative inspiration.

7. I often find myself wishing I was a colder person and didn't get affected or moved by guilt or remorse for things I've done. I suppose it is a good thing sometimes, but to some extent it just becomes bothersome.

OMG

2010-03-04T20:31:00.003+04:00

Our spring break officially starts today. I swear I have no idea what I'm going to do with all this break time ^^ - well besides sleep like a dead dog =P

I feel genuinely happy =D

UOS - The Low Cost AUS

2010-02-04T22:33:00.003+04:00

I had an interesting day today. Interesting days are rare. Partly the reason I've come to love Thursdays. They're just so full of random spontaneous events and occurrences.

I got to my beloved university early today though hot Dr. J (another post for another time) canceled all Thursday sessions until later on in the semester when we have to do presentations. I had some time to kill so I kinda bummed around in the car till my Global Marketing class at 2. So anyways, I'm not sure if I mentioned it here before but UoS had started "co-eding" some of its colleges (at first claiming financial crisis was the reason - ha I bet if this was during the time of petrol/gas prices being raised they'd blame that also.) though it was pretty obvious that was a well crafted false-hood when they added the college of business to the co-eding agenda. So yeah, in UoS's version of "co-ed" the girls are required to make pilgrimage to the guys' campus and sit in classrooms amongst fellow male mates with a wooden joke of a partition (seriously it was a JOKE it stood like barely elbow high and when one stands up the guys are right there.) and 2 entrance classrooms with signs on each entrance designating which is for the guys and which is for the girls. (I don't think anyone bothers reading them cuz we all enter from whichever door is closest regardless of what it's labeled). I remember telling my classmate the first time I saw the partition that it wasn't going to last and by the next semester we'd be sitting in the guys' laps and all would be right in the world.

How ((almost)) right I was (only off by timing). When we walked into the classroom for GM (which is on the guys' campus) the partition was goner than gone. Took a moment to figure out what was different in the classroom. I couldn't help but laugh. My classmate who walked in after me gasped and gasped then gasped again. She was fuming, raging, boiling. She kept going on about how could they do that. How could they take down The Great Wall. I told her she shouldn't be surprised considering it was only just last semester I told her they were going to tear it down and have us lapping up. Seriously, she ought to save her gasping for the co-ed mixer parties, complete with spiked punch, we'll soon be having. Then they'll make the dorms co-ed. YAYs~!

It's amusing and sad at the same time but hey its not MY personal uni so why should I give a damn if 'Chancellor Sam' leads the once reputable institution down the toilet just to prove that he, like Obama, can and has brought about 'change'. In the end (though it actually has already started and is in full motion, case in point being the group of like 10 freshies that sat around a table in the cafeteria and egged a girl on as she danced on top of said table shakira style - and yes there were male professors passing around and we have male food servers in some of the outlets) anyone with any bit of class or self respect is going to either a) send their offspring to the REAL AUS or b) send them abroad where there are real segregated unis that aren't trying to compromise their original purposes and bullshit everyone into thinking they need to co-ed.

I mean don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with co-ed unis IMHO. The problem is when an institution that was built with one purpose and is chosen by most for that purpose (like segregation) goes and decides just like that, that they need to 'modernize'. There is nothing backward about segregation of the sexes. Just look at the countless segregated colleges and universities around the world. I can think of 3 off the top of my head. Bresica (canada), another one that I forgot the name of in Australia and another in Columbia SC (USA). Their chancellors, even though they aren't even muslim, aren't running around trying to 'modernize' them by co-eding (which if you think about it is BS, cuz to modernize is to update outdated facilities or bring in new majors that may not have been previously offered in the region). People want co-ed, there are other institutions for that. Same here. People want co-ed there is no shortage of co-ed unis here. It wasn't a necessity to make UoS a co-ed institution. But like I said, it's not my uni to decide what goes and what doesn't, though, it will be amusing to see how Chancellor Sam will cover his ass when his great modernization move back fires and UoS loses what remains of its dwindling reputation.

I Love Thursdays, they are just so random ~

We used to be friends, a long time ago

2010-01-30T21:31:00.001+04:00

They kiss and make up. That's what friends do. Or so I'm told. I mean it usually goes, I apologize for harsh tone or harsh words used when my temper flares and she accepts. She always accepts. Accepts that yes I was the one out of line or too hot blooded and that yes it's nice that I realize that and apologize.

It seems to never occur to her that my apologizing solves nothing. On average we fight almost every month and every single time it's about the same damned thing (just slightly different context). The last fight we had was a couple of days ago. I was so done. I told her I was done and she said fine. Not 'ok, because we are friends let's try and work things out as friends.' She said "fine". If she wasn't going to give a damn why should I? I told myself I wasn't going to care anymore. I mean after all it seems to be a common fault with all of my so called friends so why the hell should I be bothered by one more sharing the common fault demoninator? Against my aforementioned intentions, Z convinced me otherwise. She made good points despite one of them being that friends should always talk out their differences. I used to believe that even when I never could actually muster up the nerve to do it. Then when I finally did, that friendship completely dissolved faster than 'kool aid' in water - and apparently by social technicality the fault is placed on me. That's exactly the sorta crap that pisses me off and I feel like if that's what it comes down to who needs friends? Their was a time when I only had online friends. No real life physical there in your face friends. No work, no drama and I could honestly say I never felt that empty hallow feeling that real life friends leave. I miss those days.

I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. In the end it changes nothing and people will be people. Boredom and being alone are the two worst sucking combination.

'09

2009-12-28T16:11:00.003+04:00

2009, Two Thousand Nine, '09.. It's almost surreal how fast it blew by. Can't really say I'm actually saddened by its departure though. I was getting tired of writing '09 anyways. Seeing as this is probably going to be the final post of '09 this would usually be the post where a blogger jots down a few resolutions for the new year. Useless. Utterly useless for me who needs a new resolution almost daily - getting out of bed in the mornings is more and more becoming a loathesome chore. Daily resolutions are my bargaining chip that make it that much easier to get out of bed. So yeah, no new years resolutions for me.
With this I wave off '09 and acknowledge '010 / 20-10 / 2010 - however it may be called with a respectful nod.

Sticky Note to '010: Don't put 100% faith or expectations in anyone but YOURSELF, cuz in the end you'll be 100% disappointed.

Retards...

2009-11-02T10:19:00.004+04:00

This is our classroom for e-commerce, its also the classroom for several other classes. When we had our e-com exam that wasn't there - I would know, that's my place. After exam week I noticed it. UoS-er's should be ashamed, if you are going to cheat at least try to be a little less obvious with it. (Though i guess if they were that dumb to need cheating in the first place they wouldn't be smart enough to be creative about it)

Change..

2009-10-29T07:51:00.003+04:00

I wanna leap. The truth is, I'm terrified of what happens - or might happen - afterward. Not knowing scares me. I know it's impossible for any of us to know but even if I did know, I'd probably still be afraid. I'm the girl who hates change. Any and all kinds of change. The mere thought of changing even the simplest things that most people wouldn't bat an eye at nauseates me. And yet, I still cling to the very edge with this burning desire to just let go. "Change is good." I can chant a million consecutive times over to myself but in the end I always find some new reason no matter how insignificant or trifling to cling to my edge. It infuriates me that in all of these years I still haven't figured out what it is that I truly want. My actions and words are nothing more but huge contradictions of each other. At times I find it easier to pretend I have everything all figured out simply because the reality isn't something I wanna face. I point the finger in every direction but in the end it always leads to the one person I want it not to point to. It's become a cycle, I turn it over and over in my head, I don't get the answer I want, I get frustrated, and blame everyone around- be it family or friends - for my frustration. Sometimes I still naively believe that if we hadn't drifted apart I could talk to her and she'd help me figure things out. A fresh perspective and unclouded judgment was what I loved most. I still catch myself in the process of dialing her, my pride gets in the way though. She couldn't/can't be bothered to answer my calls or even afford the common courtesy to at least return them when she isn't busy, I am so not going to chase after her. But who am I kidding, in the first place she isn't obligated to do any of that and in the end it is me that needs to realize that change is going to happen whether i like it or not. No one is going to wait on the edge with me when they see their turn to leap. I understand that but always believe the next person I meet will be the one that laughs insanely while telling me it's ok not to leap and it's ok to be afraid...

To Tip, or Not to Tip

2009-09-24T18:09:00.003+04:00

When I go to the grocery store to shop and allow the bag boy to bring the cart out to the car and load my purchases into the trunk I usually tip - that is when I allow them to 'cause most times I just take the cart out myself. It's pretty much an unwritten rule with me that those guys get whatever coinage change I received from the cashier.

When I tip for other services though, like getting air put in my car tires or getting the front windshield washed (without actually getting gas) I usually pay 5dhs in coins - never a bill. (Bills always feel too much for a tip.) It feels wrong to tip less than that though. The way I see it, to tip less than 5 is like an insult both ways. Makes the tipper look cheap and the tippee (probably not a word but who's really keeping track? Anywayz just think employer and employee.) a creature - not even human- unworthy of a decent tip.

So the night before I had gone to this full service gas station - it had everything, Mc D's, Baskin Robbins, Dunkin Donuts and the normal gas station convenience store. It was mother's car and the windshield was insanely filthy. I'm not even sure how I made it to the station in one piece but yeah I had decided surely filling the gas tank would merit the gas guy going ahead and washing the windshield. Somehow he didn't bother doing it and I forgot to ask (I was busy trying to wake up little Annie, who was asleep in the backseat, for Mc D's ice cream - which was the reason we had gone out in the first place.) So I was done paid for the gas and everything then pulled into the Mc D's drive thru before realizing that I hadn't gotten the windshield done. The drive thru line was pissy long and it was a while before we finally got our order. In which time I had deeply contemplated the windshield and tipping issue. See, if the guy had done it when he filled the tank then I wouldn't think to tip. But now I'd have to go back and get the windshield done and if it were the same guy who filled the tank then that wouldnt be a prob. No tip. But if it were a different guy - which it was, he wouldnt know that I just filled my tank there and I'd have to tip. I had already spent 72dhs in gas and only had 2 dhs in coins - I had bills but seriously I wasnt in a very tipping mood since the window should have been done when the gas tank was filled. So now I was wondering should I even bother tipping. Long story short, he got 2dhs and I drove off. It still bothers me though, evidence in fact that I'm blogging about it...

Greetings come lately..

2009-09-23T18:06:00.002+04:00

Hmm, so apparently Ramadan has come - and gone...and 3eed has come - and gone as well. AND I'm like the only blogger who hasn't left proper Ramadan/3eed greetings. Shame on me, happy belated 3eed to you all and I hope you guy's Ramadan passed well =)

Pong

2009-08-31T22:22:00.005+04:00

I'm really not in the mood to post, but being the 31st and I haven't posted a single thing I felt the urge to at least post something for record's sake (since June/July 2006, I haven't missed a month..) So here you guys are: meet Pong, the evil moo moo cow - El Hazard's moody alter ego.

Uukh Galbi!

2009-07-30T23:32:00.004+04:00

I haven't felt like blogging of late (obviously, lol). I've kinda been enjoying the freedom of not only being liberated from summer course but also my arch nemesis : Business Mathematics. Yes, I can hardly believe it myself (ALHAMDILLAH) that I finally - somehow- managed to pass BM. I gotta hand it to the professor though, he was a bad ass at explaining. Way better than the previous two lady professors I had. I almost wanna believe the sexist saying that male math teachers are the better of the sexes.. big exception will be made for BW - of course, cuz she had the power to make me understand lots ;) But yeah, I'm glad that's behind me.

Mostly since the end of summer course I've been playing tennis, loads of PS2 soccer (football to the rest of the world) - I found this option where u play in this like career mode and you get to create your player including his name and appearance, kinda like SIMS. So yeah I kinda got addicted to it and play everyday.

About the only productive thing I get done is attending art classes in the mornings (w3, I am so not a morning person). Its fun though. We're learning so much cool (useless) stuff. We also take Arabic calligraphy. I like that alot as well. It calms me down when I'm moody.

I've decided (though I haven't actually done anything yet) to go back to Quran classes and seriously memorize. I figure its about time I got holy and did something that would help me in the afterlife. I'm looking forward to that inshallah. I miss the feeling of doing something that actually matters.

In other news, I've been job hunting. Unemployment doesnt suit me =P I scored an interview for Sunday. Khair inshallah.

I found an interesting story about my favorite sportswear company, Adidas. And then read a very retarded story in Gulf News. I mean all these copyrighted things still make tons of money and there will always be people out there who have to have the originals of certain things and will still put money into those things even if they already have a downloaded version. (I mean sometimes I have the original of something and I go and download it from torrents or whatever so that I can use it on my comp/phone/ipod, whatever makes life easier) They should stop being such tight asses about it and live their lives.

Lastly, I'll leave you guys with a Fares Karam clip. Its music, and while I dont usually listen to music unless its like on tv (which is where I first heard this clip) or whatever, I found the lyrics so cute...

888

2009-07-03T13:48:00.003+04:00

So I was tagged by Roon. Thanx and sorry I took so long..

8 Things I'm looking forward to...

next uni semester
summer ending
finishing the novels i'm working on
taking a filming course at NYFA

8 Things I wish I could do...

Go skim surfing
Get a new desktop comp
Go snowboarding
Graduate
Get a job

8 Things I love....

Tennis
The N96
Writing- and ppl actually reading what I write, doesnt matter if they like it or not
BMWs
Seeing/making ppl smile
Photography and most recently filming
My Ipod
Captain Awesome [Ewok]

8 Things I did yesterday

Lazed in bed till 9:30
Took mom and little bro to the airport
Picked mom and little bro up from the airport [ they called me back cuz little bro took so long getting ready - he's like worse than a girl with all his hair/face products and accessories he has to put on before he can go out- that they missed their flight.]
Helped make breakfast
Lazed in bed some more while watching the Beast and texting friends.
Chatted with friends on ebuddy [I so need a new laptop]
Toyed with the idea of actually finishing a chapter of Llewellyn
Drove mom and bro back to the airport at 8pm for their flight [ This time they were late again but on the father's account - i think its a genetic thing....has to be]

8 Shows I watch...

Grey's Anatomy
Laguna Beach
One Tree Hill
Chuck
Gossip Girl
The Hills
Greek
The Beast

8 Bloggers I tag

Bookworm
Kath
Ruby
Drunk n Gorgeous
Neechan
The spear
Neel
Hmm, I'm outta ppl, guess I'll just go and tag any random blogger ;)

Twit Tat

2009-06-19T09:44:00.003+04:00

Once upon a time, El Hazard possessed a working msnger. One day someone 'signed in' and El Hazard sees all these annoying characters (~#*!%^ [c=11]). The first day it was weird, so were the second, third and forth days.. By the 365th day El Hazard realized there was something terribly wrong. Then one fine day, El Hazard's fairy sister S, points out that El Hazard needs to download and install MSN live plus! - an extension for windows live messenger. After much hemming and hawing and waiting for 547 days El Hazard finally decided it was time to surrender to live plus!, and surrender El Hazard did. Once live plus! was installed, El Hazard cautiously 'signed in'. "THE COLORS! THE FEATURES! THE NOVELTY OF IT ALL!" El Hazard exclaimed. And from that day forth El Hazard and Windows Msnger Live plus! lived happily but not ever after for all good things ALWAYS come to an end, and a horrid end it had.

Epilogue:

- Curses be upon WLM9
- El Hazard's Twitter Account.

Nothing more need be said.

Like You Mean It

2009-06-11T11:32:00.003+04:00

So the first week of summer course has gone by. Aside from the frequent cluster headaches I've been getting and the fact that the class is a whole hour AND 40 mins long.. math classes have actually been quite interesting. The class is totally on the guy's campus (which is freakin awkward and just plain weird) and we, of course, have guys in the class. A very half-assed partition separates the sexes (I so need to snap a shot for you guys's viewing pleasure!) which is like the joke of the whole school. There are uniformed guards all over - I imagine to 'keep the peace' haha. Right. I wonder how they would describe the status of UoS now? ... "Controlled Co-ed".

Anyways, like I was saying, the classes have been interesting to say the least. We got a guy professor this time around. I know we aren't supposed to be sexist when it comes to math teachers and all but its becoming quite apparent that they are the better teachers in regards to math anyways. The guy teacher at the institute I was going to in Dubai for tutoring sessions was like a mathematical Einstein. When he explained, I understood. When things were difficult, he spoke ENGLISH. Our professor for this semester speaks English as well. Not that any of my other professors or tutors spoke/taught in other languages but they may as well have been for all I understood from them. It was frustrating really.

I think this may also be the first time I was actually present for the first math chapter. I don 't remember studying about the basics of the straight line the previous times. Despite only having spent a week with this new professor, I think I like him. He's got a really short volatile temper. Reminds me of Tony Soprano's temper. It doesnt help much that he kinda slurs words together like Soprano as well. The first day (Monday) he was going through the course syllabus and introduction (in English) like a normal professor and then suddenly he starts yelling all this angry arabic. It took me a minute to register that that was definitely not part of the lecture. I look up from the syllabus hand-out to see him waving around a small black thing. Turned out to be someone's mobile. Apparently while he was going thru the syllabus one of the boys was getting in quality talk time on his phone. It was pretty funny. But just as quickly as he was set off he had calmed down and was smiling again. Lol. Tuesday the lecture went by with out a hitch. Wednesday we had a quiz. We knew we were having a quiz that day. So everyone went in and sat down and we were like waiting for him to pass out the quiz papers. Instead he surprised us all and told us to get out our own sheets of paper, write our names and IDs on them and then copy the quiz question he was going to write on the board. I was thinking Oh Wow we are all sitting next to each other (like usually they make us sit at alternate desks and stuff) so just before we start his angry alter ego "Mr. Soprano" (fitting name) comes out and threatens that if we attempt in any way...even if he so much as 'thinks' we are attempting, we'd get a zero. Then he adds that with him there are 'two' zeros - a red zero and a yellow zero... I imagine it must be something along the lines of Soccer (football to the rest of u guys ;P) with their red and yellow cards lol. So he wraps up with 'You all be careful.' I almost felt sorry for the girl beside me cuz even if she wanted to cheat, i'd be like the last person she'd wanna cheat from! When I saw the question my brain immediately froze. Like what the hell? I knew that I knew how to solve it and it was a relatively easy problem but I was having trouble remembering how to go about doing that. In the end though, I put down pretty much all of the correct answer except for the last part of the equation. I guess I'll see on Sunday how much leaving out parts of equations cost in marks.. After the quiz we carried on with the lesson as usual. Like half hour before the end of class the teacher makes this swift movement on the boys' side of the partition and next thing he slams a familiar black device on his desk. He's glaring angerily at the boys' side but says nothing surprisingly. Instead he turns back to the board and starts writing again. Once he finished writing, he opens his mouth to speak and I imagined he'd be explaining what he had just written - and maybe thats what he had originally wanted to do but the object on his desk caught his eye and set him off. Haha. There was no stopping him. He went on and on about how rude and wrong it is for someone to be using their phone while in a lecture. And the retarded guy he took the phone from was arguing his case saying he wasnt doing anything like texting. He claimed he was just receiving. Oh the professor loved that. His face got all red and his eyes turned mini-saucers and he looked like he was ready to drag the kid out by his ear and drag him all the way to that great and mighty (cough cough) chancellor of ours. And like everytime he seemed like he was winding down to continue the guy argued some more. A couple of girls grinned. A few giggled. I tried my best not to laugh, smile grin or look amused but in all honesty it was hilarious. And what's more, it was the same boy from the first lesson with the phone. Some ppl just dont learn, sadly. I guess its a good thing though, it makes the hour and 40 mins a little less mundane. ;)

This summer promises to be very busy, aside from summer course. I registered for art & calligraphy classes. I'm going to finally learn to swim (though I still very much hate that sport). I'm also going to try and finish my new novel -which entails learning welsh and perhaps gaelic or latin. Should be fun I hope. Oh, and I got an invitation letter from this cadet pilot programme I registered for. I had signed on ever since last year, I was really depressed and needed a change of routine so that was like the most random spontaneous thing I could do. I'm not as interested in it any more but since I have the invitation letter I may as well go on for the assessment test and see how far I get. They say its 6 aptitude tests that you have to take in 4hours and based on ur performance on them you get to move to the next round/part of assessment which is held on a different day. It'll be interesting at least - I wonder if I'll be the only female there...

I need to go put some honest hours into my neglected novel - and most probably play sims 2 ;)

Laters ^^

Surf Skimming

2009-06-03T23:28:00.001+04:00

Captain Awesome

2009-05-14T20:21:00.003+04:00

Its been a while since I posted anything. I feel vaguely bad about that, but so not in the mood to rectify the matter. For now I'll leave you ppl with a picture of my new kitten, Captain Awesome. (The monkey off to the side is his - I think I'm going to name it too... O'malley. )

Friends

2009-04-27T13:30:00.002+04:00

"I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddamn friends,...they are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights."
- Oscar Levant

My brain feels numb with exhaustion but I felt the need to share this. It made me laugh ;)

People

2009-04-24T18:30:00.003+04:00

Did I ever mention the level of disdain I hold for people who only remember my name and number when they want something?

I absolutely DESPISE them!

Just for a Second..

2009-04-24T16:05:00.002+04:00

Imagine that there is something that you really wanna learn to do. No matter how many times you try the end result is the same - failure. Logically if you really want it your going to try putting in even more time and effort. But to your disappointment, all your time and efforts -no matter how good - doesnt render what appears to be inherently inevitable.

It doesn't help matters any that everyone around you believes that a) you aren't trying hard enough. or b) you aren't taking it serious or as serious as you should.

Family being less than optimistic about your efforts isn't that much of a surprise. But when your friends are on the same side of the field as your folks it makes you wonder.

It shouldn't be any surprise if you decide you've had enough of looking like a fool and put an end to all of it. Sometimes to walk away is simply the only answer left..

That Which We Reap

2009-04-13T12:15:00.001+04:00

::sighs::

The Lady of Shalott

2009-04-04T19:30:00.004+04:00

And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
The Lady of Shalott."

She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.

Out flew the web and floated wide-
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.

"Who is this? And what is here?"
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."

- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Pot & Kettle

2009-04-02T07:06:00.003+04:00

She's been calling, msning and texting religiously these past couple of days. I dont answer my fone, I ignore her msnges and dont reply to her texts. I was angry, I promised that it would be a long time before I spoke to or visited her again. I'm a person who sticks to my word and it seems she must have thought I was joking cuz by the looks of her texts and msnges I think she believes I've just been busy lately - which isnt entirely untrue.

While I was packing my things for the weekend pilgrimage to the family den, I picked up a bottle of perfume. Nice smelling that one, but that is beside the point. The perfume had been a gift from her. The same her I've been ignoring for weeks now. I was wrong. Wrong in calling her a 'casual friend'. Certain things/actions move a person from being merely an acquaintance or causal friend to being more. Good friend, close friend or whatever. She had given me more than just perfume, and as for me I reciprocated with nothing. So where does that put me?

Everyone has their flaws, no one is perfect. Her 'flaw' apparently is being truthful to a fault cuz in reality what she said hurt, but it was truth. I expect that if I say something hurtful to one of my friends, whether knowingly or unknowingly, that they would forgive me. Especially if I apologize (she hasnt apologized, and I dont expect her to because one shouldnt be made to apologize for the truth). And I wonder, how can I be so unforgiving to her while expecting forgiveness from others. What kind of person does that make me?

I was ready to say I dont need ppl like that in my life, but maybe its the other way around. And if someone like her doesnt deserve me in their life, then how much more so for ppl even better than her?

I've become a horrible person and I ought to straighten out before I look to judge others. That's all I'm saying.

I Am Done

2009-03-20T09:56:00.003+04:00

I seriously can't understand people who say whatever comes to their mind with no regard for whether or not what they are saying is going to hurt someone. What is it with them? Do they just not give a damn or is that they are too thick skinned to take into consideration how the other person might feel?

I know at times I read too much into things and I have periods when I'm feeling a whole hell of a lot more sensitive and emotionally insecure about certain things. But that doesn't excuse her from being a tactless 'ho-bag'. In my book we were casual friends but maybe she misunderstood and thought we were close enough where she could say anything no matter how hurtful and expect that her position was such that I might be upset for a while but in the end I forgive her cuz that's what friends do.

I wasn't in a place mentally to put up with the crap spewing from her mouth and my best defense was to leave. I'm entitled to that. Her cue to get her mouth in check and possibly shut up, maybe even text an apology later on. Not her though, she decides its best to follow me and add salt to wound.

That was days ago. I was upset about it, and then I had an amazing math session at Sylvan Institute which drowned out those feelings. But this morning when I woke up her words were already on auto-playback and they still sting. This isn't the first time she's done something like this, but it is the first time that I just can't deal with it. In translation, I'm done. Done with trying to be her friend, done with the effort it takes to be her friend, done trying to figure out why the hell she can't for once stop and consider my feelings. I am simply done.

This probably wont make sense...

2009-03-16T20:15:00.003+04:00

I don't think I have ever moved so fast in my life.. there was no moment of hesitation or stopping for any reason, it was purely on instinct. Once I reached my car I sat there. Sat there and waited. It was safe. Like a cocoon, protected from anything looming on the outside. I waited and watched. It wasnt long before the first unrecognizable figure made its way out. Then a few more. Then a swarm of black. Some recognizable, while others remained just figures in black. Still, I couldnt bring myself to pull off. I had to see 'them', or more specifically her. And yes I was well aware of the fact that on some level that could be considered stalking but I didnt give a damn.

Once the intial sea of black subsided I knew she'd make her grand exit. I knew her well, and she ALWAYS had to have a marked exit and entry with her personal entourage surrounding her at all times. It seemed like forever between my swift escape and her leisured exit. When she finally did, I caught my glimpse. In all these years nothing changed. A swift, protected and direct walk to her car.

I should have known better. That glance alone brought back memories I had tried my best to suppress and forget. Memories of a time when we were all friends. That was a very very long time ago. Or so it seemed. I am no longer that person I used to be and sometimes I wonder if that maybe for better or for worse. It's never easy when someone just suddenly shuts you out, no reason or at least no logical reason. Ppl grow up and grow apart, go their separate ways and somehow if u dont understand that or dont want to understand that, it leaves you in a very screwed position. I'm not going to lie to myself. I was happy back then. I mean sure, I wasnt problem free but when I look back at that time it's the sparkly happy things I remember. The only thing I've kept from that time is a watch that one of them had given me. Everyday, without fail, I put it on -even when the battery stops working and I need to get it changed. It meant alot to me and even when I dont actually think about what the watch meant I still find it a very important object to me. That group taught me alot of things and it leaves me wondering if that was their only purpose. Everything has a reason right?

Funerals are depressing, and not just because of the dead people or grieving relatives...

Of Preludes and Queries

2009-03-13T12:59:00.002+04:00

I wonder if it's just me, or do any other writers find writing the perfect query letter to potential agents/editors to be harder than actually writing the novel itself. It's understandable why they would want that letter, but they shouldnt be so nitpicky about it. They ought to come up with one unified standard query form which would leave writers to just fill in the blanks. If they like what they see then they could proceed with requesting pages/chapters or whatever. It would make life alot easier for all of us (them included since they are always complaining about not getting properly written queries).

Spring break is a good thing - VERY good thing. I had wanted to go to Kuwait this break, but it seems none of the little brothers (that I'd feel like holidaying for a week with) are off from school. Sux for me, I guess I'll have to be content to study, tackle that query letter and find something to keep me reasonably amused this week.

Lately my alter ego has been demanding a facebook account. I'm weighing the pros/cons of obliging such a request..

I guess I should go work on my first couple of query drafts. I hope you guys have a great weekend =)

WTF PPL WTF

2009-03-10T06:30:00.002+04:00

I fail to understand why the hell Saudi is always doing retardedly STUPID things which not only reflect badly on all arabs but muslims and our religion as a whole. Seriously? Don't they have much bigger problems to attend to other than harrasment of someone's grandmother?? And if it wasn't retarded enough, she was supposedly just getting bread from her dead husband's nephew not having an elicit affair with an indian shop keeper (or least thats what the article says). She's 75 freakin years old, I mean COME ON?!?! How in the hell are they going to go and beat someone that old - for something so retarded? And to make matters worse, its in the news. Its no wonder they have the many problems they do..

Sam

2009-02-26T18:50:00.003+04:00

The pics of the arm named 'Sam' (I mentioned him in the previous post but didnt post the pics

Once..

2009-02-22T21:52:00.005+04:00

My eyes are on the verge of burning they are so tired. Go figure, today was math day. I can't understand the inherent fixation some teachers have with making things seem more complicated than they already are.. and some are quick to lay the blame on the gender factor in this equation but that is so not it. I mean seriously, those who say that females never teach math properly are dead wrong. Like the math professoress (not sure if that's a word but I really dont care at the moment) I had last semester was a hardnose but she was good at what she taught, left us feeling pretty secure - and yes I know that would leave some wondering why the hell was I failing it that time if she left us feeling so secure. It was my own personal fault though, nothing to do with the teacher or how she taught.

All week, or maybe more like all month, I’ve been in a pretty crappy mood. I mean for all intents and purposes I shouldn’t be.. Today wasn’t much different – or rather I should say, started the same as almost every other except it didn’t quite end as I thought it would.

S is studying some medical related major and this semester the course requires them to learn how to draw blood from patients and test it and stuff. She’s been really psyched about it for ages and I volunteered to be her first lab rat. When I was a kid, the mere thought of getting an injection at the doc’s set me off. I hated going to the doctor with a passion simply for that reason. And when it did happen, they usually had to call in the nurses to hold me down - such was my dislike for injections. I even carried on for finger sticks. I just didn’t like the thought of a sharp object piercing my skin. And yet, if someone had told me back then that I was going to voluntarily let a friend draw blood I would have said they were totally BSing.

So S asked me the night before to wear an abaya that she could access my arm easily. I obliged, though it still hadn’t set in that she was actually going to be drawing blood. All month she had been saying she was going to but like every time, something would come up. This morning I wore a ‘blood drawing friendly abaya’ and went on to uni. I don’t have class till 11 so S came and hung out for a bit while I worked some math probs. At quarter to 9 she said we’d go to the lab – and we did. The moment we set foot into the Health Science building I felt those familiar dead/dying butterflies weighing heavily in the pit of my stomach. We get into the room and its all ‘medically feeling’, then S decides to show me the dummy arm (I think she said the med students named it Sam..) they use for practice. I’ll add a pic of it to this post. I saw that and was seriously freaked. That’s when it finally set in that I was to be her FIRST… UNO... AWAL. “Dear God,” I thought. “It would be so classless and uncool if I backed out on her now.” I touched Sam’s arm (his skin had a pretty rubbery feel to it and kinda on the tough side.), and the weirdest thought came to mind. I had already decided that I’d let S do my left arm in case anything went wrong and I ended up paralyzed for life – I’d forgive her of course, but it was just in case. The thought that was on my mind was if any coach would allow me to play tennis even if I couldn’t actually toss the ball to serve and if there were any tournaments would I be allowed to play. I mean I’d have no problem receiving the whole game with no service of my own.

Ok, so by now S has gotten a key to the medical cabinet containing all the needles, tubes, gloves and all that other stuff. I watch as she gets a white tray and begins neatly piling her blood sucking paraphernalia on it. I’m hella nervous and start talking, I mean really talking cuz that’s what I do when I’m nervous. While S was preparing, a classmate of her’s comes in with another eager volunteer in tow. So S and classmate begin preparing together (they were both extra extra cheery – almost humanly impossible cheery for so early in the morning). So us lab rats waited it out, I knew I was nervous but I wasn’t quite sure about the other girl.

Finally S asks the classmate to go call the teacher (since this operation has to be supervised). The teacher arrives and has a few words with them about their preparation. She tells them they need to put more things onto their trays. Like instead of one tube, needle, syringe thingie, band-aid, and cotton, they needed like 3 of each (In case anything was to go wrong for any reason.. my heart skipped a beat, not the type of thing I wanted to be hearing after seeing Sam’s arm..)

Anyways, classmate and her first victim decided to start things off. I couldn’t really see what went on over there but after a few moments classmate was apologizing profusely to the volunteer. I prayed S had steady hands and held my breath knowing I was next. S came over, tied a tourniquet thingie to my upper arm and admired the visibility of my arm veins. The predator and its prey came to mind. Then the teacher came over, had a look and gave S some last minute pointers while S rubbed the spot with an alcohol swab. S then picked up the needle and syringe and began fixing the needle on it. Somehow during that process the cover on the needle popped off and there was this HUGE ass needle point staring me in the face. It was bloody HUGE and I might have thought I was exaggerating but I could actually see, very clearly, the hole in the tip of the needle where my blood would be sucked through. Right then I decided I couldn’t look. I turned my head, shut my eyes really tight and clenched my teeth. I told S to just tell me when it was all over.

Just when I thought she would dive in, she paused, and wiped the spot again with a swab and dabbed it dry. Then there was a sharp prick, hurt for like a nano-second. It was in and for no logical reason I decided to look. – for a split second. I watched that deep colored vein blood go into the syringe thingie. I’m not really a fan of blood so I had to turn away again. She finished, took the needle out gently and the teacher pressed a fresh cotton on.

Relief, it hadn’t hurt as much as I thought it would and thank the Lord I didn’t end up like poor Sam.

That over and done I left the med lab to the comfort of the lounge in the business building. There were clusters of students scattered about socializing, but I didn’t really know any of them despite sharing the same building. So I decided to use my iPod to kill off the remaining time till class. I was playing a pretty intense round of Vortex and listening to my favorite AlSafi tracks when I felt a hovering presence. Some one was trying to get my attention –which surprised me but it turned out to be my math classmate M.

She’s a really sweet person, though I haven’t known her that long. She only just started speaking and hanging out with me like week before last, despite the fact that we’ve been classmates for nearly 6 weeks now. But hey, I guess that’s something since I can’t really say I know any of my previous math classmates or even my current ones save M and her friend.

Anyways, we were chatting online last week and she asked me why don’t I socialize at uni more. She said, we only live once and life is boring if we don’t have someone to love in it or enjoy things with. We have to live, love and laugh. I’d say she was having a philosophical moment but that is the way she is. She’s just one of those people that make you laugh with her even when you’re feeling extremely crappy.

So we talked for a while before class and she helped me understand the concept of tax in demand and supply functions. After class we parted ways and I went to AUS. I was supposed to meet another S there and go home. (LOL funny thing is I met a totally different S there than either of the first mentioned Ss. This could get confusing. First S will have to be SR. Other S will be SK and the S I bumped into unintentionally will be SS) ok so SS and I chatted for a bit while I waited for what truly seemed like forever for SK. By the time SK finally showed up I was feeling really drained and just wanted to go home so I could dive into bed.

That didn’t exactly work out as planned. I got home and laid down, but just couldn’t sleep. So I decided maybe I’d work a few math problems. Math book was in my bag with my laptop and when I went to get it I ended up getting out my laptop, setting it up and using the net. I never made it to the math book. SK wanted me to come over to her house, which isn’t that far from mine, but I told her I couldn’t even move off the bed much less think about putting on outside clothes and going out.

I laid there for a few hours and then a little after 5, Z msged me and asked if I wanted to join her and some of our teammates to play tennis at 7:30. The thought was daunting in itself. Not only would I have to get up, but change into tennis attire AND somehow get to the club. That didn’t take much thought, I replied and politely declined the well meaning offer.

I continued laying in bed till M’s words randomly came to mind. “Live.” By definition I believe she means go out and have fun / make life worth living. “What have I become?” I’m the one always scoffing at those who can’t handle a bit of work in the mornings/afternoon while still maintaining a healthy amount of activity in the evening and yet here I was just like one of them – dying from the little bit of morning uni. Long story a bit shorter, I managed to extract myself from moping about in bed and got to the club by 7:15. It was fun. Hell it was a heck of a lot of fun. I ended up laughing so much my sides hurt.

Wow, I started this post days ago and then got so busy with uni I never got around to publishing. I suppose I hadn't finished with it, but I dont remember what else I had planned to write and I certainly don't feel like even being bothered atm.

For What It's Worth

2009-02-14T15:29:00.001+04:00

Thank you S, for showing me how unimportant I am.

771

2009-02-05T10:07:00.002+04:00

This should be an inspiration for anyone who gets discouraged and wants to give up on anything without giving it a fair shot ;)

Invisible

2009-01-31T09:56:00.002+04:00

Why do people always tend to underestimate how much someone values them? I mean sure, no one is psychic or heart readers but don't actions count for anything anymore???

Real Americans

2009-01-18T15:18:00.005+04:00

"Wedding bells meant the Mexican fast food chain Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks. Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat in an orange Taco Bell booth and exchanged vows earlier this week. The entire wedding cost about $200, with the couple deciding to wed at the restaurant because they both like to spend time at their local Taco Bell."

These, my friends, are real Americans. Fun-loving, adventure seeking, mavericks. Not out there harming anyone or defacing anything to get their 5 minutes of fame. It maybe true that we dont share the same faith, but I sincerely hope they have many years of happy marriage and hold true to their vows.

And with this, I've now reached my 300th post.

Cheers ^^.

The Hydra Executives

2009-01-17T04:00:00.003+04:00

Lemme start with I honestly dont know what possessed me to watch the first ep of this show. I generally hate reality tv. I'm not quite sure which but it was most likely because of either the billboards they have posted on the highway going to sharjah and coming back from there, or the fact that it's a UAE reality show and I was curious to see what UAE would come up with.

That's the promo for it that I watched before I found the full eps on hollywood.tv, the show is aired on Wednesdays at 7pm and 11pm on Showtime and Infinity TV respectively but I watched the first 2 eps on their Youtube account. Just type in The Hydra Executives in the youtube search bar and the eps come up.

It wasnt really what I expected, though after the first 16 min part I was interested to see what happened next. It has this appeal, for those of you who like business. The good Doc, host of the show (with seriously heavy accent) insists it is edutaiment. Agreed on that point. End of first ep, had me a bit pissed though. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who wants to watch it, but yeah i was pretty ruffled by how things turned out. I made peace with that though, I mean there was kinda a point to it and all but I had my suspicions. So I watched the second ep and the way things turned out in there definitely didnt make me feel any better. It feels like the judging is a bit biased - though admittedly I'm a bit biased myself... I'll be waiting for the rest of the eps now, I definitely want to see how this all unfolds in the big picture.

You Touch It, You Buy It

2009-01-17T03:11:00.003+04:00

Here's an interesting article I stumbled across on yahoo.com. The article was basically pointing out the connection between potential buyers and how touching/feeling/holding the potential purchase actually heightens the chance of the buyer making the purchase.

Makes me wonder. I've driven alot of cars. Different cars. I can envision myself with a number of them. Whether it's a car I've been dreaming of, or something that looks cool, is fast and has excellent handling. At any rate, in all my wildest fantasies I've never pegged myself to be a Camry type. Such a generic, standard issue car. Borderline boring is what I might have said about it if asked last week. So little brother's usual car is in for servicing and the Camry is sorta a fill in till he gets his ride back. Little brother travelled a few days ago and asked me to drive him to the airport so he handed me the keys to the Cam. At first it was a bit awkward, about a couple of minutes to adjust to the handling and feel of everything. Different from other brother's Mazda and definitely different from mother's Previa. And yet it still had that feel, or rather, Toyota flavor about it. By the time I got him to the airport I felt more comfortable in terms of the overall driving feel. It was late though, so I just went home without really taking it for a more indepth spin. The following day I opted to take it to sharjah. Nothing like taking a car out on that long stretch of highway to put it to the ultimate test. I was reasonably impressed. Despite it being a cheap Toyota car it was fitted with one of those beep once to let you know when you've gone over 120kmph but once you hit 121/122 it goes silent and just flashes a little light saying 120kmph. (I cant stand the cars that have to alarm once you hit 120 and proceed to get louder the faster you go) It did 140 pretty smoothly, not much noise or shaking - as some cars like to do if you go a bit fast. Climbing to 160 was just as smooth, didnt leave you feeling like it was straining to maintain that speed. It was more like "I'm at your service, would you like more power?". I mean sure it wasnt reeking power like the Lexus but it was doing a pretty impressive job for a Camry. So I was cruising at a comfortable 160, nothing more nothing less. Suddenly I hear this noise like a helicopter was trying to land. For a few seconds it got louder, and I was wondering if it was really from the cam or not. Slowing up some, the noise eased up a bit then I was 100% sure it was from the Cam. I was thinking what the hell? My first thought was that there was some prob in the engine or something. Pulled over to find one of the back tires had blown. Totally shredded, looked like wolverine had taken his claws to it or something. (Pretty ironic since just a few weeks back I had been telling my mom and bro that I needed to learn how to change a tire since it was something I dont know how to do and would come in handy one day.) So I'm sitting there at the Dubai-AD border with a shredded tire waiting for my bro to come and fix it, and I'm like "Wow, our first day out and this is what you do to me?!" After like an hour or 2 of waiting the tire was changed and I was back on the road. I felt pretty sour at the car but I carried on with my day and by the return ride home I had decided to name it. Misty. Dont ask.

The car has definitely seduced me. I'm thinking to ask can I keep her - or at least get her little brother Aurion (IMO Aurion is the classier sibling). The power of Touch & Buy... Perhaps.

The End

2009-01-14T14:09:00.003+04:00

Why is it easy to start things, yet so hard to end them?? I could write pages and pages without so much as a thought but then come closing time I end up staring blankly at the screen/paper.

I took a break from Llewellyn to write a short story. I wrote it in less than a week, which was good and fine but now I've been stuck with how to end it. It's been a month now and I'm tempted to just stop with one of those open-ended endings but my last short ended more or less like that.

I like to finish things, I mean if I start it I should finish. When writing full lengths it gets frustrating though, after weeks and months passing without being done, so I break and write shorts just to satisfy that need to start and finish something.

My problem this time is that I have too many ending ideas and can't decide on which one to choose. :: sighs :: I guess I have no choice but to draw lots on this one..

D is for DemonSpawn

2009-01-11T03:00:00.002+04:00

I'm not sure which I hate more; ingrates, snitches or those who don't have the balls to behave like normal people.

Having said that,

My stepbro is an ass.

It is definitely to his good fortune (and he ought to thank his Lord a million times over) that I am bound by my very own personal code of ethics and can't swipe my fist across his face simply for being a most detestable creature.

The Honest 10

2009-01-04T23:18:00.003+04:00

I've been tagged by Bookworm again, this one was pretty interesting. This tag apparently requires for the tagged to state 10 honest facts about themself and then tag others - probably 10 others but I'm sure I'll fall short in that department.

At first only things I was ashamed to admit would come to mind, but then I realized that wasn't stipulated in the rules. It just has to be any 10 honest things. Hehe, I jotted them down in my phone before I crashed for a snooze this afternoon so here they are:

I'm generally a by the book person but I hate to be or feel restricted - which leads me to do things on whim or spur of the moment just to prove that I can deviate from the rules at times.
I like to study with my headphones on, even if nothing is actually playing.
I have OCD/perfectionist tendencies. For example, when I used to write letters to some of my friends I would first write in pencil to be sure all letters were formed properly and that there would be no crossings out or corrector markings. Then I'd go over the penciled letter with a pen. Another example is my room, either it is a complete and totally mess or emaculately clean depending on my mood - and in both extremes there is still a set order to things and I know when the slightest thing has been disturbed.
Sometimes I open both of my msn accounts and have a back and forth chat with myself.
I hate keeping things in my head. If I'm going to the store for more than 3 things, even if it is just 4 items, I HAVE to have a handwritten list. (Drives mother crazy cuz I always make her write it lol.)
I usually know when I'm dreaming and if I'm not satisfied with what was happening at the time of my waking, then I'd just conclude it as I see fit, during the day. Like once when I was a kid I dreamt that I got seperated from my family at that moment I woke up. I felt really bad that to them I would have just disappeared, so I sent a fill in double of me and imagined that they lived happily ever after. Haha, I know that sounds kinda lame, but I still do that. Especially if I have a bad dream.
Being around people, even friends, used to be awkward for me. As a result my stomach would clam up and I could never show any emotions in social situations.
I get insanely attached to people and things (animals included) and that's probably why I can hold intense grudges for very long periods. 'Love is a prerequiste of hate'.
I love it when people are happy. I enjoy it even more when I have had a hand in making them so.
I adore my older sis - even if she does embarass all hell outta me at times and we dont see eye-to-eye on things. (I would never admit this to her face! - and older onee, if ever u should bring this up I'll deny this post ever existed!! =P)

Yalla, who to tag.. D&G, Ruby, Older oneechan, hmm, Chocoholic, (Gosh BW, I'd have tagged Kath if u didnt go ahead and do it =P) Hala, DarkRanger and Dubai Guy

'Yay' world.

2009-01-01T15:15:00.006+04:00

For the first few moments after one wakes up (or has been woken up) before reality comes barging in, there is this complete and total zen like peace. Unawareness. Blissful ignorance. Whatever you choose to call it, its there.

I was disturbed from my morning slumber prematurely. I had no intentions of seeing morning and had hoped to wake up sometime after 1pm. Instead, at only 10am, I found myself sitting at the edge of my bed wondering where those first waking moments went. From the second I opened my eyes I felt like crap. No particular reason for that feeling stood out but I was sure that once the sleep fog cleared from my head I'd know right away. Today's much anticipated and talked about date came to mind. Its 'January 1st'. New year. A day celebrated world wide by mankind irrespective of sex, race or religion - and yeah some may argue that certain religions/nations dont actually celebrate or recognize the Gregorian new year but they still congratulate each other on their own respective new year dates. Either way, I don't understand the celebrating/congratulating. Maybe if it were done to mark Dec. 31st/last day of their respective calendars and people were celebrating having made it thru another year or having had accomplished greatness in the year passed or something of significance worthy of being celebrated. Then maybe I might vaguely understand it. But as it stands I honestly don't see what the hell there is to celebrate? And no, I'm not saying this with Gaza in mind. I'm saying this wondering if everyone got a divine memo, to which I was excluded from receiving, stating beforehand that this coming year, or any other past/coming years, will be a year of great achievements, victories and etc. To be frank, I see no apparent reason why the changing of a year should be acknowledged any more than the change of a second, minute, hour, day, week or month. So a year is longer than all of those aforementioned, 'yay', what of it? Decades are longer and still centuries are even longer than all, I dont see anyone celebrating those. So I ask again, what the hell is there to celebrate?

As one kind, mankind, what exactly is being celebrated? Did someone receive credible info that in this 'new year' all the warring parties of the world would agree on peace? [It's totally not impossible. Take palestine for example. Instead of all the insane terrorism both sides are guilty of, why not just divide the whole land into three equal parts. A part for those nationalistic jews, a part for the nationalistic arabs and lastly a part in the middle for the innocent/unbiased/nonprejudiced from both sides, who can live in a peaceful - or at least tolerant manner. Next, build up huge ass walls to keep the volatile nationalists apart. And of course build or give them the means to build up equal facilities, ie hospitals, schools and etc. Very simple solution to a very screwed up problem that should have been handled decades ago.]

Maybe world peace isn't the reason for celebrating, maybe a solution to world hunger/poverty was found. [ You know like all of the better off countries pitching in and effectively eliminating that problem. And yes, please spare me the impossibilities of it, because with all the technological advances, modernization and globalization or whatever the filp we wanna call it, that has been reached in this day and age, surely a solution can be found that enables the giving of the most basic human sustenance.]

So neither peace nor poverty's ends are being celebrated, what else is there that I may have missed? I mean warring and poverty are top world issues aren't they? And if the world isn't celebarating the solution to either of those what else is out there worthy of collective merry making?

For all the happy sparkly optimism attached to every new year I can honestly say I am so not feeling it. I wasnt feeling it last year (which was technically the beginning of this week, Dec. 28, 29, 30 or 31) and inspite of the changing date my mood did not feel obliged to make a miraculous 360 turn to gaiety.

I ought to have curtailed the amount of blog reading I do after the time I had a really really weird dream which basically took everything I had read in that week and meshed it with a few prominent plots of shows I had been watching and then put me in the middle of all of that. I almost feel sorry for the fact that blog reading has become like a hobby to me. So many interesting thoughts, opinions and in general randomness that you wouldn't ordinarily get the chance to hear from strangers you happen to passby. Reading comments is an added bonus. People's reaction to what has been written and posted. I usually find all of that very amusing, but lately Gaza and the New year have made for very grim readings. The top 3 subtopics that stem from Gaza and 2009 are:

The arab world doing nothing for the Palestinians
Shaykh Mohd bin Rashid cancelling official new years celebrations in Dubai

and the most depressing of them all:

Muslims being terrorists and 'enjoying the misery of non muslims'.

Muslim blogs are checkered with remarks on how the arab world and its leaders are turning a blind eye on our Palestinian brethen but has anyone really stopped and gave thought to that? Has anyone thought that maybe, just maybe the arab leaders really wanna do more than just send food and medical supplies? No one likes to see innocents being massly slaughtered but truth of the matter is, the Israelis have labeled the Gazanians as the instigators of this current massacre and just mentioning that Hamas is holed up amongst them gives the Israelis automatic American approval to do as they please. So scenerio #1 sees a few arabs, hundreds, maybe even thousands, form a little unofficial battalion and rush over to Gaza to fight against the Israelis. Of course, in their minds they are making 'jihad' - which would be wrong since there is no jihad unless their is a leader, and not just any leader but one leader whom all the muslims agree is the leader and follows. That seems like forever from now, given the way muslims cant agree on anything. The outcome of that unorthodoxed jihad would only end with more trouble. The US would be able to label the aid of the innocent Gaza people as helping the Hamas and then they'd lay blame on the origin countries of aforementioned jihadists, which would most likely end in the US justifying attacking those said countries 'to rid the world of terrorists'. And you know what? The world would conveniently forget it was the Israelis who started a wildly disproportionate retaliation on Gaza in the first place.

Scenerio #2: I had a lengthy bit to write in defense of the arab leaders but I think their actions speak louder than words. After all, weren't they there for Afghanistan and Kuwait when they were attacked by the Russians and Saddam? I have great faith that they will also come thru for the palestinians when the time is right - or in other words, when more good than harm will come of a more proactive approach. At any rate I may be wrong in thinking, but I believe a leader's first duty is to the citizens of his country and the palestinian president ought to get his folk in check because all of those random fractions going off on their own little rogue suicide bombing/killing assignments and killing innocent Israeli woman and children arent helping peace arrangments. Even in a real war, muslims arent supposed to harm woman and children of their opponents.

The second-highest-bitched-about-topic across the blogsphere was of Shaykh Mohd cancelling 'official' new year celebrations in Dubai. I've already vented my stance on NYCs so no need to state that again. As for the whiners, they still got to party right into the NY from what I heard - and even if they hadn't Abu Dhabi isnt that far and NYCs certainly wasnt cancelled here. [Instead Shaykh Khalifa ordered the gov. depts not to charge palestinians immigration and residency fees.] Other whiners whined that SM isn't doing enough and that the cancellation was simply a cover for covert intentions, some even saying he should sell some of his assets and send the money to Gaza. Can't people just be happy he showed respect for the Gaza ppl in his decree [I'm sure he sent or is going to send humanitarian aid to them as well since the UAE always sends out lots of that regardless of the country being affected]. Seriously though, those same ppl accusing him of his lack of 'doing' would have had grand mal seizures if he had went ahead with NYCs and they had a display of fireworks that rivalled those of the Atlantis opening. There's just no pleasing some people. My last word on that subject as a whole: 'ah salute'.

The most damningly depressing reads are by far those blogs/comments stating that muslims in general are terrorist and revel in the infliction of calamity on non muslims. Totally untrue. For one, those claiming to be muslims and going around shooting ppl, blowing up places and spilling the blood of innocents are definitely not following the religion properly - if they can still even be considered as part of the religion. That other bit about muslims rejoicing at the mishaps of non muslims is also very wrong. If that were the case, why were arab units over in china providing aid the last time it was hit by a major earthquake? And weren't they also over in the tsunami hit countries giving aid to those afflicted by the disaster? Now that I think about it, there probably isnt much convincing a normal muslim could do to show the general people of the world that religion is not responsible for individuals who decided to go rogue and do things unsanctioned by their religious affiliation.

I'm already tired of 2009, I'm going back to bed.

The Window

2008-12-28T17:20:00.004+04:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all of his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind 's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'

I didnt write this. It was a fwd in my email and I thought I ought to share ;) I hope you guys enjoyed reading it =)

The Devil

2008-12-27T23:26:00.002+04:00

Hearing my 16 year old bro sing his rendition of Timberlake's Sexy Back is a friggin nightmare! I seriously dont understand why his mother doesnt rip him to shreds for it. Goddamn him.

Anyways, I finished the last ep of Maou (The Devil) tonight. A masterpiece, I bet Shakespeare himself would be impressed! Toma and Ohno did a superb job portraying their roles. I'm not going to say anything more here, wouldnt want to spoil it for anyone, but I will say that I recommend it highly =)

Obama's Secret Identity

2008-12-22T15:52:00.003+04:00

My title choice suddenly reminded me of a show I used to watch as a kid. The show was called,"My Secret Identity". OMG I just looked it up for the link and found out Jerry O'Connell was the lead boy I had this SUPER girly crush on (haha despite being a major tomboy as a kid I always managed to maintain crushes on members of the opposite sex). Gosh that is such a blast from the past, after I post I'm going to go find the original episodes.

So anyways, I was surfing and came across this vox post about obama and the question of him being arab or not. Generally, I dont care about the details of his life but the post seemed interesting. It was. I loved the way the author pointed out those two facts that ppl often get wrong. It was logical and made lots of sense, I think even the likes of McCain and Paris Hilton could understand from the way it was broken down. If only all americans could be so 'enlightened'.

Made In America

2008-12-21T00:39:00.003+04:00

"What the flip?!?!" Is the first thing that came to mind when I saw the ad. Who in their bloody right mind would pay $3.99 to smell like a freakin burger, let alone a whopper???

"The scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." is how Burger King is advertising their new men's perfume. And here I thought the end of the world was near when I had to sign in to the oldest MSN messenger because the net has been acting like an ass due to "cable trouble in the mediterranean".. But back to the subject of seductive scents, I truly pity the male who goes out and secures a bottle of that stuff. Wallah what do they see us females as?! Awina we're some carnivorous animals that can be seduced by a male that smells of spray-on artificial beef patty (Not to say that we'd go for a guy that smells like real beef patty either).

The maker, campaigner and buyer of such a retarded product should all be shot.. Or better yet, doused in their ingenuity and placed in some lion/tiger/meat eating animal infested safari. Haha let them seduce the wolves and the vultures can have the leftovers!

Kiss of the Ages

2008-12-15T17:26:00.004+04:00

Here's the pitch.....

'This is a farewell kiss, you dog,this is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.' - What the thrower reportedly said. LOL... Bushie is lucky though, I sincerely doubt any of the US army mothers of sons/daughters that lost lives over there for this stupid pointless war would have been so gracious.

More shoes, Less guns, I say! That honestly made my day. Har har! I really hope Obama does a better job of representing the US, and that the arse wipes allow him to do so.

Bullleh!

2008-12-14T18:58:00.006+04:00

Amazing what people can do when they unleash their creative powers! =) I'm thankful to little brother for snapping these for me, but I'll have to stand over his shoulder next time to make sure he gets the zoom and lighting right! Hell, I ought to just get a camera of my own. There is a car show starting here in AD soon. I so am going to have to take lots and lots of pics there, lol.

Btw, this was from the Red Bull gallery thingie they put up in Mall of the Emirates. If u can't tell from the pics, everything was made from empty red bull cans. There were way more exhibits besides what we got here. I'm not sure how long it will be around but it is definitely worth seeing in person ;)

Don't Mock the Karak..

2008-12-13T20:33:00.006+04:00

Contradiction:

Pronunciation / kän-trə-ˈdik-shən/, n.

The overwhelming sense that I've been robbed, betrayed or violated on some pathological level - and yet I feel thankful, grateful even, to the offender.

This sort of thing usually begins with me minding my own business, innocently going thru my surfing rituals. A name, more like a title carrying a badge of prestige, catches my eye. First instinct, ignore it, just let it go. That might work for a minute or two.. an hour even. The whining and pleading gets louder until I find myself pushed to the brink of insanity. Curiosity has me completely and utterly wrapped around its thumb and finally I turn to my saviour, the prince of searches, Google.

This time around 'professional curiosity' had me putting No Time for Goodbye under the 'scope. The article had described it as a truely masterful work of art that held the reigns to numerous bestseller lists. I had no choice but to hunt it down and get a look. I was happy to find it was part of amazon's Search Inside program which allows eager folks the chance to gaze upon just enough greatness to whet their appetites.

What I saw that day, bedazzled me. The most simplistic style and words employed for the task of telling the alleged bestselling tale. The words spoke out to me as if imploring me to relieve them of a burdenous secret. Lucky for me I didnt have to wait long. Mother happened to be going to the bookstore to hunt down some literary works she'd been craving so she offered to pick up that book for me while there.

The day I intended to start reading it turned out to be the same day mother took the liberty to promise that I, yes ME not her, would take the kids all out to the zoo and a place called Discovery Center in shj. All day affair in other words. It was fun, but it meant that I only got to read a few pages of the book. I got to finish the prelude. It was good. Strong start, but it left me with this nagging feeling. He had innovated. It was only the prelude and yet there was his gleaming creativity. I imagined the feelings running thru my veins were the same Christian Bale's character in American Psycho felt in the business card scene. It was ruffling to say the least. Abandoning the beguiling piece, I spent some quality time catching up with past episodes of Life. It wasnt until last night when I went to go work on my own prelude that I picked up NTFG again. I brought it to learn and learn I shall!

By 2am I was peeved. The book was like a slap to the face. This guy, Mr. Barclay, he was breaking every single rule in Novel Writing 101. From grammar to sentence structure, and if that wasnt enough his characters were urkingly weak. I wont even go into the details of his male characters suffering from a serious lack of testosterone on top of being chronically stupid. At that point I would have gone on to bed but realized I had gotten halfway thru the book and had only just really started it that night. (I'm usually a really slow reader so that was a big thing for me) I decided to stay on and see how far I could get.

I watched the digits on my clock change from 3:59 to 4:00 am. I wasnt 'peeved' anymore, no. I was freakin DISGUSTED and pissed out of my mind. I was about 50 pages short of finishing the 400+ paged book and the only thought pleading an answer in my mind was "How in bloody hell had that book scored 'Bestseller'?" I had to break then and there, book in hand, to have a look online and see who exactly authorized that right. I mean my God, I'm not above reading crap, especially if I know in the beginnning that the author was aiming for crap cuz then at least its entertaining. This though. "Oh Boy." To quote my grandpa's famous words of astonishment. It was an eye opener. I couldnt help but think it was a guy thing. I mean till I realized I've read some pretty great stuff written by guys before [Ludlum, Grisham, Crichton - and even though I've outgrown Pike and Stine they still had pretty good literary contributions]. Ok, so not a guy thing, just a Barclay thing. I could barely turn the pages anymore. In the end I just prayed and slept. I didnt wake up till well after 12. I finished the remainder of the book and just stared at it. Somewhere between the disdain and regret I was feeling for the book I had just pulled an all nighter for I felt this light of shining truth. I mean the most obvious of all facts was that if ppl's standards were so low as to celebrate such an affront to modern literature then hey they were gullible enough to accept any sheemot rubbed between two covers.

As much as I can complain about the book and how much of a disappointment it was, I have to concede that I learnt some pretty important things from it. I think the most important of which was plot structure. I mean I guess that was always important but I always find I get a little lazy by the end of whatever I am writing. Sometimes I give it a hasty ending or go with the first few hundred things that come to mind instead of waiting for a better plot element to come along. [Lesson one from Barclay: Stong plot/concept and see it through to the end.] I'm pretty sure I did it with POA. That was the reason I still havent re-read it in its entirety. Solely for fear of finding plot holes or weak elements. I'm going to re-read it though, soon, and I'm not going to be ashamed of what I find either. [Lesson two from Barclay: Baby steps. Take it slow and easy, no need to rush.] Cover each bit meticulously, air tight sealing as far as elements and grammar is concerned. I do that most times but now I'll triple and quadruple check till my piece is of sacred grade. [Lesson three from Barclay: ....hmm, there was a third lesson.. I smell mac and cheese, intoxicating carbs. Maybe I'll remember the third later and edit it in or something..]

I need coffee! A caramel spiked French Vanilla latte...::sighs:: mother has become so enamored with Lipton's Chai-latte that she forgot to buy real coffee.. ::more sighs::

TAG

2008-12-10T13:12:00.003+04:00

I'm 'it'. I used to love that game as a kid and I guess its really no wonder. Any game that had objective running in it I was all over. (Running just to be running never appealed to me.. probably the reason I hate the cool down rounds we have to run after tennis practice.) I must have played every single variation of tag known to humankind but my all time favorite was 'freeze tag'. Dont bother asking either, cuz I have no idea why it was my favorite.

Remember how, when playing with a group, there was always the kid that every loved to tag, but was usually abandoned by his teammates? I was never that kid, least not that I can remember. At times I would feel sorry for whoever it was though. Didnt stop me from tagging 'the kid everyone loved to tag' or being party to leaving that same kid untagged (freeze tag) for nearly the whole game.

That's the memories associated with the word for me, but this post is supposed to be about the 'electronic tag' I recieved. So four. That's the number of bloggers that came to mind that I should choose one of to write about. La Doctora, Bookworm, Katheria and RAG.

Of all the blogs I read, those 4 stood out. Like the semi-finals in a tennis match, the last 4 standing. BW gets an automatic disqualification on accounts of being 'the Federer' or if you dont follow tennis and dont know who the hell Federer is or what he means in the semi finals of a tennis tournament, then in plain terms BW was the obvious/typical choice. I hate typical when it comes to something I'm doing. 1 down (gomen BW), 3 to go.

LD, fine piece of blogging she had going. Unfortunately something went wrong and she decided to toss it. The tag rules mandate 'members only' - exclusive. No blog, no entry. 2 down, 2 to go..

K, I'd love to write about. I love her blog. Its part of my morning ritual - to go read it I mean.. Come to think of it, its part of my evening and afternoon rituals as well and late night after evenings, and early mornings before actual morning, lol like I said, I love to go to her blog. Sorry K, as much as I love ur blog and thoughts, LJ is kinda on the 'banned list' and the back door has been locked otherwise I'd have smuggled u in ;) Oh wait.. U dont use LJ anymore, hmm, I just checked ur blog. Can't make out wat it is. Hmm, it could be wordpress. Rules said Blogger or Wordpress. I know what blogger layout looks like without even seeing the address. I dont recall ever seeing a wordpress blog before, so it's very possible urs could be wordpress and I just not know that. (Somehow I've shifted from speaking about u to speaking to u. Note to self: I need to put that shifting in check. I do that when I'm writting stories also.) Ah what the hell, the possibilty of ur blog being a wordpress blog is just as high as the possibilty of it not being WP. There, my choice has been 'divinely' made for me =) Ok, choice made I need to go back and read the rules again, see what I'm supposed to write about my chosen one. (I had intentions of making this a two parter but it seems there isnt a need anymore ;) )

Alright, so I'm supposed to talk about the things I like and dislike about K. Hmm, lots to like and not much to dislike ;) I like that she likes animals. She isnt a mainstreamer. Likes random and spontaneous when the occasion calls for it. Understands things that most ppl dont. Smart, funny and blogs on mood. Oh! I didnt mention that she likes video games and cats as well! Aside from all of that though, I think I love her blog most for the effect her posts have. Happy, sad, angry, excited.. no matter the mood of the post I always feel like her words reach out and make you feel those things with her. I can't honestly say I've come across another blog that did/does that. This coming from a blogaholic. I've seen a fair share of them, from the funny and interesting blogs to the 'sadly pathetic keep u coming for more only out of curiosity' blogs. Maybe in a few years time when I am promoted to an authoritive position of blog connoisseur with a fancy title (hey no one calls 'sommeliers' alcoholics =P) perhaps I might know a few more bloggers of K's stock. But until then, my vote's on her ;)

That was actually easier than going with my orginal plan, when I cant make up my mind about something, I wait. Then the first thing that comes to mind, I do the exact opposite. Those first 4 were all pretty much disqualified (RAG because he's a resident and I only know him as far as stalking his blog - plus imagining the reaction one of my fave residents on Grey's would have if they randomly received an E-tag, well let's just say it was unnerving lol.) so that left me to choose from whoever came to mind afterwards. Ruby Woo was the winner of that round.

So this is the part where I tap 5 others to don the members only jackets. Let's see... Ruby, K, Drunk 'n' Gorgeous, I'd tap BW but she was already tagged. Hmm, I can't think of anyone else that would respond to a tagging much less want one. I guess that's what I get for being more of a blog stalker than participant..

For the Love of Gadgetry

2008-12-07T12:34:00.003+04:00

After finally upgrading my old blogger template to the new layout thingie all I can think of is why the hell did it take me so long..

Admittedly I've become some what obsessed with the gadgetry in the layout upgrade. Now whenever I come to post I find the urge to mess around with the gadgets and widget things completely overpowering.

I've managed to justify my latest additions by means of giving them a legit purpose. They are simply for "psychomotivation". I mean given my love for making lists and crossing things off of my lists I think this would work wonderfully, least for the reading, writing and memorizing parts. The watching list was just a guilty urge with no real justifiable reasoning behind it.

I ought to get moving. I've got a real life to-do list which includes securing tickets to the screening of an arabic short in the DIFF and buying a 'turkey' for dinner tomorrow..

3ed Mubarak you guys!

Happy 37th =)

2008-12-01T17:13:00.005+04:00

Unfortunately my favorite file sharing sites are down/blocked, but I managed to find another pretty good option.

Majd wa Fa5ar - 3li Al Ktheeri
Dar Bu Sultan - Al Dar Band
Ostorat Al Majd - Salem Al Terifi
Ramz El Emarat - Al Dar Band
Watani Al Emarat - Osama Al Safi

I heard quite a few etihad nasheeds this year, Majd wa Fa5ar rocked the best.. by far - as expected of 3li alKtheeri tho ;)

Enjoy =D

Fleshy Part of the Thigh

2008-11-29T12:40:00.003+04:00

I've been working on my new novel lately, though not as often as I'd like. Everytime I put pen to paper I get ambushed by a most annoying nagging feeling. Something wasn't right. It was like cooking and tasting what you've created only to find that something was off and it didnt quite taste as you were expecting. I absolutely abhor that feeling when I'm writing. I've already tossed out 2 of my previous drafts. This time around I like the idea and didnt really wanna resort to another chucking so I decided that until I figured out what was wrong, there was no point in moving forward. The idea of going over my previous works presented itself in such a way that I felt I could actually put aside my fear of reading POA-post publishing. I mean after all, I usually do go over my pieces after they are written but only with proofreading for grammar/spelling mistakes in mind. I never go and re-read them with objectivity on my agenda. Lol, so I'm going over my things and some of them it's like "What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this??" but I did realize what it is that I may be missing... Character development. Sometimes referred to as 'fleshing out the character'. Yeah I know that sounds like one of the most basic things that every writer thinks of first. The thing is when I first started making up stories to tell my little brother they were usually in the form of a play with his action figures (spider man, batman, ninja turtles etc.) or like when he got older and I'd borrow characters from shows that we watched and create a sort of fanfic version of them. In both cases we knew the characters already and all that remained was to add scenerios or a bit of character twisting to them.

I came across this site yesterday that suggested a pretty interesting way to go about character development. It suggested that each character be fully described on a page or two and set aside. From physical appearances to personality and preferences. Jot it all down like you'd do with the general or chapter outlines. Doing this would make the character more solid, relevant. I love the idea. In general I am obsessed with organizing things, though only a select number of things, writing is one of them. I already had a character list. I guess I'll just have to add a bio for each one now. It would work out good considering I was planning to make a webpage for this novel and I could now add the individual character bios to it.

So I guess I know what's on my agenda for today, besides watching South Park and Brothers & Sisters ;) Gosh, it's going to be so hard killing characters off now when you know they like fig juice and sleeping on soft hay in the corner of their cottage!

Thank You for Being an Ass

2008-11-17T22:05:00.003+04:00

The task of taking mother's car in for routine servicing was placed upon my head today. My brother had called in and made the appointment for 5pm (not the usual time one would take or give for such an affair). So I was supposed to take the car and all, but at 4 I was asked to make something to go with lunch. Pasta. I got done by 4:30 and was starved so I took the liberty of a few extra minutes and ate. I think I must have been in the car by 4:45 at least. Anyways, I get on the highway and just a few kilometers down I hit some really bad traffic. That highway never EVER has traffic in the evening unless there is an accident. 'Dammit' was the first thought that came to mind. I was going to be late getting to the toyota shop. Called my bro who was supposed to meet me there. Turned out he hadnt left his office yet. Preparing to sit in traffic for a while the thought "this better be worth the traffic" briefly passed though my mind. It took a while to actually get to the accident scene, but man, it was wicked. Quite a while before I could even see the actual car I saw a mangled tire and various other bits and pieces of the car scattered all over. A few fire trucks were there. There was lots of water all over the highway. On the side I was driving on to my right there were huge skid marks in the grass. It looked as if the car was trying to enter the highway from a ramp, lost control skidding across the grass while flipping and finally landing on the other side of the highway into the on coming traffic. There was very little left of the smashed in charcoaled remains. I mean I am usually pretty good at telling what a mangled wreck had once been, but that thing was totally unrecognizable. There was an ambulance there as well, but I highly doubt there was much left to take back to the hospital. It was pretty sad that the cars on my side of the highway had slowed to a crawl just to get a peak at what was going on and no sooner were they a couple of feet away they'd return to speeding like there was no tomorrow.
On my way back I took the same highway, now on the side where the car had landed. There was a bit of traffic. I couldnt imagine that they were still out there. When I got up to the spot where the car had landed there was still a police car there with its emergency lights flashing. There was also two, looked like fire fighters but could have just been clean up crew, out there. They were shovelling and scraping vigorously at the charcoaled remains burnt into the pavement. Metal bits and car remains.. possibly even human remains. "Oh God." I really should learn to control my thoughts and imagination, it went pretty far tonight. It wasnt long before I started thinking of the person's family. For everyone out there tonight it was just something to see, a temporary traffic jam, but for the people related to that person time must have stopped for them. I was just imagining how tragic it must be for the family to know that someone that was around at morning time, or even afternoon time and had just gone out for whatever would never be coming back. My mind was really out there, so out there that I was actually doing less than 100km on a 100km highway. I didnt even realize that till the guy behind me started flashing. I was in the middle lane. My first reaction was to check my speed. It was above 80 but not 100. I sped up a bit but couldnt really go more than 100, my mood just wasnt with it. The guy was still behind me, and then flashed again. I was getting agitated, I mean who the flip flashes someone in the middle lane and then no sooner had he flashed then he flashed again, and his headlights were no joke. I cursed at him (done under my breath not actually at him with him hearing or anything) and wished I had an LCD screen in the rear window so I could call him an ass and him actually see it. The left lane and extreme right lanes were both totally clear so I could not understand what this dude's beef was. I was tempted to get in the right lane, let him pass and then get behind him with my high beams on just to let him see how truly annoying it was. Again I so wasnt feeling the mood and he finally passed on the left. He wasnt even going that fast. Even after he passed he was just like a car ahead of me or so. He switched back to the middle lane but by that time I was already in the right lane. I was so tempted to get back in the middle behind him and flash a couple of times. Somewhere between dropping the idea and just going ahead with it I look down on the dashboard and realize my headlights werent even on. It was already way dark and all the other cars had theirs on, and the highway lights were all on. If an officer had seen me I would have gotten a ticket and probably a few black points. The guy I had thought was just being an annoying ass was actually being a considerate guy and trying to spare me the trouble, or an accident. I was pretty damn glad I hadnt went with road rage instincts and 'retaliated'. It made me think though, just how many incidents do we misinterpret as the other person being a total ass when they are actually just trying to do us a favor?

What we dont ask for

2008-10-19T18:48:00.004+04:00

I really have begun wondering if what I want is really good for me and if my choices are right choices. I mean its one thing to set goals and get all fired up to achieve them. But when your burning all your energy and seem not to be getting any closer to that goal or gaining what you want, isnt it time to pause and reevaluate? It cant always be wrong to just give up, or is it? Is a person really not allowed to get tired of pushing in the opposite direction of the current? Can't they ever get tired of playing by the rules? Lord knows no one else is following them.

I'm tired. I really am. Tired of my own restraints. Tired of following rules. Tired of breaking rules. Tired of promises. Tired of hating myself and my life. Tired in general of everything.

Patience Eludes Moi

2008-10-12T20:48:00.003+04:00

Tim Burton is absolutely my favorite, hands down. The last production of his I saw was Corpse Bride - which seriously ROCKED. Hmm, no wait.. the last thing I saw of his was the Vincent Price short. That was really good too lol. I found out today though that he is working on a new project, wait for it......

ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!

Admittedly I dont forsee myself reading the book.. (Mathlover Carroll ::shakes fist:: >.<) but with Burton showing it through his eyes, lol, it's bound to be interesting ^^.

I can't wait for it =D

One day..

2008-10-07T19:33:00.004+04:00

It blows. It really blows when you have a point to prove and despite your best efforts to do so, you cant quite pull it off. I'm not complaining though. Yep, that was one of the things on one of my many new lists. No whining, no complaining. Shit happens and will continue to happen as long as life goes on, same like rain. It rains we pull out the rain gear (unless you happen to live in Sharjah - no disrespect intended love - in which case it might be smart for us all to invest in row boats for such occasions of rain. hehe Sharjah is one of the most interesting places I've had the pleasure of living in ;) ) so yeah, when shit happens from now on I shall pull out the 'shit gear' (Hopefully I remember the drill on such an occasion cuz my memory is very selective)

I am an impatient person. I hate to wait. I'll keep telling myself that one day I will prove that point though and in the end it will be worth the wait inshallah.

I realized something quite new today. "A bum no longer belongs to time, rather, time belongs to the bum" haha, hurray for bums yeah?

I downloaded some new anime today. Kuroshitsuji and Toradora! . Now all I need is a hardcore anime the likes of Monster or Death Note and I'll have a well balanced visual meal ^^

Did I mention I cant wait for December?

3eed Jana

2008-10-05T10:49:00.002+04:00

An upbeat nasheed I found in enshad forums and thought I ought to share =D

3eed Jana

Enjoy ;)

Der Knochen

2008-10-03T19:07:00.004+04:00

I suppose I should say "3ed Mubarak" to you guys, but it'd be so belated that I feel embarrassed to do so. Anyhows, even if I didnt actually type it out here, you all know I was at least thinking/hoping it ;) So yeah, I hope you guys did in fact have a wonderful 3ed =D

I wanted to share this article I read as a reminder of the virtues of fasting six days of shawwal:

Arabic Link

English Link

I know it's neither the islamic new year nor the normal new year, but I suddenly have this urge to achieve/attain/accomplish various things that I had started and never completed and things that I meant to do and never got around to. I've started a couple of lists today (hehe I really enjoy making lists and some day I hope to be able to cross them all off knowing I've completed them! Inshallah.) And with that, I declare this a month of change =)

MSG

2008-09-23T05:13:00.002+04:00

I came across an interesting blog today. For those of you who are into medical things or loved Grey's Anatomy (I'm in the latter category ^^) it's a pretty amusing read. Both blogs are done by the same guy. The first one Creating the Godcomplex was done when he was a med student. The second blog (The Chloroform RAG), which he calls the continuation of the first, documents his time as a resident.

Anyways, I leave you with these goods to enjoy ^^

Holy Gem..

2008-09-21T21:44:00.002+04:00

Ibn 'Abbas said: "Whosoever prayed two Rak'at or more after the Isha prayer, will be considered like those mentioned in this verse (Al Furqan ayah 64)" And Al-Kalbi said: "Whosoever prayed two rak'at after the maghrib prayer, and four rak'at after the isha prayer will be considered like those mentioned in this verse (Al Furqan ayah 64)"

- Tafsir Al-Qurtubi

(And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing.) Al Furqan ayah 64

Here I Lie

2008-09-18T00:44:00.003+04:00

a) Here I lie, banned from sleep
a) My head doth ache, I ought to weep
a) And where hath thou gone, O thee I seek
b) Dependence on thee hath rendered me weak
b) I hath thou forsaken, with no reason to speak
b) Tossing and turning I've reached my preak
a) Consider thou, turning thy proverbial cheek
b) My fortune without thou seems dreadfully bleak...

I'm working on a closure

OH. MY. GOD

2008-09-16T10:36:00.006+04:00

I have seen it.. No, IT... as in what is over the 'horizon'...

I picked up a new Emirates Computer booklet yesterday while in Khalidiya Mall. I truly love that booklet. Usually it is only the computers and laptops (and most recently the iPod touch) that catch my eye. The phones were all mediocre (Dont get me wrong, I'm a hardcore Nokia fan to the point of not having eyes for anything less than just that - a Nokia) and nothing was really omg-worthy. That was soon to change though. I haven't felt this excited about a Nokia in a while.

The new Nokia N96. I must and WILL have that phone (inshallah)! I decided though, since I had promised myself not to waste funds in extravagance anymore, I'll wait. I'm going to be devoting my full attention to achieving my target weight - since there isnt much else up here in eff-ing AD to devote one's energies towards, besides tennis but anyways. Yeah, so when I reach that goal I'll reward myself with that sparkling gem of all Nokias (thus far). ::Runs off into the sunset making Mc-googoo eyes at the beauty of N96:: Hehehe.....

Five

2008-09-14T22:25:00.003+04:00

I want to be your friend, not for a 'few' years or even a 'lifetime' - but forever
I want to drive at a speed of 220 at least once
I want to publish an amazing bestseller - that I am satisfied with
I want to frame a Bachelors and Masters degree on the wall of my penthouse sitting room
I want to see a million smiles - of my doing

I'm afraid of living a long life
I'm afraid of losing that friend
I'm afraid of failure
I'm afraid of going to the doc
I'm afraid of lizards

Death Note: Flash Game

2008-09-14T19:40:00.003+04:00

Here's a game I found on DA by a deviant artist known as Silent Reaper. Interesting game it was. I recommend it to anyone who's seen the anime or Jmovies.

White Frames Are Hot

2008-09-13T18:03:00.004+04:00

Hehe, ever noticed how things look alot more sparkly and nice when your sick? =P Osama Al Safi looks adorable without his head gear ^^. LOL and contrary to what some think, I don't have a crush on him, I just like his singing and white glasses ;) [ and ok, maybe the fact that he's adorable in that pic =P ]

Being Happy

2008-09-08T21:53:00.005+04:00

It's amazing how sometimes it can be so easy to be happy, while at others you have to kinda search for reasons. There are times when I get myself so worked up that I dont even want to try and come up with a reason to be happy. Very wrong I know, but there's no time like the present to realize one's mistakes and make amends/changes (especially now while we're in the holy month =) ).

I was tired of my folks harrassing me to move back up to the palace so I proposed an offer to them. Never in my most imaginative dreams would I have thought they'd accept. Of course there was like a 1% chance they'd go ahead and do something like accept the proposal and in the back of my mind I shrugged knowing that either way, whether they accepted or declined, I won. I imagine that they would have taken longer deliberating over things, but then fate decided to step in and accelerate affairs. Next thing I knew I was back in AD in the very same room I had been so happy to abandon over the summer. It took a few days for the realization to set in. But when it did I near cursed myself for not foreseeing that they'd accept and this would have happened. Felt pretty foul and as a consolation I decided I ought to spend some funds. I called the tennis coach in the AD Ladies Club and asked about coming in for a game. That would make me feel better I was sure. She told me she wouldnt be able to fit me in till 11pm. I was near floating with joy. Tennis at that hour of the night?! I've always dreamed of playing tennis at midnight. And even though 11 isnt exactly midnight it isnt really that far off - I'd be ending at midnight ;)

That night I got to the club early. There was someone already on the court with the coach. To my surprise the coach was seriously running down balls and giving the poor girl (who looked more of an upper beginner) a work out. NICE!!!! By the time I finished my warm up in the second court, the girl had finished her lesson. On the phone I had asked the coach if she had any students on advanced level that I could play with. I think somehow that came off sounding a bit cocky cuz she said she would need to test me first and then determine who she could let me play with (her tone was kinda contempt-ish). She said it was one thing for a person to come along and say that they are on a certain level but then when she pairs them with someone from the level the first person is claiming to be from its another story. She didnt want to be responsible for getting some advanced person and I turned out to be merely an intermediate player. I suppose that wasnt the best way to start off.

She started with a warm up in the service court. Familiar territory being that we start off the same way back in our club. The balls at first were normal. Cautious even. Then she upped the intensity, sent the balls a bit farther to the left and right. I chased every one of them. I had to make up for coming off as cocky to her by proving I was good enough to say I'm advanced. I felt like I was going to die though. Back at our club one at least gets a break between rallies when they hit the ball into the net or their opponent does. There was no way I wanted to hit any into the net and she definitely wasnt one for missing a shot. A few balls and multiple rallies later I was doubled over. Catching my breath seemed totally out of the question and my stomach felt like it wanted to explode. Admitting defeat would bring shame upon me and my beloved SLC. HA, all I needed was some water. (Water meant I could walk slowly to the water cooler and thus catch my breath and regain composure for the next trial). The coach was surprised, I think I was more surprised though cuz as I got water she went around collecting the balls. I was like what the?!?! (BTW there are lots of things this coach does differently and I guess it's to be expected. I never realized how engrained Coach M's ways are with me. Like for example, this coach is ok with the next student coming in and warming up while the other student is still in the process of having her lesson. This coach doesnt care if one goes in or out of the tennis court without closing the door. She collects all balls herself. Running cool down rounds is apparently optional in her book. She carries a bunch of extra rackets with her specifically for her students - and then she askes them what color racket they want and gives them a choice!) When I finished with my water break we went to the baseline. After a minute she realized my balls were ultra short and asked if I knew that. I said I did know and that it's something I've been working on. She showed me right then and there how to make them longer. In the process of implementing what I had just learnt I mistakenly put an underspin on my forehand return. (I usually can intentionally put underspin on my backhand returns but when I do it with forehands that is by chance.) So she asked if I meant to do that and if I knew the difference between hitting balls with spin/no spin. (She can hit a ball and make it spin in a way that when it bounces it goes in the opposite direction then you predict it to proceed) so she showed me how to just 'drive' the ball and how to put spin on it. It was all pretty cool. She had the same complaints about my backhand returns as coach does. No surprise, I know my backhand needs work. In the end though, she had lots to say. She said I really surprised her though and that she had thought I was overrating myself on the fone. She said she'd be happy to coach me whenever I wanted to stop by for a lesson cuz she doesnt come across many who actually are serious about tennis and are at my level. (By that time I wanted to just lay out on the floor and die, I think I must have ran around chasing balls the equivalent of 20 rounds!) I really loved the fact that she was up and running as much as I was, it will definitely take me alot of hard work to beat her in a game. I like that, something to work for.

The next lesson she asked to see my volley, smash and serve. My forehand volley she told me how to fix and I pretty much got it. My smash, lol she said I use smash power equivalent to her 9 year old's smash. Definitely will need alot of work. She was near crying over my serve. She said it was totally wrong and from now on, after my lesson is done, I am to stay extra time with another basket of balls she'll provide for me and work on fixing my serve. That'll be nice cuz as of now the only things I can rely on to win points during a game are my returns and my opponent's errors. One ought to be able to rely on other than returns and errors if they are going to beat 'the kid'. That is currently my tennis goal and I have all intentions of reaching it inshallah.

So yes, I have to be happy for the fact that I have a coach now that should definitely help me improve (not that I'm disowning my tennis coach, but admittedly I'll need more than her if I am to reach a level worth playing the kid with.)

I'm also extremely happy to have returned something I had borrowed from a friend months back. I admit that she had a good point in her protests as to why I shouldnt have been in such a hurry to give it back, but with the active imagination I possess it was bloody torture. I've always thought of her as a good friend, but she's more than that. Lol, as Christina (GA) would say: If I murdered somone she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. (She was speaking about her best friend Meredith).. I'm happy to have a friend like her.

I'm happy to have a tennis partner like Z. She's a good and caring person that one. The coming tournament I have to give her a win. I dont think we've won a single one of our doubles matches in a tournament =(

Hmm, I'm also happy it's the holy month, though I wish I knew where my dear Safi-sama leads Taraweeh prayers. It's one of my dreams to go pray behind him at least once! ='(

I'm happy that some of my bros seem to have grown out of their annoying phase and are kinda mature. Well, to be honest I guess it is just one of them. Two of them are still horrible terrors and the third is well, what can I say.. One day he might decide to show some maturity as well. My stepbros are amusing though. M, goes and gets me my favorite drink for iftar. And Little Annie , who despite still being little has somehow graduated to being called Ann, noticed I didnt have any pillows on my bed. He's taken to stealing pillows from any and everyone in the house, so by nightfall I usually have at least 5 or 6 stolen pillows on my bed or at my door if I have it closed and he doesnt want to disturb me. Thoughtful midget that one. I'm happy for them as well.

It seems I've blurred the line between happy and grateful.. Well, what I wanted to say was that being in AD isnt all bad. Sure it's still dead AD, and I miss sharjah and it's people and lively holy month vibes but I'm not going to sulk about. I'll open my eyes and find reasons to be happy Inshallah =)

Speaking of open eyes... I am pretty tired. I should sleep, especially since it's not really a nice feeling to force one's self up for suhoor only to just get a bite of cereal or egg and then hear the fajr adthan T_T. not a nice feeling at all...

Dua after Salah

2008-09-08T20:55:00.004+04:00

أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ ، اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ السَّلأمُ وَ مِنْكَ السَّلأمُ تَبَارَكْتَ يَا ذَا الْجَلاَلِ وَ الإِكْرَمِ

Astaghfirullah -- Allahumma antas-Salaamu, wa minkas-Salaamu, tabarakta ya Dhal Jalaali wal-Ikram

I seek the Forgiveness of Allah (3 times). O Allah! You are Peace and from You comes peace. Blessed are You, O Owner of majesty and Honour

[abu Dawud 2:62, ibn Majah 2:1267, at-Tirmidhi 5:515, Ahmad 5:360]

أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ

Astaghfirullah (3 times)

I seek Allah's Forgiveness

[Muslim]

سُبْحَانَ اللَّه الْحَمْدُ للَّه اللَّهُ أَكْبَر

SubhanAllah - 33 timesAlhamdulilah - 33 timesAllahu Akbar - 34 times

Glory be to AllahPraise be to AllahAllah is most Great

[Muslim 1:418]

'Whoever says this after each prayer will be forgiven of His sins even if they be as much as the foam of the sea

لا الهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَحْدَهُ لا شَرِيْكَ لَهْ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَ لَهُ الْحَمْدُ وَهُوَ عَلى كُلِّ شَئ ٍ قَدِيْرٌ
La ilaha ilAllahu wah-dahu la shareeka lahu, lahul Mulku wa lahul Hamd, wa Huwa ala kulli shaiy'iin Qadeer
None has the right to be worshipped Except Allah alone. He has no partner, His is the dominion and His is the Praise and He is Able to do all things.
[Muslim 1:418]

'Whoever says this after each prayer will be forgiven of His sins even if they be as much as the foam of the sea'

لا الهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَحْدَهُ لا شَرِيْكَ لَهْ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَ لَهُ الْحَمْدُ وَهُوَ عَلى كُلِّ شَئ ٍ قَدِيْرٌ. اللَّهُمَ لا مَانِعَ لِمَا أعْطَيْتَ ، وَلا مُعْطِيَ لِمَا مَنَعْتَ ، وَ لا يَنْفَعُ ذَا الْجَدِّ مِنْكَ الْجَدُّ
La ilaha ilAllahu wah-dahu la shareeka lahu, lahul Mulku wa lahul Hamd, wa Huwa ala kulli shaiy'iin Qadeer. Allahumma la maan'ia lima a'taita, wa la mu'tiya lima mana'ta, wa la yanfa'u dhal-jaddi minkal-jiddu
None has the right to be worshipped Except Allah alone. He has no partner, His is the dominion and His is the Praise and He is Able to do all things. O Allah! There is none who can withold what You have Given and none may Give what You have withheld; and the might of a mighty person cannot benefit him againt You
[Sahih al-Bukhari 1:255, Muslim 1:414]

Every day of Ramadan try to add another small thing like the above for instance, saying it after every Salah (I understood this to mean every fard prayer) and inshallah the habit of doing it will stay with you even after ramadan =)

Holy Gem of the Week

2008-09-02T07:20:00.003+04:00

1. The mother of the faithfull Umm Habibah Ramilah bint Abu Sufyan Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated that she heard the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam saying: “A house will be built in paradise for every Muslim who offers twelve Rak’ah of optional salah other than the obligatory salah in day and night, to seek pleasure of Allah.” Narrated by Muslim.
Note : these extra 12 rakaats of optional prayers, according to Imam Nasaai and Tirmithi are : 2 rakaats before the obligatory prayer of Early morning (fajr), and 4 rakaats before (Duhr) and 2 rakaats after it ,and 2 rakaats after the obligatory of early evening prayer (magrib) and 2 rakaats after the obligatory prayer of night (isha) prayer.

2. Abu Huraira Radhiallahu ‘anhu said : “My Khalil (friend) (the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam) advised me to observe three things and I shall not leave them till I die: 1. “To observe Saum (fasting) three days every (lunar) month; 2.” To offer the Duha prayer; 3. To offer Witr prayer before sleeping.” Naratted by Bukhari and Muslim.

3. Aisha radhiyallahu ‘anha narrated that the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said : “The two rakaats before dawn (fajr) prayer are better than the word and all that it contains.” Narrated by Muslim.

4. Aisha radhiyallahu ‘anha narrated that the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam was never more regular and strict in offering any Nawafil than the two rakaats (sunnah before) dawn (fajr) prayer. Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

5. Umm Habiba radhiyallahu ‘anha narrated that the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said : “Whoever, observes the practice of offering four rak’ahs before Duhr prayer and four rak’ahs after it. Allah will shield him against the fire of hell.” Narrated bay Abu Daud and At-Tirmithi.

6. One should make Witr as the last salah (prayer) (at night).
Abdullah bin Umar Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated thet the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said : “Make Witr as your last salah (prayer) at night.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

7. If anyone enters a mosque, he should offer two raka’ah before sitting.
Abu Qatada Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated that the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said : “If any one of you enters a mosque, he should pray two raka’ats before sitting.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

8. Abu Huraira Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated that Allah’s Messenger Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said to Bilal Radhiallahu ‘anhu “Tell me about the most hopeful act (i.e one which you deem the most rewarding with Allah) you have done since your acceptance of Islam because I heard the sound of the steps of your shoes in front of me in paradise.” Bilal said : “I do not consider any act more hopeful than that whenever I make ablution (wudoo) at any time of night or day, I offer salah (prayer) for as long as was destined for me to offer.” Narrated by Al-bukhari and Muslim.

This was taken from Islam Q & A (the arabic version of this was down otherwise I would have posted it as well - I guess it doesnt really matter though since these days everyone is english enabled =P)

مبارك عليكم الشهر

2008-09-01T19:37:00.005+04:00

I hope everyone has a great and prosperous Ramadan =) And dont forget to pray for something amazing!

I Really Like This....

2008-08-27T17:27:00.001+04:00

Tim Burton is definitely one of my favorites.

Sleepless Zombie

2008-08-26T13:17:00.003+04:00

48 straight hours. No sleep, not even a bit. No dozing, no eye resting. None of it. And just when I thought that maybe the elusive visitor was reluctantly coming to pay its respects, Kersck decides to test out the webcam and vid chat on her new laptop. She and the aunt were on there talking and laughing, it was fun, it really was. Of course such activity at 5am chased away the very idea of sleep though. Seriously, sleeping has become like trying to hunt a deer. You have to wait hours for it to come around out in the open to graze and any little misstep or noise sets it running off all scared to come back again. By 8am this morning the headache that has kept my company for days decided to get agressive. I was feeling like a hit-n-run victim. Kersck finally decided to run along to bed leaving me to lay in mine awaiting 'the deer' to come back. It was long in coming and in the end I'm not sure if it ever came at all. Everything was just suddenly black, quiet... kinda peaceful. I think I vaguely remember some sort of dream. That long awaited peace and relief was not to be though. My phone was blaring her highness's ringtone to officially let me know my brief ronin days were over. Some ppl have seriously never heard of sticking to their roles. I mean fresh off a 12 hour flight you'd think she'd be fatigued, head straight to the palace and dive into her royal bed. Ha, ha, HA. Nope that would have been too normal. Instead ringing me is more befitting of her majesty. Still not really a crime, despite waking me up, I mean it would be kinda normal to let a person know that u landed safely (She ought to take a page outta the classier folk out there and just send a freakin sms) but of course it wasn't about landing safely, it was to enquire first about the royal-mobile which I took the liberty to commandeer. I told her it's fine and good and she'll get it back soon enough. Then she asked what I was doing. I mean seriously, my voice must have sounded like nails going through a grinder and she's questioning what I was doing??? SLEEPING, until she woke me of course. I told her she ought to try doing the same. Some how that translated to 'let's change the subject'. And suddenly she turned quizzical over a pair of shoes and some jeans that belonged to the little demon spawn bro of mine. He was showing his true demonic colors and no one wanted to give him the beat down he was begging for. I'm not one for getting my hands dirty but that doesnt mean I'm going to sit back and watch someone who clearly needs a behavioral 101 lesson get away with whatever they pleased. So I started taking some of the items which he deemed 'precious' to him. Message was clear, behave your little demonic arse or be prepared to face the consequences. At any rate, he proved to be alot dumber than I had assumed and didnt seem to learn much except two-facism. When I left, he asked my step bro to ask me about those items and where I put them (as if I'd really tell). When that failed he asked the older bro to ask me. Needless to say I aint spill and got no intentions on doing anything of the such, least not in the forseeable future.

So at this time of morning when I was trying to get my sleep on, her highness is quizzing me about those items. Sleep deprivation does make a person prone to sudden onset of bitchmode. She got testy and hung up. Ha, can't you just feel the love??

What Friends are for...

2008-08-14T13:06:00.003+04:00

Nothing hurts more than when the ppl you think know you, dont have any faith in you at all. When no one else believes in you they are the ones a person is supposed to be able to turn to and feel at peace knowing that no matter how many look down on you there is at least just that one person that still and always will have faith in you. It hurts, really hurts, like a deep cut that refuses to stop throbbing. Or like drowning and someone throws you a line, the line is too short and you have to swim a bit for it. You try with all you've got to reach the line but always just miss it. The one holding the line doesn't understand or refuses to understand that you are trying, in their mind you aren't doing anything, or maybe not enough, and despite the cramp in your leg and the fatigue you feel they look down on you as a lazy quitter. Maybe from other perspectives it doesn't seem that important that you should care what the line holder thinks, but to you it is important and seeing the line holder look down on you like that hurts. Hurts more than your cramping leg or the water rushing into your lungs. That one person is the reason you decide to give in, or give up, after all why bother? Who cares anyways whether you succeed of fail, win or lose? The next day they'll just find something else to look down on you for.

Back with the Tide

2008-08-09T16:47:00.003+04:00

In reference to this post, I am more than pleased to say I have finally recalled my university password. I guess it wasn't really important but just knowing that I didn't know the password anymore was killing me.

I really hate mornings. I went to bed all early last night - didn't even get to watch a couple of eps of Grey's Anatomy - woke up at 5 then 7 then 7:30 and decided I could sleep a little more till 8. I woke up again at 8:10. Got dressed and ready for this bloody interview out in ajman free zone (which after driving clear out past Ajman City Center I realize the free zone is in the opposite direction, I was pretty pissed - waste of gas.). I would have been on time had I not gotten lost. On top of that the only copy I had of my CV was one that was old - the info was updated and all but I must have printed this out months back. It was folded with crease lines in it and I had two phone numbers written on back. Not very professional looking but hey would it be worse than showing up without a CV at all? Hell no, I reasoned. Apparently the blue blazer-ed, gold colored button, greased-up Frankenstein wannabe wasn't impressed. He went on a b!tch rant about professionalism and crap in his holier-than-thou tone. He said he'd give me the chance to bring in a "proper-looking" CV but honestly I doubt it'd be worth it. For one I can't work with Frankenstein, I learnt from MPS that I have a serious problem with over-authoritive picky arses. No matter how polite I try to be with them my disdain for them show up in the form of unconscious sarcasm. Secondly its one of those damned jobs that you have to produce your own contacts. So not my thing, and on top of it all, the guy was only willing to barely pay pocket change. Screw him and his retarded free zone company.

The job I really wanted in customer service seems to be still open though, Lord be Praised. I got through to the consultancy place this morning. They had some problem on their side and someone was supposed to call me but didn't get around to it or forgot or whatever so the guy who answered me today said they'd probably call me tomorrow (hopefully) since they only answer phones today.

I'm SO tired, I feel like I could do a Rip Van Winkle and still need more sleep!

(Note to a certain person =P : my posts these days are pretty short but at least they're more frequent ;) Frequency trumps length ^_^ )

Just to Mark this Date...

2008-08-08T23:42:00.003+04:00

Well, I've just recieved another rejection letter from a publishing agency. I suppose it's a good thing they make one wait so long for a reply (4 months!) cuz by now I had already forgotten I was supposed to be awaiting their reply and the rejection doesn't sting as much as I know it would have if they had replied when I was still fresh in waiting. Ah well, everything happens for a reason, neh?

I spent the second night in a row last night watching Grey's Anatomy. It is really really good. I had no idea. I remember my friends telling me to watch it and then I remember wiki-ing it or whatever and finding out it was a medical drama but their practice was a veterinarian clinic, that kinda made it sound less appealing thinking these ppl were animal docs. Dont get me wrong, I love animals and all, I just wouldnt wanna watch a whole medical show about them.

Gosh, I'm tired. I've been sleeping an awful lot lately. I suspect my sugar level is extremely low, I ought to go have it checked. Anywayz, as much as I'd like to watch a few eps of GA I'll have to go to bed since I have an interview bright and early tomorrow morning....

Gone With the Wind

2008-08-07T20:50:00.002+04:00

I must be getting old. That can be the only explanation for my profound forgetfulness, which I realize has reached new heights. True I hadn't logged into my university blackboard/email since the end of the spring semester BUT still that shouldn't have been long enough to cause me to FORGET a password I would type in no less than 4 or 5 times a day -sometimes more if I used the university network and the password prompt would pop up every few minutes. This has never EVER happened to me before, I remember all my passwords as well as many of mother's (she usually would tell me hers cuz she was the forgetful one when it came to passwords.) Crap, that's why they should enable us to change the retarded meaningless number passwords they give us to something we'd at least remember. How damning it feels to only remember the first 3 digits of a 6 digit password. I wonder if they'd give me a replacement if I went down to uni or would it be a major procedure....

Ah well, I suppose it's a good thing I've kept the paper with the pin code for my bank card (come to think of it I don't think I recall the number for that either...).

Hmm, I had alot to say when I opened blogger.com but now it seems my mind has drawn yet another blank. I suppose I'll go off and send a couple of emails and then watch the first ep of Grey's Anatomy.

Happy!

2008-08-01T22:30:00.003+04:00

Lol, I forgot to mention I also watched an ep of Proposal Daisakusen yesterday. At first I was taken in by the fact that it seemed to be about baseball (main characters, YamaPi and some female I don't recognize yet, play the roles of baseball player and club manager respectively.). Turns out it was just that first ep that focused on the event that was going on when a certain picture was snapped after their game. It was ok. The kind of drama I'd watch when I am bored or need a break from writing or something.

Today we watched two more eps from different dramas. The first was Happy!. We had been going thru my friend's drama collection and I asked her to give me a short description of each one so I could decide what I wanted to see. As soon as she said that Happy! had tennis I had to see it. Lol. It was different and probably the reason I liked it - aside from the tennis part =P Just now we watched the first ep of another drama, Attention Please. That one was really funny. I'll seriously have to go find my blank dvds tomorrow, then get my dvd player fixed...

Gosh, I seriously need to play some video games! When I go for too long without hitting the ever comforting buttons of a controller I feel like a great aspect of life is missing. Ok break time is over, time to watch the next drama!

The Devil

2008-08-01T00:27:00.003+04:00

Today was fairly interesting. I actually managed to extract myself from the bed at a respectable hour. After milling about like the unemployed bum without a purpose (which, I might add, isn't really a bad status. I suppose I'll feel differently about it when my funds run dry.) that I am, I decided to go hang out with Kame's self-proclaimed fiancee. Crazy one that female, her and her cat. But it was fun, ha, it's always fun ;) We watched alot of Jdrama today. The first one she showed me was one that starred YamaPi. It was kinda like a japanese version of ER - or what I imagine ER was like since I've never seen any medical shows except for Doogie Howser MD, I don't think that really counts though lol. Anyways the name of this drama was Code Blue. I liked it despite the fact that the amount of blood made me squirmish. We watched the first ep together and she burned the remaining 3 that had been subbed on DVD for me.

Next we watched Yamada Taro Monogatari. A school drama about a boy everyone thinks is rich but in reality is rock bottom poor. It was cute. We watched half of the first ep. I'll probably go and finish watching the rest after I post this.

After Yamada, she told me she had this drama that she really wanted to watch but because it was so high quality it wouldn't play properly on her computer. She sent it to my comp thru msn (since my DVD player got busted in an unfortunate accident) and we watched it. AMAZING it was. I've only seen the first ep so far but I can already say it's going to go down on my list with Death Note and Monster (two of my all time favorites in that genre). This one was called Maou (The Devil). The same guy, Ikuta Toma, from HanaKimi played in this drama as the detective. The poor boy (Ninomiya Kazunari) from Yamada also made an appearance in the first ep.

Akh, I'm tired out and need to drag myself up early again tomorrow.... Hopefully my attempt to post more frequently is satisfying those of you who come after me in my long absences =P

Life is Too Short

2008-07-31T02:38:00.003+04:00

I don't know why I have such a hard time conveying my thoughts/feelings to ppl if it's not in written form. There are times when I just want to scream from frustration of keeping it all in, but even then unfortunately, I still can't manage to just say what has to be said. I suppose it was also the reason I ended up staying in AD for so long, simply because I couldn't work up the nerve to tell the father I had had enough and wasn't going to stay up there any longer. Everything happens for a reason though, and I'm grateful to the little guy who reminded me that "Life is too short". It is too short, much too short to waste it being stuck in a place that in no way benefits my person neither physically nor mentally. I had concocted an elaborate plan of escape which probably would have had some unwanted consequence to it, but then I gave it some thought. I'm not a child anymore and there is no reason I should have to sneak around just to do things that are totally lawful and acceptable by normal and religious standards. With all of that in mind I left AD despite being grounded over some 'misunderstanding' of speeding fines on the accursed SUV I had been driving. The father was livid and I got an earful of growling and what not, but it was totally worth my independance.

I was so happy I immediately called my friend to play tennis that very evening. Since Sunday I've played tennis every day of this week. It's pretty humid out but I'm not going to let that dampen my fun and I fully intend to make up for all the days I missed tennis.

I'm looking for a job, though I have one that is waiting on a final interview - hopefully they'll call me tomorrow inshalla. And apart from the consecutive days of bed hugging till late afternoon, I think I've been doing pretty good in the using-time-wisely-department. Lol, so much so that I've even started Gone With the Wind, a book I had once termed as "Traumatizingly huge" - which it really is, considering I discovered it has over a thousand pages. It's not normally my type of book, but surprisingly I'm rather enjoying it. I imagine with my reading speed it will take me a couple of months to finish it though. (Gomen BW).

Gosh it's already after 3am and I am wasted. I'm too tired to proofread, Lord be with you all =P

Why do you write?

2008-07-26T21:37:00.006+04:00

That's the question my stepbro who recently came back from the states asked me today in the car (of course that was before he disolved into hysterics laughing over the fact that I was driving barefooted and using only my big toe to brake and accelerate.)

Why do I write? Hmm, well the obvious answer would be because I'm a vain arse fool that wants to walk in the bookstore and see something I wrote perched up on one of the "Bestseller" pedestals. That's one reason.

I want to write till I attain or reach a certain level of perfection. Equally valid reason.

Then there is an 'approval' I feel a yearning for and enough to quench this desire if said approval was nothing more than a nod, and I wouldn't care no matter how slight or silent it was. Another very prominent reason.

Sometimes I feel like writing gives me a degree of power. There are things in this life I have no control over and that, at times, can get pretty freakin' frustrating. It's refreshing at times to create storylines, characters, and all that stuff and constantly push yourself to see just how far your creative powers can take you. It helps me to clear my mind of stressful/frustrating daily crap. It's calming I guess.

Four years ago, while writing The Princess of Arabia, I got it in my head that I wanted to do something. This something is going to take quite a piece of 'change' but I am determined to write as many books as I have to to make that something more than just a random impulsive idea.

These are in no particular order by the way.

On another note, but on the subject of writing, I wanted to say that recently I've been displeased with the vibe of my blog. (You guys have my apologies.) My displeasure was one of the reasons I haven't blogged in so long. My hands and thoughts couldn't be trusted to turn out a neutral post.

This is kinda off topic but you know, I think I just may have gotten an unexpected muse. 6 weeks ago I was looking around moving things in my room and picked up the collector's coke cup I had. It was brand new, very much unused but I noticed something inside. That something turned out to be a medium sized 'roach' (well we call them 'water bugs' but it seems no one knows what I'm talking about when I say it on this side of the world.) Anywayz, to say the least I was disgusted by it. I wanted to dump it out of the cup but I was seriously looking for something and didn't feel like being bothered with the roach much less having to kill it and seeing the after result and all. It was much easier to stick it off in the corner and cover the cup with an old CD case. Days later I'm sitting in my room and realize the roach is still there in the cup. I'm like, "Man I should kill it." but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I totally forgot about the thing till last week someone came in and accidently knocked the CD case off. To my utter surprise, Mr. roach was still very much alive. Yes, weeks later the thing is still alive and kicking and I'm sitting there wondering to myself 'What the freak is going on here?" I mean no food, nothing and mr. roach is healthy as a young sap. So yesterday annie accidently knocks the CD cover off and I tell him to hurry and put it back on cuz there is a roach in the cup. At first he doesn't believe me. Then he goes over and has a look and starts shrieking like a little girl. Once I put the CD cover back on he was fine. He even went over and had a look at it. He kept coming to me and reporting how the thing had it's hands up and was apparently doing the 'middle finger'.. How on God's green earth would such a feat be possible for a roach that doesn't even have hands much less fingers, I have no bleeding idea. He was fascinated by it though.

Today I found myself talking to mr. roach. I seriously can't bring myself to squash him. It seems kinda.. you know.. I don't know. I sorta gave him a name today as well. Actually I had two names cuz he looked like he could either be a "Harold" or a "Harvey" - no offence to any of you Harolds or Harveys out there. I told kersck to choose between those two names. She voted Harvey. So Harvey it is.

I guess now that he has a name, he is entitled to food as well....

NADAL WON!!!!!

2008-07-07T08:29:00.003+04:00

::Claps Vigorously:: Although I'm not really a fan of Nadal and would have prefered to see Roddick dethroning King Federer, I'm still happy to have seen someone else win the Wimbledon for a change - even if it was Nadal.

Following their match really put me in the mood for tennis. (as if I wasn't already dying to go knock around a couple of shots.) I'm still trying to figure out how the score went to 7-9 though, I always thought that it ended at 7! Trust a Fedal (compound name for their matches which takes the begining of Federer's name and connects it to the end of Nadal's) match to be so exciting!

Save Me from Stupidity

2008-07-04T22:06:00.004+04:00

I almost decided something very stupid today...very very stupid indeed. It started with the innocent reading of Gulf News. There was an article about Abu Dhabi University, they apparently just finished the auditorium of the new campus they recently built. The thing that caught my eye was the location of their new campus - Khalifa City. I was curious now. The place the family lives in is in Khalifa City but I've never seen a uni campus out here aside from the Women's HCT (it's down the block). So I went to the AD Uni site to see which part of Khalifa City it was in cuz there are two sections right beside each other, Khalifa A and Khalifa B. Their uni site was pretty impressive and I found myself giving it a good look over. I gotta hand it to them, they have some really good looking courses. I suppose nothing much different from UoS but something about what I was seeing was attracting me. Turns out after all my browsing of their site that they are right next door in Khalifa B. I tried imagining what things would be like if I just gave in and transferred to ADU. I reasoned that yes I would still have a car and could go to tennis here in AD and still manage to sneak off to Sharjah twice a week for tennis and possibly a third time to see my friends. It'd be a really easy life and I suppose there'd be a degree of peace in this eff-ed up family I live in. Then what? Then what I asked myself... I get settled in ADU start making friends, focus on getting better grades and then as it has been done time and time again the folks will up and decide to end their illicit affair with AD and decide it's time to move off to Fujairah, RAK or hell even Oman cuz what the hell it's bloody fun picking up on spur of the moment or pure stupid whim and moving way the hell out where u'd have to start over from scratch.

I said it before and I'll say it again, I'm tired of moving around and this insanity isn't going to stop unless those of us who despise it make it stop. Fighting what they want is certainly going to take alot but I'm willing to fight for what I want rather than have it forcefully taken from me.

My step brother came back from his prolonged stay in the states. He was staying with the uncle which I suppose did him some good. He came back a bit educated- surprisingly. He showed me this essay he wrote. Pretty impressive that piece was. I really couldn't believe it was coming from anyone associated with this family. I guess that just proves that if you go far enough the curse can't follow you. Anyways in his essay he wrote about working hard in life and using ur education and knowledge to better yourself and to attain the things you want in life. He mentioned something about staying focused on what you want and that if it's really what you want you have to work hard and stay concentrated with that focus until you get what it is you want. Although his essay was riddled with bad grammar and horrible sentence structure, his purpose and the message he was trying to convey was there and raw. I'll admit I felt a bit moved by it.

After I finished reading his essay I told him I wanted to call H and read it to her. She'd be happy for him. He asked about her (since he wasn't here when she left) and when I told him the reason she left he understood. He surprisingly asked how come I didn't go as well. I told him my method of dealing with the family will be different. The funny thing about my folks is they always believed my older sis was one to fear (as in would do something outrageous) and after H grew up they began to fear her in the same way, though none of them expected she'd pull off what she did. With me I'm usually quiet about things, except last summer when I stepped into one of their fights with H and got a little too heated, and the fuss I had made when we first moved to UAE. Other than that I'm a harmless creature, the little dog that barks when the stranger is far but when u get up close it cowers away. I suppose my stepbrother must have seen something at that moment. He started to tell me he was going to buy me a gift cuz he didn't have time to do it before he left, afraid he might be lumped in with the rest of the family when they get what is coming to them. I told him not to worry though, I'd remember him after I extricated myself from this corrupt bunch. He seemed relieved. He really seems like a changed "young man".

Break Time...

2008-07-01T19:45:00.001+04:00

I so totally know how the poor bot feels....

Summer is Bloody Long!

2008-07-01T18:36:00.002+04:00

I miss you guys!

Sir Beckenheim

2008-06-30T19:19:00.005+04:00

That is what I've decided to name my racket. Sir Squeegee Beckenheim if u please. I'm not sure but he seems to be quite pleased with his new title.

I've been saying for a while that since I'm here in AD I may as well check out the Ladies Club. I'll admit it does feel a bit treachous going off and playing in a club other than SLC but I suppose it shall prove to be for the greater good.

My all time favorite store (though second to the tape shop) Adidas is apparently having a summer sale. I caved and finally brought these pair of Barricade Tennis shoes I've been eyeing for years. Unfortunate for me they weren't the color I had really wanted. I've resolved to put my color obsession aside for now and just enjoy my first REAL (as in made for tennis and also being of genuine Adidas workmanship - cuz u can get a cheaper knockoff for 200dhs less than the real stuff) pair of tennis shoes. Good thing I brought a green Adidas shirt last time I went to Marina Mall, I am surely going to need it to go with the green in the shoes!

I seriously hope the AD Ladies Club has a tennis wall or maybe I'll be fortunate enough to find someone really great to play with... maybe.

I LOVE UoS!

2008-06-24T11:33:00.003+04:00

How much I missed it here. I'm in Sharjah for now and the first place I decided to go was my beloved uni. Not sure which home exactly it is but between Uni and the Club they both fall in the 1st and 2nd home categories. Ha, I'm beginning to believe that any place the family isn't in is home, and you know something.. I think I just might go with that. I only feel truly at peace when I know I am in a place where they are no where around.

Actually Sharjah feels pretty lonely these days. Hardly anyone is around (I mean aside from random folk). I still miss being here though. It wouldn't be a crime to entertain myself alone in the absence of the interesting ppl that are missing. Mother decided to extend her stay. She believes that somehow H might change her mind and come back with her... Maybe if hell were to freeze over, or a thousand years passed or if I suddenly became a billionairess over night (working on that =P) but at any rate I suppose she'll have to find that out for herself the hard way since she wants to pretend to be clueless to H's hints.

I almost wish I were taking summer courses. Ha, I probably should have enrolled. I guess though I have been using my time kinda wisely up in the prison. I've been plagued by new book ideas. I had one for a children's book while in the shower (Don't ask...I am in no control over where a new idea pops up at). I got out and wrote it up within 24hours. I found an illustrator for it as well though I'm not sure if it's the one I'll go with. I like her work but she might be too pricy. As for other projects I had an idea for a fantasy book and a skate-lit. Both I started but decided to put them on hold cuz they are about royalty and I wanted something from a different vein (Princess of Arabia is about royalty). Hehe my lips are sealed as far as the two current projects I'm working on. If I can keep to schedule they should be done sometime in July... I am horrible with schedules ;) So I guess they'll be done when they get done.

I told one of my classmates I'd meet her at 12 and it's already 11:58 so I guess I better get my arse moving....

250th Post...

2008-06-22T15:27:00.005+04:00

I just thought I might title this post with its post number as a commemoration of sorts. Anywayz.

I had forgotten how theraputic downloading torrents could be. It truly had been too long since last I went on mininova.org and went on a downloading spree. I started today with freeing space on my external so that I could move things from my laptop onto it. Currently the external is in the process of moving the selected contents off on to mother's computer (ha, she's not here to see 35 GBs of space being taken over by moi in mere minutes..). In the meantime I've managed to start loads of new downloads. Mostly Gossip Girl eps, season one totally rocked. I'm feeling a bit lost as to what anime I should get. It feels like ages since the days when I'd come home to open mininova and download any new anime title that appeared on the list. I did decide to complete my Zombie Loan collection. Episodes 8-11 are currently downloading. And there was another anime I had started to watch back in my first semester that I haven't looked back at since I couldn't download the rest. It was called Lovely Complex. Interesting anime that one. So I put two of its later eps on to download as well. I must say, at the moment I'm feeling reasonably at peace - a huge surprise given I am still stuck in AD.

There were a few jdramas I started on youtube and was considering downloading as well. And although downloading is nice I doubt and hope that I won't be here much longer so I probably wouldn't have time to download them anyway. Turns out though a girl I know has them so I'll just give her the DVDs to copy them on to. Things always have a way of working out neh?

Little Annie

2008-06-18T12:22:00.006+04:00

That's the nickname H had given to our stepbrother Anas. It's pretty funny, he hates to be called little annie but the name kinda stuck and it totally suits him. One day I asked him if he'd prefer I called him 'big annie'. "AWINAAAAAA" was the reply I got from him. He then informed me that he's little and not 'big'.. He couldn't have spoken more of the truth. He's 3 years old and seriously an original midget. He can go home and we not see him for months and then when you finally see him again you'd expect that he grew considerably but that is never the case - not even an inch. The only thing that grows on the kid is his hair. That stuff is way outta control when it grows. Sticks up in every which way.

This pic was snapped during one of his 'tamer' moments. I think he was 2 years old in the pic. He's pretty much a good kid despite his foul mouth at times but even then he only unleashes it on those who annoy him so I guess he's entitled to that.

Last week I was teaching him how to play cards. He was picking up pretty quick mashalla. Sometimes I have second thoughts about that though, especially when he brings them when I'd rather be doing something else - who can say 'no' to such a cute midget? One of the times while we were playing cards he told me he 'likes' me. Lol I guess that was pretty obvious considering the moment he opens his eyes in the morning he comes looking for me. He usually eats breakfast with me as well. Yesterday I had been gone for most of the day and had left before he woke up. When I came back he asked me to take him out. So I took him out and brought him two of his favorite cartoon characters.. Tom & Jerry. Serious plus points for me lol. He walks around clutching them tightly. Super KAWAIII!! It's seriously cute when he speaks. He's yet to learn the difference between languages and uses both english and arabic words. Like one day we were playing with this colored string. I picked up one and told him it was green. He got so indignant and corrected me saying: "LAAAA hai akhdar!" I said ok, the next string I picked up was a black one so I was like "Uh this one is aswad." He gave me a look that seemed to say I was such a hopeless case. He grabbed the string, pointed to it and said it was "BLACK". Lol talk about confusion. I found out that anything he knows in arabic he doesn't know the english for it and vice versa. So like when he says "sayara" he has no idea that it's called a "car" and will argue you down if you try to tell him it has another name. He's a pretty funny kid. He's the only thing I actually miss when I'm not in AD.

ILLIUSIONS

2008-06-14T15:00:00.000+04:00

Last night I was told to take the children out to have fun. We were handed money and basically kicked out of the house. I only knew of two places in AD: AD Mall and the most ghetto Carrefour I’ve ever seen. Neither was my idea of fun, the children all agreed. There is a place down the block and across the highway, it calls itself a mall. Raha Mall. We went there in hopes of finding something interesting to do. The only gaming area was something that looked for toddlers and the bloody fools had the nerve to be charging 35 per kid. Wanna know the scary part about that? PPL were ACTUALLY in THERE! That’s AD for you.

So after not finding anything in Raha Mall I said fine we’ll go to Carrefour and buy toys. They were reluctant about that. Halfway there we took a vote, “Go to Carrefour and buy toys.” or “Hold out and drive around in hopes of finding someplace fun.” They liked the latter, so at 8:40pm we were joy riding the dead streets of AD (Not to get me wrong.. there were cars out there but they all drive as if they just don’t have enough energy or desire to move faster than a crawl.) We drove down loads of unfamiliar streets. We found Emirates Computers, the Harley Davidson store, loads of Baskin Robbins (almost on every corner, I’ll assume these folks are really into their ice cream.). Some how we found ourselves in front of AD Mall despite the fact that we weren’t trying to get there. We were going to just go in but it was Friday night and the place looked like it was most likely horribly packed. Finally we decided to give up and just go buy donuts from the ghetto Carrefour that had a small Dunkin Donuts inside. I decided to try going back the twisted way we came but got a little lost when I took a few wrong turns and missed a couple after not being in the correct turn lane. I saw the road that we needed to be on to get to Carrefour but had to pass it to go down further since I couldn’t make the left turn onto it (I was in the far right lane). I drove down the block to the next light and noticed there was quite a bit of cars and people congregating in the vicinity of a pretty huge building. I couldn’t see the sign but it looked a lot like it could be a mall. There were yelps of joy from the children when we found out it was Wahda Mall. Not that they really cared so much that it was Wahda per se but the fact that it was another mall and not AD Mall. As glorious as it looked I could only assume it was just as packed as AD mall was. So I told them we’d get up early today and get around 10am. They liked that idea, so we went on to Dunkins, brought donuts (or munchkins as some preferred – myself being one of those ;) ) and went home.

This morning as promised, I packed them into the car and we went off to explore the glorious discovery of last night. I have to admit I was surprised at its greatness. I think I really love that mall. The children agree. They had a really nice time in the gaming area – which was basically empty at that hour of the morning. They rode, laughed, swung and played. They all looked really happy. Seeing them having so much fun was fun in itself. Their happiness was complete when after we finished in the gaming area I took them for lunch in the food court. They happily ate Mc Nuggets (they are crazy for chicken nuggets and popcorn.) and when they were done I got them ice cream. Ha-ppineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss. They opened their happy meal toys in the car on the ride back home. There was lots of giggling and singing. One of them spoke up and said it was the most fun they could remember having in a very long time cuz the father only takes them to buy toys once in a while in that ghetto Carrefour, and if he does happen to take them to a gaming place they just play and leave. That was kinda funny, considering I knew exactly how that was, the father was no different when I was a kid. The most he’ll do in the line of fast food is get a take-away pizza from some random no name shami restaurant or get shawarmas (chicken sandwich). It’s the sad truth but anywayz least I know what I’ll do with myself the next time I find myself dying of boredom.

On a completely different note, I wonder what it means when one dreams about their math professor. I dreamt about her last night. I was in an elevator (it was like a residential building, I guess maybe we lived there or something) and some one gets on. Before she even turned around I knew who it was. I was feeling squirm-ish having to face her after my horrible performance last semester. She’s really a sweet lady despite the way most talk about her. She smiled and for a second I thought “Well great, maybe she doesn’t recognize me…” She then told me to work hard, do better next time around and not to give up. For the rest of the elevator ride she remained smiling. The elevator stopped on a floor and a guy with 2 young kids got on. He turned out to be her husband and the kids were her son and daughter. (even though that was kinda strange cuz I met her daughter, who studies in UoS with me and I didn’t think she had any other kids.. then again I never asked so I guess anything is possible.)

Feeling Homicidal...

2008-06-11T01:48:00.001+04:00

Nearly a week later I still find myself locked in this house of madness. The high point of the day is getting to escape for a few hours on the excuse of getting groceries.. No sooner do I get in the car and pull off before I start a maddening frenzy of text-ing and making calls to make up for the time of signal restriction within the walls of the bloody house.

No one in the family seems to get why I hate AD so much. They only see material. I am the one who seriously doesn’t get them though. They act like they’re coming from years of being stranded on some desolate island deprived of all luxuries – which they certainly have not. I wouldn’t mind it I guess, though it bothers me to be related to such folks, but they aren’t satisfied being materialistic to their hearts’ content alone. They want bigger and better, which in some screwed logic means picking up and ripping everyone to AD. When I say ‘ripping’ I mean that literally. Being ripped from your ‘home’ and friends.. That’s what they’ve been doing to us from the time we were kids. It got to a point where I stopped bothering with people altogether. By the time I was 13 I had had enough. Really what was the point of making friends or getting close to people who you’d just be expected to leave barely a year after you met them? It might be understandable if one’s parents are employed in the army, traveling physician program or diplomats of some sort but when they belong to no such occupations and move around like Bedouins without direction for no apparent reason it’s frustrating to say the least. So after 5 consecutive years of it I had decided enough was enough. I was already a very shy person and it took too much effort to try and make friends to have to leave them behind almost as soon as I had warmed up to them. I stopped trying. Stayed at home 99% of the time and it was to good fortune that internet was increasingly becoming a popular thing with the people. The parents got it and it became my savior, companion and best friend. Online bonds were a hella lot easier to start, maintain and truthfully lots more fun. We moved around quite a bit at that time as well but I always knew my online friends would be waiting where ever I went and all I had to do was unpack the computer and assemble it. I made the mistake of getting to like a real person during that time. She was one of those types of ppl that made u feel really special. Next thing I knew we weren’t just moving to a different state but all the way OVERSEAS. I knew of UAE cuz I had met some locals back in the states but they were all pretty snotty boring folk. Mother was talking pretty enthusiastically about going. I questioned if it were so great then why the hell were so many of them kicking it in the states? The worst was the plane ride over. I hated planes not to mention I kept thinking of all the things I had to leave cuz we couldn’t bring them and the folks didn’t deem them as worthy enough to be shipped. The plane ride seemed excessively long. I had a window seat but the person beside me was some random stranger. Mother kept calling me to her seat, sheesh I can’t even remember what for now. But after a few goings and comings the random stranger that had to keep moving so I could get back to my seat snapped and barked at me about staying put or not coming back. I sat, thankfully mother didn’t call again, turned my face towards the glorious window, which only showed layers of dark clouds with stars in the distance, and cried. That stranger beside me was busy getting drunk off of the free alcohol on board so I doubt she noticed.

Once we got here, I decided there was no way I could stay. I’d have to go back at all costs. I’d have stayed with the uncle or grandfather. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to stay in UAE. I got to work on my high school books thinking that might be the only way, finish HS get to go back for College since it would have been free and all and who the hell wanted a degree from UAE anyway? After a week I realized that wasn’t going to get me out fast enough. Observing the surroundings I decided a much faster way would probably be to insult Shaykh Zayed (Allah yarhamhu). I came up with pretending to be mailing a letter out full of unflattering words about him (not sure why I thought they opened all letters at the post office and scanned them before letting them go to their destination).. Didn’t’ take me long to realize I’d probably end up in jail before I’d get shipped to the states. The thought wasn’t appealing. In the end I figured if I kicked up a big enough fuss and made mother’s life hell I’d get kicked back for sure. I put up a pretty good fight, made myself sick in the process. By that time I ended up meeting some pretty ok folks and the parents managed to secure stable net by then. Two years passed and I found myself getting comfortable. No sooner did that feeling of comfort come before there was talk of picking up and moving to AD. Mother was against the idea, but the father said it was either to AD or Musr. Neither sounded appealing. Praise the Lord he sobered up and forgot the idea (after we had packed up the whole house). A year later he was talking of moving again. This time with no set place in mind. The reason: he had told one of his acquaintances from the states that was coming over with his family that the guy could have our house (even though we hadn’t been planning on moving). So now to save face (or correction, his face) we were going to have to up and leave. It was pretty traumatizing, we packed up again (this time mother decided she needed to visit her folks in the states so she wasn’t even around for the packing of the house). Me and H were left with that job to do alone, lucky for us some of our friends came to help. In the end, that guy came and decided he didn’t like UAE so he turned around and went right back to the states. We had packed up the whole house in a matter of days (with virtually no sleep) and in the end it was for nothing. 2 years later (in which time I had started making friends my own age) there was talk of moving out the country again. This time to Yemen or Musr (Before anyone asks…yes my folks do have deep issues and a very unhealthy obsession with moving about). Praise the Lord that didn’t happen! We just ended up moving around a bit but thankfully it was still in sharjah. We moved near the Ajman border. I really took a liking to that house despite knowing how fickle the parents are. Sometime around the beginning of last year the father got a flat, then a house in AD. Everyone rushed up there to go check out this “new” house. They came back days later raving about how great it was and telling me what I missed. I couldn’t careless. I had been dragged up there once when the flat was gotten and decided I hated the place. To make a long story short I knew what would come of the obsession over the AD house my dumb folks were going thru. H and I tried to talk sense into the materialist blind folk but in the end it fell on deaf ears. Plots and plans were made and next thing we knew the house in sharjah was yet another tally in our book of homes past. By some miracle we managed to bum out this long in the flat in sharjah, but it seems now that my brothers have finished out this term at school they’ll be shifting to AD this fall. Now we are all (that would have naturally meant me and H since we were the only ones in the family opposed to the idea) expected to break ties with everything sharjah related and high-tail it to AD. Enough is freakin’ ENOUGH! I’m tired of seeing moving boxes, I’m tired of having to leave friends behind and being expected to just start over! H took matters into her own hands (this move being partly the reason for her actions) and decided she was no longer going to go where ever the parents fancied but where she wanted to go. I applaud the kid. I really do. But it seems despite that the parents still haven’t learnt that ppl can only be forced around for so long. It’s quite the insult that they believe I’d give up everything in sharjah to move to AD just cuz they offer to pay for uni next semester and give me an allowance.. along with car etc..

My friend Z (she’s my doubles partner) sends me msgs almost everyday. I already miss her loads and reading her msgs makes me miss her even more. I can’t imagine trading seeing her at practice twice a week for anything in AD. The same goes for all the people, friends, acquaintances…heck even enemies back there in Sharjah that make it special. Some of those special ppl are probably reading this post (or rather will read it when I finally get to net to post this) and I just want to say that for as long as you guys remain in Sharjah, it’s the only place I can really call home.

(And Dear God, I think I have already started gaining weight thanx to the sedentary boring life AD provides. UGH. Maybe I’ll abstain from food and drink till I return to my beloved Sharjah.)

A-Freakin-D

2008-06-05T21:40:00.000+04:00

God, the house in AD is truly like a freakin asylum. It’s like the moment one passes the gates they hold their hands up in surrender and willingly allow themselves to be cuffed and straitened. All forms of modern technology invented for the purpose of linking people no matter where they might be cease functioning once you enter the house (forget actually passing through the doors, my phone loses all signal and reception the moment I get through the car park gates).

Choose a room, any room – it’s not like you actually have one that is yours anyway. That’s how it is, as impersonal as a freakin hotel room. Made beds, pillows and all.. bathrooms in almost every room, drapes that actually MATCH the furniture and wall colors.. Nice, really nice but seriously lacking in the intimacy a place one could call home should have. No net, no reception on my mobile phone, stuck in a house full of the insane and undiagnosed deranged, is it any wonder the familiar cloud called “depression” came to squat over me. A friend had given me most of season one of Ugly Betty. I had started watching the first four eps back in Sharjah. It was funny. So funny that I found myself re-watching them last week at another friend’s house and ended up falling asleep before ep 4 had finished. Woke up on her bed – at 3am! So hadn’t meant to but I figured hell no sense trying to get home now I may as well finish out the night. And finish it out I did. That’s beside the point though. Once I found myself here in AD I pulled out the CD I had been saving for this particular occasion of foreseen boredom. No remedy that was. Bordering on tears of boredom I resolved to attack the books BW had so graciously lent me (even after having previous experience with my proven track record of holding onto books for long periods of time – some of these I believe she lent me last year.. wahlaylha) I picked up one that I had started months ago. I started searching for where I had left off last. With every page turned I could feel frustration building. I knew for sure there was no way I could read so I got in bed and went to sleep AT NINE PM. Totally unheard of for me unless I am sick…or sick…..or hmm sick. I am seriously going to need a cat. Kitten rather. And hmm, the yard is huge out there and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get a baby goat (those are beyond freakin adorable!!! They act like little puppies.) Yeah, maybe that’s what I’ll make my priority for tomorrow. Hunt down the AD animal market. Buy a cute little kid and a fur devil of a Siamese kitten, cappuccino color if u please. Maybe I’ll get lucky and find an adorable brother and sister pair…actually no that wouldn’t do, I want them to mate not be committing incest. Ok scratch the bro and sis, any random cute kittens.

My God, it’s only 10:13pm and I’m already feeling tired. Another important thing to add to tomorrow’s to-do list: Find the AD ladies club and sign up for Roller Hockey and Tennis. I CANNOT gain weight this summer.

A Pen in Hand

2008-06-02T08:36:00.004+04:00

It's funny how people in power believe their reign is infinite. They have the nerve to get haughty and arrogant when they are cautioned about the error in their ways. Yet it only takes one well placed b!tch slap to send them sprawling from their high horses. If it wasn't so tragic it would be a comedy. Some might think it enough to be dethroned in such a manner but nothing of the such would be befitting to this lot. The members of this exclusive country club shall regret their ways and dare I say be made an example for other corrupt members. That surely is the problem right there. Those who form their illustrious clubs never believe that one day the tables would turn and they'd find themselves on the lower end and yet they come hat-in-hand to beg forgiveness and mercy after realizing they no longer hold that position and former status. And to think, they believe their debt has been repayed with just a simple - yet embarrassing- slap on the wrists.

As for my part, I believe Mr. Edward Bulwer-Lytton was definitely on to something when he said:

THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD.

Enjoy the summer you guys, I'm going to be working 100% towards enjoying mine inshallah ;)

Good Afternoon, My Name is Sarah...

2008-05-24T23:48:00.003+04:00

Gosh, it's been a whole week and more, and I hadn't been able to muster up enough energy to write about anything. Maybe it's for the best though. I really had a bad impression of my supervisor and it kinda boils down to I should cut people more slack and not be so rushed in my judgements.

To begin we were handed scripts and told to memorize them. That was on the first day of our training. The second day, we were introduced to our supervisor. She asked our names, and seemed to have this serious high and mighty air about her. She rolled her eyes after asking my name and hearing what it was. It was like sheesh lady I hate my name to but the last thing I need is you rolling your eyes like that when you hear it. She had three of us take "call names" that she said had to be easy for people to remember, namely herself and our future customers. (I liked the fact that we could choose our names and for some freakish reason I chose "Sarah".) She seemed almost disgusted by us, the incompetent noobs brought on board for her to have to trouble herself to train. I was ready to call it quits right then and there but by the time I got home I had rethought the decision. No matter how big a B!tch the lady is or might be I'm going to learn to control my temper and learn to deal with people even if they may not be the highest scorer in the social area. It was one of those subtle lessons I learnt in uni this year and was confident that it would work after seeing an encouraging example from a good friend.

Totally neutral to any negative action from her side it turns out that she's actually pretty nice. She openly admitted later on that she used to be extremely extremely shy to the point where it was kinda incapacitating. She says she isn't a shred bit shy now but that certainly explains why she seemed so cold during our first days - contrary to her claims of not being shy anymore. lol it's still there but I guess she's subconsciously still working on it.

Anyways, though I just started and all, it seems this stint will be briefer than this post. The higher ups aren't pleased with the amount of selling we are doing (nevermind the fact that the average amount of calls I, alone, make during my working hours are usually above the 100 mark - somedays I make 105 and others 108 calls in the space of 4hours 30 mins.) oh, I think I forgot to mention this is a telesales job. I think had I known in the beginning how much it entailed I doubt I would have joined. I figured as dull as it is I just had to get in there, do what I am assigned to do which is telephonically abusing innocents with a packaged offer of accident insurance, covering partial and full disabilty and natural death for a coverage of 25,000 dhs. and if they refuse then i add in that they would receive a privilege card, vouchers worth 1500 for BTECH Centre in Dubai AND dinner vouchers for some restuarant in sharjah which supposedly boasts the biggest buffet in town... all the chrip and cheer we have to 'modulate' into our voices seriously drains all bloody hell outta me. So anywayz I was saying, it is being rumored that their is trouble in paradise and the higher ups have already kicked out 3 sales reps (who had more sales than I did) so logically I should prepare for my time to come. I'm happy I continued sending my CV and attending interviews in this time ;) I'll have no regrets about this little fling and a new addition to my CV couldn't possibly hurt....

When Friends Step In

2008-05-24T18:56:00.006+04:00

You know, I think I might be on the verge of truly hating summers. Not so much for its heat, but rather for the pure amount of crap that goes down each time the sweltering season arrives. This streak started two summers back and already it seems as if it might decide to keep with its new found tradition and come to torment the unfortunate. At the moment I'm not angry but the closer it gets the more anxious I become - nervous perhaps...

Here's a question for any who feels they could answer or even add their own opinion. If you have a really close friend, the kind of friend who you'd do anything for no matter what. And she is in a bad situation and finally decides she's had enough and is going to do what is necessary to change her situation. Her solution might not be the best and you are terribly worried about her but there is nothing you can do to help. Then she does finally tell you what you can do to help her and it turns out that you are to be helping her do what it is that you are most worried about her doing. You are afraid to lose her yet it hurts to see her in so much pain. You first make up excuses as to why you can't help her and then you finally break down and tell her you've lied and you don't want to help because you are afraid, afraid of being without her. She gets angry and marks you as a selfish person and wants nothing more to do with you. Her friend agrees that you are selfish beyond humanly possible and thinks it is totally right for that person to cut herself off from you. The person telling me this suddenly asks one of those rhetorical questions which only required a nod or some form of agreement from me, which she thought she was sure to see. Utterly shocked she was that I sympathized with the concerned friend. "Sympathized" being the operative word here. I understand how she must be feeling. I put myself in her place and thought of it as if it were my closest friend in her friend's place (la gadr Allah!). It would probably kill me to allow her to do such a thing but it would probably - actually I Know it would hurt even more to see her suffering. But then that is just how I'd operate, and maybe this girl really can't bear to be without her friend, or the thought of losing her overshadows the fact that her friend is suffering and she feels it more important for her to remain in that situation so that she remains with her rather than going with her alternative. I got a weird look when I tried to explain this to the one telling me about these two. She sees no justification whatsoever and feels that the concerned friend is likely to turn into a liability. She went on a tirade about friends taking liberties that aren't theirs to take and overstepping boundaries. Made me think of some of the things I've taken the liberty to do in the name of being a person's friend and it makes me wonder what is considered the limit to how much a friend can step into another's personal affairs without it crossing over into being repugnantly wrong?? For my own role in this whole affair I'm starting to have doubts and wonder if I am doing the right thing or even if we put right or wrong aside... maybe there is an alternative that I should have come up with, or should have suggested or something other than what I am doing.

I'm deeply considering joining volleyball at uni and taking full advantage of the serious exercise equipment they have in our sports complex. With the way things are headed, I'm going to need all the happy hormone I could muster up to get me thru this summer.

New Yorkers

2008-05-21T00:24:00.003+04:00

Q: What makes someone a New Yorker?

A: The innate ability to become disgusted with someone as soon as they greet you.

- answered by Connor Paolo

I've been meaning to write a real post.. Too drained to extert the extra energy though.. hopefully soon I will. Gomen.

It's true..

2008-05-15T11:10:00.002+04:00

Stone is Enough to Break a Glass,

One Sentence is Enough to Break a Heart,

One Second is Enough to Fall in Love,

and One Misunderstanding is Sufficient to Break Friendship.

Friendship is the Rainbow Between to Hearts.

I'm not sure who wrote this but some one sent it to me as an email and I thought I should share.